


Living Right Is In the Trying

by OneHundredSuns



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Oral Sex, Pining, Protective Gabriel, Sexual Content, Wing Kink, Wingfic, Wings, crowley is a gangster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-25
Updated: 2014-08-03
Packaged: 2017-11-17 01:29:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 70,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/546065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneHundredSuns/pseuds/OneHundredSuns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester hadn’t lead an exciting life or a particularly good one but he’d always tried to do what was right, especially when it came to his little brother, even going so far as to take the blame for a crime he didn’t commit. Now with his brother a big shot at college and no prospects of his own, he takes a job from an eccentric man named Gabriel until he can get himself together. He meets and becomes fast friends with Castiel, a mysterious man with a dark troubling past.</p><p>But Dean and Castiel’s budding relationship is soon threatened by Dean’s commitments in California, and the arrival of a known gangster named Crowley, who’s determined to have Castiel as his own...as well as his wings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> **Title:** Living Right Is In the Trying  
>  **Author:** reticentric  
>  **Fandom/Genre:** SNP/AU  
>  **Pairing(s):** Dean/Castiel, unrequited Balthazar/Castiel, mentions of Sam/Ruby and Sam/Jessica  
>  **Rating:** NC17  
>  **Word Count:** 70,000+  
>  **Warnings:** brief mentions of attempted rape, violence, conversations about forcing someone into prostitution, non pairing character death, wing!fic, sexual content, angst, fluff.
> 
>  **Artist:** Rubystandish  
>  **Art Link:** [Master Post](http://rubystandish.livejournal.com/28460.html)
> 
> Written for the Dean/CastielBigBang 2012. I had a lot of fun writing for this again and hope that I can do it every year to be honest. I'd like to thank my BFF Becky for being my cheerleader, Beta and everything in between! And thanks to my artist Ruby for her lovely banners! Anyway I hope you enjoy my story and thank you for reading! :)

Chapter One

Dean Winchester smoothed a hand across his knuckles, staring at the flat paper map in front of him. He still had a thousand and some miles to go before he reached California but it wasn’t really a big deal. He could drive all night and knock off a hundred or so if he really wanted to. Fact was however he wasn’t too sure that he wanted. Yeah he wanted to see his little brother Sam again but at the same time, he didn’t. Not because he didn’t love him because he did. Loved him so much he’d fucked himself over and sacrificed himself just so the kid could get the life he’d always wanted. But now here he was free and clear and able to do whatever he pleased. The last thing on his mind was slipping back into his role as his baby brother’s keeper.  
  
It was hard to put into words, or maybe he just didn’t wanna go there. Being an older brother meant taking care of your younger siblings…making sure they succeeded and didn’t get picked on. But that wasn’t supposed to be  _all_  there was. He was supposed to have a life outside of his family. He was supposed to be chasing chicks or hanging out with the guys, not sitting behind bars in a small room with a man who constantly farted.  
  
In his experience though life never ever worked out how it was  _supposed_  to. This was the hand life had dealt him and he was going to play; there really wasn’t any other option.  
  
Smoothing a hand over his face, he signaled the waitress for a refill on his coffee and flashed a grin when she walked over. She giggled and ducked her head, filling the small white cup to the brim before asking if there was anything else he needed. He asked for a slice of pie—if it was fresh—and a to go cup. She nodded and hurried off, and he checked out her ass as she went. She was pretty if you liked bottled blondes in too short skirts, and he did, but he just wasn’t in the mood. It was hard to think about sex when you had no damn idea what you were going to do from now on.  
  
Inside the diner were truckers in dirty caps with big rigs parked up outside, and a little old couple that drove an RV. They were taking pictures of the cheesy art on the walls and giggling like teenagers, posing beside the giant cactus with a cowboy hat on. Dean watched them with a wistful feeling in his heart wondering if his parents would have been that way had they lived. His mom loved figurines so he could see her dragging their dad on road trips just to find angels with big eyes peering out from behind their own wings. And their dad would gripe the whole way but be happier than he’d ever been.  
  
Instead of angry and miserable like he ended up.  
  
Sighing deeply, he pulled out his wallet and dropped some money on the table. He grabbed his to go cup from the counter and poured his coffee into it, smiling when the waitress handed him a plastic container holding his pie. He winked, tucked his crumbled map into the pocket of his brown leather jacket and strolled outside into the cool morning air. The highway loomed before him but it was mostly deserted. Only drifters, truckers and people with nowhere to be used roads like this. The ones with just numbers as signs and billboards saying you just  _had_  to stop by and see the biggest ball of twine in the world.  
  
It wasn’t  _that_  big if you asked him. He was expecting the size of a car.  
  
The ground was dusty from not enough rain and as he walked towards his car, he kicked flecks of dirt up with his heavy work boots. All around him was open space and semi clear skies; the air fresh with a hint of exhaust from the 18-Wheelers parked on the other side of the diner. A part of him wished that he could do something like that. Just drive from place to place with his haul and see the world. Even if he could he’d probably end up worrying about Sam. Or  _Sam_  would worry about him and beg him to stop, citing sources about accidents and robberies. And the kicker of course was that he  _would_  stop.  
  
Throwing open the driver side door he slid inside and sunk against the smooth leather seat, putting his pie aside. He continued to sip his coffee and stare at nothing, thinking about the past and all of the directions his life could have went. Not that he figured he’d ever be some kinda hot shot doctor or whatever, but  _felon_  certainty hadn’t been on the list. How was he supposed to get a job with that lurking over his head? People would immediately assume the worst. That he was an axe murderer released for good behavior and overcrowding.  
  
Yeah that would be a way more interesting story than the truth but he doubted it would help with the whole employment thing.  
  
 _What kinda jobs don’t give a shit about that kinda thing?_  He wondered to himself.  _Garbage man? Janitor at some place after hours?_  
  
Not glamorous but he could make it work for a few bucks.  
  
He glanced to his watch and slumped, checking the gages to make sure he had enough gas. He placed his coffee into the cup holder and finagled his keys out of his pocket. He was just about to stick them into the ignition when yelling caught his ear. Arching a brow, he turned his attention to a beat up green pickup truck and two men; the yeller pointing down while waving his left hand around. The other simply watched him with a rather blank expression.  
  
His cellmate in the joint hadn’t been some deep philosopher or intellect, but he’d always talked about what he would have done differently if given the chance.   
  
“I’d help more people, Dean. I’d give homeless men change and help little old ladies across the street,” He’d said genuinely. “Karma adds up, son. Maybe if I hadn’t been such a shithead I wouldn’t be here right now.”  
  
Dean would only smirk and remind him he was in jail because he stole millions from his company and was in fact a greedy bastard.  
  
Still it wasn’t a bad motto to live by. And the more time he dawdled the longer it would take him to reach California. God that made him sound like an asshole but there was just so much more to the story. So much fucken history that it was choking him. He needed time to  _breathe_. Just a little.  
  
He climbed out of the car easily and made the short trek over to where the men stood, his hands shoved into his pockets. “Hey, you guys need some help or something?”  
  
The shorter one looked at him and smiled, his eyes flashing gold from the glare of the sun. “Do you know how to change a flat tire?” He raked a hand through his light auburn hair. “I know it’s something every guy is supposed to know but let’s just say I missed that class in shop.”  
  
Dean chuckled; the little voice inside his head already cracking jokes at the fact that two guys had no idea how to change a freaken tire. He was sure that was mandatory for dudes. “Yeah I know how to change a tire.” He peeped into the bed of the truck and spied the spare. “You got a jack?”  
  
Shorty shrugged. “I don’t know. Do I?”  
  
Snorting, Dean waved a hand. “Okay no worries I should have one. I can have you fixed up in about fifteen.”  
  
“Great.” Shorty offered his hand. “I’m Gabriel Legend and my silent companion here is Castiel Novak.”  
  
Dean shook his hand. “Dean Winchester.” He turned to the aforementioned  _Castiel_  to do the same, blinking when wide blue eyes stared intensely back at him. “Um, hey.”  
  
“Hello.” Castiel said with a deep, rich voice. He shook Dean’s hand in a nice firm grip. “It is very kind of you to offer to help us. Gabriel was quite sure we would be here for a while since neither of us is proficient at this task.”  
  
“Yeah well, it’s this new thing I’m trying.” Dean smiled at him. “Sending out good karma or some shit.” He headed back to his car and shrugged out of his jacket, popping open the trunk to pull out his jack. He left his coat hanging over the side before returning to the truck, slipping the flat end of the jack under the truck’s axel.   
  
Kneeling with the X shaped lug wrench in his hand, he began the rough task of twisting off the lug nuts, grunting on the particularly tight ones.  
  
“Soo…” Gabriel drawled. “What brings you to bum fuck nowhere? Business or pleasure?”  
  
“Neither. Just passing through.” Dean explained lightly. “What about you guys?”  
  
“I had a candy bar craving and the grocery store is two miles from where we live. It would have been better to get the flat there but of course no one would have probably offered to fix it.” He rubbed his chin dramatically. “So I guess it was our lucky day to run into you.”  
  
Dean finished the last lug with a little pull and it slipped off to join the others. He piled them on top of each other so that he wouldn’t lose them. “Guess so.” Next he went about jacking up the truck. With up and down movements, he clicked and clicked the lever, and little by little the vehicle started to rise up off the ground.  
  
Gabriel folded his arms over his chest. “Well damn, you make it look so easy! What else can you do?”  
  
Dean tilted his head to the side. “Uh…I don’t know.” Odd question to ask someone.  
  
Gabriel grinned. “No I mean, what else can you do with a truck? Or for that matter a car or a tractor.”  
  
“Oh. Not tootin’ my own horn but if it runs on four wheels I can probably fix it.” He’d been working at a garage when the shit hit the fan for his old man’s best friend. Knew his way around an engine like a chef knew his kitchen. “Why?”  
  
Excitedly Gabriel bounced on his toes. “You’d be  _perfect_  to help Rufus. And when I say help I mean do most of the work because he’s getting old and grumpy, and his joints make noise when he bends over too far. Would you like a job fixing shit? I can’t really pay you a lot but I can offer room and board. Sorta.”  
  
As Dean lifted the spare tire out of the truck’s bed, he ran the proposal over in his mind. It seemed okay but that could just be some kinda cover. It was possible that Gabriel and the overly quiet Castiel were serial killers looking to make him their next victim. That would be his luck. “Not really in the market for a job.”  
  
“Aw c’mon!” Gabriel pouted. “I’ll admit it’s not exciting work but you’d be with good people. And after you fix what’s broken you can be on your merry way. Tell him Castiel.”  
  
Castiel nodded slowly. “Gabriel is a good man. He runs a tourist outlet a few miles from here.”  
  
Gabriel snorted. “Call it what is it a tourist trap. But the locals enjoy it too.”  
  
Dean pulled the flat off and let it fall heavily onto its side. “You mean you sell like rocks with those googely eyes or something?”  
  
Gabriel smirked. “We do sell trinkets but mostly it’s special people showing off their talents. I’d give you a flyer but I left them in my other pants.  _Anyway_  we don’t make millions but we do make enough to stay in business, thanks to Castiel here. He’s our main attraction.”  
  
Those words made Dean stop what he was doing and take another glance at Castiel. He didn’t look extraordinary but that wasn’t to say there wasn’t  _something_  mesmerizing about him. Maybe it was the startling ocean blue of his eyes that looked right through you or the somewhat distinguished angles of his face. Maybe it was the dark disheveled bed head or the shadow of scruff on his cheeks. He just looked…ethereal for whatever reason. Even in his khaki pants and snug blue sweater.  
  
“Oh yeah?” He mused. “What do you do? Read minds or something?”  
  
Castiel smiled softly. “No. My talent is more physical actually.”  
  
It wasn’t a come on, obviously, but for a man who’d spent the last year behind bars without a moment alone to piss let alone jack off, it sent a shiver down Dean’s spine. He turned back to his task before he said something that got him into trouble. The last thing he needed was to get his ass kicked for hitting on the wrong guy. Or a guy with his possible boyfriend standing right there.  
  
“Ya don’t say.” He said instead, fitting the good tire into place. “Just a bit curious though. Do you guys normally go around offering jobs to drifters? I could be insane or dangerous.”  
  
Gabriel piffed at him. “Nah. I know dangerous and you’re not dangerous. Besides don’t let Castiel here fool you. He could kick your ass if you tried to harm us. He’s scrappy.”  
  
Dean snickered lowly. “Interesting.”  
  
“You have  _no_  idea.” Gabriel murmured mischievously. “Seriously though, I do need a good mechanic and you’re killing it with that tire. You’d get your own trailer and whatever is left in it. Fifty bucks a week, twenty-five when I can’t swing fifty. I know it’s not a lot but we got some things cooking. You won’t starve or anything.”  
  
Exhaling deeply, Dean started to give the offer some serious thought. He didn’t exactly need any cash—at least not until the grand he already had left—but he  _was_  looking for a place to lay low for a while. And having a job gave him a nice excuse to tell Sam once he explained why he wasn’t coming immediately to California. He would be upset but he would understand the monetary aspect of things.  
  
And it would give him a chance to get his shit together.  
  
He finished fixing up the tire in silence and stood to lower the truck back to the ground. Afterwards he wiped his hand on a stray rag from inside the cab and faced Gabriel. “I should tell you, I just got out of jail a few weeks ago.”  
  
Gabriel’s brows arched. “Who did you kill?”  
  
He laughed. “No one. It’s a long story but my brother did something stupid so I took the rap for it. Got a year because I didn’t have any priors.”  
  
“Wait. You went to jail for a crime you didn’t commit so that your  _brother_  would be free?” Gabriel inquired with a bit of awe. “That’s some crazy ass shit. My brother was a dick. He’d set me up instead of help me go free.”  
  
Castiel glanced off towards the horizon. “I think it was a very noble gesture.”  
  
Funny how stupid and noble can often go hand in hand. “Yeah well…” Dean cleared his throat. “He’s my little brother and I look out for him. This happened in Kansas if you wanna look into it to know that I’m not lying. I served my time and got released. Now—now I just wanna be in my own space for a while.”  
  
Gabriel nodded. “Deano I think you’d fit right in with my group of misfits. As long as you’re not a klepo or pyromaniac I think we’ll be okay. But since I would be an idiot  _not_  to ask, what did you serve time for?”  
  
“Grand left auto.”  
  
“Ooh flashy. So you weren’t in with the killers and rapists?”  
  
“Thankfully, no. My cellmate embezzled money from his company.”  
  
“Ha! Idiot. You gonna follow us in that monster you call a car?”  
  
Dean rolled his eyes playfully. “Careful. She’s very sensitive.” Pause. “And yeah I will.”  
  
“Good.” Gabriel nudged Castiel towards the truck. “You won’t regret your decision, dude. Trust me. I’m gonna change your life.”  
  
 _Okay that sounded a bit ominous_. Dean folded up his jack and packed it away in the trunk of his black Impala, grabbing his jacket and tossing it into the back seat. He started up and flexed his fingers on the steering wheel, easing the car into gear and pulling out behind Gabriel seconds later.  
  
As he drove his thoughts collided together violently in his mind. Some would call him a coward but he wasn’t running from anything. He was just prolonging carrying out a decision he had already made. Besides it wasn’t like Sam was bad off or anything. The last time he’d talked to him he’d learned he had a new girlfriend now named Jessica, and that he was doing extremely well in school. Hell the little bookworm had always been a total nerd and now it was really paying off.  
  
He had not imploded without his big brother there to watch over him. He’d simply found someone else. Someone better. Nothing beat some pretty little thing in a too tight shirt who thought smart guys were sexy. So yeah, Sammy was  _just fine_  without him.  
  
Digging into his glove compartment, he pulled out an old cassette tape and slipped it into the tape deck. Soulful rock music filled the car and he nibbled on his bottom lip, his clear green eyes focused on the backs of the two heads in the vehicle in front of him. He wasn’t sure what to make of Gabriel yet. He came off as an okay dude but looks could be deceiving. Still offering him a job right off the jump wasn’t something an asshole did; well not unless he wanted to get over on you. But it wasn’t like he had anything worth taking except his car, and they could pry it from his cold dead hands if they dared. There’d been this  _look_  in his eyes though bordering on devious like he enjoyed being an asshole from time to time.  
  
Who didn’t?  
  
Castiel was much harder to pin down of course. He’d seemed utterly indifferent and aloof while managing to stare at Dean like he could read his mind. And what was up with  _him_  being the main draw to Gabriel’s whatever? What could he possibly do that had people paying out their hard earned money to see it? That was also of a physical nature?  
  
Suddenly by no fault of his own, Dean began to imagine that Castiel was some type of contortionist. That he could bend his lithe body into many interestingly different ways; tie himself up like a pretzel with his legs behind his head.  
  
Yeah. Yeah he would definitely pay to see  _that_.  
  
Shaking those images away before he ended up rear ending them, he took a quick sip of his coffee. While his life wasn’t all rainbows and unicorns, he knew that he was lucky not to end up in Prison with a capital P with the bad sort of people. Not that he was shallow because he wasn’t—exactly—but with his looks he would have been the bell of the ball. And while he could fight, there was always someone bigger and badder just waiting to take you on. All that shit would have probably put him right off guys entirely. As it stood however, he was pretty fluid in who he was attracted to. Had been since he was fourteen and Steven Drake rode into town on his motorbike, not giving a fuck about much except his mom and his reputation.  
  
Honestly at the time Dean was not sure whether he wanted to kiss him or be like him. Probably both.   
  
Dean had never expected to actually be his friend because he was two years older, but in between teasing Dean about being “pretty” he’d honestly appeared to like him. Dean would have ended up doing something stupid if things hadn’t spiraled out of control at home a few weeks after he turned fifteen. Suddenly there was no time to meet Steve behind the abandoned department store in the middle of the night for beers and shot gunning cigarettes. Suddenly there wasn’t time for anything except making sure Sam was okay.  
  
He didn’t regret one minute of his life in service to his little brother, but he missed how it was before.  
  
Before the fire.  
  
Before the alcohol and the depression and the yelling.  
  
Before he was expected to be way older than his fifteen years.  
  
But fuck it. He couldn’t change the past and his future was possibly looking up.  
  
After driving down the long stretch of highway past a few houses and more fields, Gabriel turned down a side road instead of coasting onto the ramp that would take you to the freeway. The journey continued on through the rather rural area and as he peaked over a steep hill, he saw a group of bright red tents sitting a ways off from the road with several gray trailers even further out into the field.  
  
Gabriel switched on his signal light and Dean followed, passing a large wooden sign that read  _LEGEND’S MAGICAL MENAGERIE!_.  
  
The Impala’s wheels crackled over gravel before coming to stop in what he assumed was a small parking lot. He had a feeling you could just park anywhere though and it would be okay. He cut the engine and climbed out, looking around slowly. It was almost like a circus but there were no animals or clowns or booths where you could play games. Or was that a carnival? Eh.  
  
There were picnic tables where one could eat and a large grill for grilling up food. He could hear the sounds of machines—maybe a generator of some type—running and there were swinging lanterns for when it got dark. As well as two tall street lamps.  
  
All in all it didn’t look too bad. The area was clean and the grounds kempt; not the kinda place you’d find litter or garbage scattered around.  
  
Gabriel jumped out of the truck and strolled over to him. “What do you think?”  
  
Dean smiled. “Looks pretty nice. Bigger than I expected.”  
  
Gabriel yawned. “Yeah. Besides Castiel there are four other people with their own tents and talents. Then I’ve got a few workers that keep things looking nice.”  
  
“What made you open this kinda place anyway?” Dean asked curiously.  
  
Gabriel’s carefree expression slipped for a moment. Dean didn’t expect him to really answer, but then he shrugged. “My dad was a dick, a real cooperate douche-bag that wanted me to follow in his footsteps. So naturally I did the next best thing and started hustling. You name it and I probably dabbled in it—nothing horrible but illegal wasn’t really a problem. Got in deep with a bookie so I took what I had, moved out here and bought this land. Before the whole tourist deal I tried farming and raising livestock. After seeing a baby cow being born I decided being Old MacDonald wasn’t the way to go.”  
  
Dean laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Happy to say I’ve never seen that.”  
  
Gabriel winked. “Pray you never do.” Then he motioned for him to follow him. “Let’s get you set up and introduced to Rufus.”  
  
Falling into step with the two men, Dean could see a few people wandering around while others stopped to stare. He didn’t wave or acknowledge them; he figured there was plenty of time to find out who to avoid later on.  
  
“May I ask you something?” Castiel questioned when they rounded a tent and Gabriel sprinted ahead. “You do not have to answer if it causes you distress.”  
  
“Shoot.” Dean said.  
  
“What were the circumstances that made you take your brother’s place in prison?” A little frown appeared between his brows. “Gabriel says it is none of my business but that does not stop my curiosity on the matter. I find it very gallant that you would put yourself into that situation for a loved one.”  
  
Dean grinned; he’d never been called  _gallant_  before. “Interesting choice of words but I kinda like it. Um…” He exhaled. He hadn’t told many people this story because he didn’t want it to affect Sam’s future. But there was no reason to keep it bottled up inside anymore. The case was closed and justice had been served. “Sam—my brother—he’s a good kid really. Some shit just went down in our past that made him start acting out. He got in trouble with the law twice before and this would have been his third strike I guess. Of course it started ‘cause of a chick.”  
  
Castiel listened aptly. “Yes?”  
  
That night flashed before his eyes and he scratched at his cheek. “Yeah. At the time he was bang—seeing this chick named Ruby and she was fuckin’ insane. I tried to tell him to ditch her but he wouldn’t listen to me. I think he liked her because I hated her. Anyway I’m at work one night and they roar up on this  _sweet_  yellow Mustang with racing stripes. Sam jumps out and he’s babbling about how Ruby stole the car and the cops are after them and what is he gonna do? He can’t go to jail! He has two years left at Stanford—he had to go back in the fall.” Kicking a rock with his boot, he grunted. “So when the cops arrived I told them I did it. Ruby’s dad was rich and in exchange for not saying she was involved, he got me a good lawyer and gave Sam whatever he needed while I was away. When I got out he made sure my car was waiting for me along with a check for a thousand bucks. “Staring over” money it was called.”  
  
“You must love your little brother very much.”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“Is he still involved with Ruby?”  
  
“No. He’s dating some girl named Jessica now. It’s getting pretty serious.”  
  
“You like her?”  
  
“Haven’t met her yet but from what I heard she seems okay. She’s not a psycho bitch so that’s a plus when it comes to chicks.”  
  
Castiel gave a tiny smile but it changed his entire face. Made him look younger. Made the corner of his eyes crinkle just so. “So Gabriel has told me on several occasions.”  
  
Dean wet his lips. “You two a thing?”  
  
Castiel blinked. “No. Gabriel is just—well he’s become a very dear friend of mine. He took me in when I had nothing.”  
  
“Likes collecting strays huh?” He joked, and Castiel’s tiny smile flared up again. “That’s cool though, Cas. Everyone needs someone. I guess.”  
  
Whether or not Castiel noticed the shortened version of his name, he didn’t seem to care. Actually his eyes widened in what could have been considered delight and Dean found himself tumbling into all the captivating blue. “Well now you have us.”  
  
Dean opened his mouth to reply but nothing came out. Not that it mattered since Castiel decided the conversation was over and meandered away towards where a petite blonde woman was standing.  
  
Gabriel had stopped and was standing with a middle aged black man, looking amused for whatever reason. Dean snorted inwardly and joined them; waiting as Gabriel introduced the man as Rufus Turner. Rufus didn’t really look friendly, in fact he looked like a total hard ass but Dean was used to dealing with his type. Tangling with one Bobby Singer had pretty much trained him on how to deal with gruff old dudes who liked their whiskey more than anything else.  
  
Rufus looked him over with a huff. “Another one? What can this one do?”  
  
“I don’t know. I haven’t taken him for a test drive yet.” Gabriel teased. “He’s here however to help  _you_. He’s supposed to be a kick ass mechanic. In any case I think you should give him a try. You’ve been whining about your back for months now so look! I brought you a shiny new toy to do all of the heavy lifting! His name is Dean Winchester.”  
  
Dean held out his hand which Rufus shook though a bit reluctantly. “Nice to meet you.”  
  
“How old are you, boy?” Rufus asked. “And why did you agree to work for this maniac?”  
  
“Twenty-three.” Pause. “And it seemed like a good idea at the time.”  
  
Rufus chuckled. “Yeah I’ve had a few of those myself. Okay. I guess it won’t hurt to see how you fair with a wrench in your hand. In any case you gotta be better than Andy. Damn fool wouldn’t know an alternator if it came up and bit him in the ass.” He pointed to a rusty red tractor a few yards away. “You help me get that working and you can stay as long as you don’t annoy me. I’m not too old to be shootin’ people but I  _am_  too old to go to jail for it.”  
  
Dean arched a brow and grinned. He had a feeling he and Rufus were going to get along just fine. “No problem. You got a toolbox?”  
  
“Does the Queen wear a crown?” Rufus waved him on as he walked off. “C’mon. Let’s get to work.”  
  
~*~  
  
By noon Dean had discarded his long sleeved flannel shirt onto the large tire of the tractor. His muscles were straining and tinged with sweat, his dark green shirt stained with grease and oil. But he was smiling at whatever Rufus was saying from where he stood on an apple crate so that he could tinker under the hood of the tractor.  
  
Castiel watched him from where he leaned against the souvenir stand with a critical eye. He couldn’t stop himself from cataloguing Dean’s expressions or the way he would throw his head back and laugh when Rufus said something particularly funny. Most of the older man’s jokes tended to go over his head but Dean had no apparent problem understanding them. It was nice though to see Rufus with someone who he could banter back and forth with. Since Uriel left he had not had that opportunity. Not really. Most did not want to spend their time listening to Rufus complain about the price of things.  
  
Which made Dean’s ingratiation with him all the more intriguing. What could they possibly have in common? Was Dean’s skill as a mechanic really so amazing that he could smooth over someone as prickly as Rufus was prone to be? Or was Rufus simply happy to have someone to talk to? In any case it was nice to see him more active.  
  
For all intents and purposes Dean Winchester was a kind young man. An admirable man because of the way he had protected his brother. Castiel did not know of any family that wasn’t on television that would react in such a way. Certainly no one in his “family” would have vouched for him in such a manner. Here maybe but not  _there_.  
  
Yet there was a sharp sadness in Dean’s telling green eyes that clearly stated all was not so cut and dry. Perhaps it was wrong to pry—Gabriel often said he asked too many questions, that he was  _nosy_ — but he found himself wanting to know more. And not just about the situation which found Dean in Nebraska but more about the man himself. It was obvious that Dean had many layers; he’d shown several in the few hours since they’d met. But which was the bottom one?  
  
“Look at you, checking out our new resident beefcake.” Gabriel’s voice drifted to his ears but he didn’t turn. “Didn’t know you were a fan of the working man, Castiel. Are those rippling muscles doing it for you?”  
  
Castiel sighed slightly as Gabriel popped up behind the counter, wiping down a crystal hologram paperweight. “As if I am to believe you offered him a job because of his skill set?”  
  
Gabriel grinned widely. “So I thought he was pretty, sue me. You can’t be surprised by that.”  
  
“Nothing you do surprises me anymore.” Castiel mused affectionately.  
  
Gabriel blew him a kiss. “Like you don’t think he’s hot. Granted I’ve never seen you  _into_  anyone before but it’s nice to know you’re not a robot. I have had my doubts all these years. It would explain  _so much_.”  
  
“Why do you think I am “into him”?” Castiel used air quotes. “Because I am looking at him? I’m not you.”  
  
“But you wish you were!” His friend laughed. “And how do I know? One, look at his face. Seriously  _look_  at it. Grandmas would be into him. Those  _lips_ … Two, you went all dopey eyed when you were talking to him earlier so he must have said something you liked. I’m not judging you even though he is only twenty-three. He’s  _lived_  so it’s okay.”  
  
 _Not really. No one so young should have shadows in their eyes._  “He is very handsome. I think working here will be good for him. It has helped many.”  
  
Gabriel shrugged as if it didn’t matter to him one way or the other. “Yeah well he’s a good kid, and you know how I’m a sucker for a pretty face and puppy dog eyes.” A beat. “Did he tell you the whole deal with his bro?”  
  
Castiel nodded. “Yes. It made me like him even more though I have to question that. I don’t really know anything about him beyond what he did for his little brother.”  
  
His friend smiled. “Considering he went to bat for him majorly, I think that’s enough.”  
  
Gabriel could be very intuitive when he wanted to be. When he wasn’t joking around or trying to be the life of the party. He was known for being a good judge of character too; all of the people he brought into his circle were damaged but well meaning. And after they were no longer dragged down by their inner or outer turmoil, they flourished under his management. Yes they didn’t make money hand over fist but they were comfortable and in a loving environment.  
  
And that is all that mattered.  
  
Tilting his head to the side, Castiel scowled. “He’s twenty-three?”  
  
“Yup!” Gabriel popped the word. “But like the song goes age ain’t nothing but a number. Especially in your case.”  
  
Castiel bristled a little. “What is that supposed to mean?”  
  
Gabriel folded his arms over his chest. “It means that you’re a year away from thirty and yet you’ve never been in a relationship. Heh not for  _someone’s_  lack of trying of course but you might as well be eighteen or younger with what you know about those sort of things.”  
  
Blue eyes rolled dramatically. “You always jump to the middle. I just wish to be Dean’s friend. I think he could use one.”  
  
Lowering his voice, Gabriel watched Dean’s jaw flex as he struggled to tighten whatever he was working on. “You gonna show him?”  
  
Naturally Castiel knew  _exactly_  what he was talking about. “I suspect he will inquire about my purpose here after he has met the others. So yes, I shall show him. I just hope he isn’t disgusted.”  
  
“I doubt that.” Gabriel replied calmly. “Doesn’t look the type. You gonna charge him?”  
  
“I hate it when you say it like that. Makes me feel like a whore.”  
  
“You’re only a whore if you let them touch you. What you do is a  _job_  and you get paid for it. Just like the others.”  
  
“I know. And to answer your question…maybe.”  
  
Gabriel patted his shoulder, his face alight with glee. “I think things are going to be a lot more fun with old Deano here. I can’t wait!”  
  
From across the way, Dean slapped at the side of the tractor and Rufus cranked it up. It roared to life with a deep sound and Dean whooped, his grin infectious.   
  
Watching him Castiel felt very inclined to agree with Gabriel. Things were definitely going to change, that was for sure. He would reserve judgment on the better or worse for later.


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

Drifting just on the fringes while Dean was given more things to do, Castiel tried not to be a  _creeper_  as Gabriel would no doubt call him. However it was difficult because after fixing the tractor, Rufus had him work on Uriel’s old Dodge pickup truck. And the more Dean worked on things the dirtier he got, and the dirtier he got the happier he looked. Obviously working with his hands put him in his element. He also didn’t complain when Gabriel had him take the trash to the dumpers behind the diner they’d met at. He was sweaty and soiled but his smile was magnetic and Castiel wanted to stare at it for as long as it remained.  
  
Afterwards Gabriel set Dean up in Uriel’s old trailer and left him to his own devices. Castiel gave him thirty minutes to familiarize himself with the small area before going to check on him. With groceries.  
  
Knocking on the tin door, he adjusted the brown paper bag in his arms and waited.  
  
Dean opened it a second later, shirtless, rubbing at his wet dirty blonde hair with a towel. “Hey Cas. What’s up?”  
  
“You are undressed,” Were the first words out of Castiel’s mouth. He regretted them immediately.  
  
Dean smirked. “Well one does get undressed to shower, but I did take the time to put on jeans.” He pointed to the bag. “What cha got there?”  
  
Castiel patted the side of it. “Uriel hasn’t been here for quite some time. His refrigerator is probably empty so I decided to bring you something until you could get to the market yourself.”  
  
“Dude that’s awesome but you didn’t have to do that.” Dean stepped to the side and waved him in. “I’m glad you did though.”  
  
Smiling, Castiel stepped inside slowly and made his way to the small kitchenette area. “Are the accommodations adequate?”  
  
“After jail? Any place is pretty damn good as long as it has a roof and plumbing.” Dean chuckled. “It’s just nice to have my own space for a change.”  
  
Uriel’s old mobile home was small—as most of them were—with everything sort of jammed up together. The kitchen had a small working stove and fridge, both old, and a sink that sometimes didn’t produce hot water. There was no dining room, just a tiny table where two people could eat if they kept their elbows down. The living room also doubled as the bedroom because the sofa pulled out into a lumpy mattress bed. Inside of the bathroom was no bathtub but a shower, sink and toilet. Most people would consider it a poor way to live, but when you had nothing even something was pretty good. He could certainty attest to that.  
  
Shaking himself back to attention, he went about the easy task of stocking the refrigerator. Dean was hovering close at his shoulder to see what he had brought. He smelled like Lever 2000 soap and generic shampoo, crisp and clean, the taint of motor oil still a very faint presence on otherwise fresh skin. Castiel could see him out of the corner of his eye; see the droplets of water rolling down the side of his neck. See the damp string of the necklace he wore with the funny little pendant resting near the symbol tattoo over his heart. See the flush of his flesh from the hot water and scrubbing. These details weren’t things that he usually noticed or paid attention to, but evidently Dean was a different sort of person altogether.  
  
Dean had once changed the fate of someone close to him with three simple words.  
  
 _I did it._  
  
Surely such a man wasn’t a man at all but some kind of Saint hidden beneath jeans and worn t-shirts. It was silly to think so but Castiel’s history was not normal like most could claim. His memories of a time before Gabriel were seared into his brain, and even now when he closed his eyes he could see white sheets billowing in the wind and hear the murmurs of women singing hymns. He hated that he couldn’t escape them. He hated that he was still prone to nightmares some eleven years later. Gabriel said it all made him human but he often had his doubts.  
  
Dean was staring at him quietly, and only then did it occur to him that he had probably asked a question. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”  
  
“You okay?” Dean asked again. “I just said there is a lot of green in there. Not really a vegetable kinda dude.”  
  
Castiel snorted. “They are good for you. And yes I am fine.” He closed the fridge door and folded the bag into a neat square. “I will accompany you to the market when you go…if you wish.”  
  
Nodding, Dean strolled over to his duffle bag and pulled out a black shirt. “Sure.”  
  
“Your tattoo, what does it mean?” Castiel inquired, lingering near the counter. “You are not a Satanist are you?”  
  
Dean laughed and pulled on the shirt, tossing his towel onto the coffee table. “No. When my brother was younger he liked those video games with warriors and shit. He started designing his own and he came up with all these symbols, even the language. One night my friend Chuck and I get wasted and decide getting tattoos would be an awesome idea. I had Sammy’s notebook in the backseat of my car, thought this  _whatever it is_  looked cool and got it.”  
  
“So it means you are a warrior?”  
  
“You’re a regular sweet talker, aren’t you? First I’m gallant and now I’m a warrior.”  
  
Castiel couldn’t hide his grin. “Should I also add modest to the list?”  
  
Dean shrugged and flopped down onto the couch. “Modest, extremely sexy, smart—add whatever you want.” He patted the space beside him. “Come tell me about this Uriel dude you keep mentioning. He didn’t die in here did he?”  
  
Smoothing down his sweater, he slowly made his way over and sat down. He’d sat on this sofa many times in the past to talk with Uriel. To ask him for advice or to listen to him complain about Gabriel albeit humorously. “No. We are not under contract to remain here. We can leave whenever we wish. Uriel met a lovely lady by the name of Missouri a few months ago and decided to leave with her. I think he was here because he was lonely after his wife and children died in a car accident. Missouri is his…hope for a new life.”  
  
“Good for him.” Dean said softly. “Is that why you are here? Cause you were lonely?”  
  
Exhaling, Castiel rubbed his thumb against his palm. It was a nervous gesture he picked up from Balthazar. “Yes and no. Gabriel took me in because I didn’t have anywhere else to go.”  
  
Dean didn’t pry and Castiel was thankful for it. “If this were SVU Gabriel would be collecting us for some kinda black market organ ring.”  
  
It sounded absolutely absurd and that is probably why it made him laugh. “Honestly if he thought he could make more money without harming us he would be keen on that idea. As it stands he is satisfied with the income that I and the others generate. However I wouldn’t be surprised if he had a few side things going on.”  
  
Flicking with his bracelets, Dean snickered. “So you guys do  _stuff_  and people pay to see it?”  
  
A nod.  
  
“Must be some pretty awesome stuff.” He murmured. “I’m gonna have to check it out when I’m all settled. When does it all start?”  
  
“After sundown. Gabriel enjoys the theatrics of nightfall.” Castiel explained wryly. “Sometimes he rotates who does what to keep things fresh. Adds lighting and music if necessary. Has he said what else you shall be doing here?”  
  
“Odds and ends really.” Dean rubbed at his eyes. “Fixing stuff, moving the trash, cleaning the grounds—that kinda shit.”  
  
“You don’t mind?”  
  
“Nah. I’ve played that role before.”  
  
Castiel found himself wondering what the circumstances to that were. He would ask Dean when they were better friends and hopefully not be crossing any boundaries. He wasn’t sure why but he wanted to _know_  Dean. Know about him. His expressions were a map of mystery and Castiel wanted to solve them one by one. It had been so very long since someone had piqued his interest in such a way. Since he had met someone who shined brighter than anyone else he knew.  
  
 _I wonder how I seem to him?_  “I am not annoying you, am I?”  
  
Dean looked at him as if he had two heads. “What? No. Of course not. You brought me food—we’re basically best friends now.”  
  
A faint blush arose in Castiel’s cheeks. “You are easily pleased.”  
  
“Yeah I kinda am.” Dean laughed lightly. “I don’t need much to get along. Never have.”  
  
Castiel could relate. “Is Rufus treating you alright? He can be prickly at the best of times.”  
  
“He’s okay. He actually reminds me of an old friend.” Dean explained. “Surly, perpetually grumpy guy with a thing for good hooch who yells at you; it’s almost like I’m eighteen again.”  
  
A tiny frown formed between Castiel’s brows as he remembered being eighteen. It was probably the most unpleasant time in his life. Nothing made sense and those he once trusted turned on him. “Well I am happy that you like him. One needs a good working relationship with one’s peers for the job to remain steady.”  
  
“So everyone here gets along?”  
  
“For the most part, yes. I suppose we are just all used to each other by now.”  
  
“Great. Guess that makes me the hot new guy.”  
  
“You are new, yes.”  
  
“And hot.”  
  
“If you say so.”  
  
“Right. Like you would bring a not hot guy food.”  
  
Castiel fought off a grin by biting his bottom lip. “I was attempting to be friendly  _and_  neighborly. However if you are going to make fun of me for it, I shall not help you in the future.”  
  
Dean poked at his ankle with his socked foot. “Yes you will and I will let you. Because  _I_  love it when hot guys give me food.”  
  
He had been called attractive before. Usually he heard it whenever he was working and from all manner of people. He wasn’t conceited but the word  _beautiful_  had been applied to him several times, and each time he took it in stride. He wasn’t sure if they meant it as a compliment however. Their eyes would often be wide in shock, their mouths forming little Os before the gasp ultimately escaped. They would stare at him critically from head to toe and then whisper  _so beautiful_  like an ancient prayer. Yet it felt a bit hollow because he knew what they were focusing on.  
  
Unlike here with Dean where he was just a man.  
  
“Are you gay?” He asked abruptly, a habit Gabriel constantly told him to work on.  
  
Dean’s eyes widened and he sniggered. “Is this because I was in jail?” Castiel opened his mouth to reply but Dean waved him off. “I like both.”  
  
Castiel nodded. “My apologizes. My people skills have never been that good.”  
  
“It’s fine, but it would be polite for you to answer your own question.” Dean stretched his long bow legs out in front of him, his expression teasing. “Just so that we’re on a level field.”  
  
“I am gay.” Castiel said, rolling his eyes playfully. “I hope that puts your mind at ease about level ground.”  
  
Dean winked. “Oh yeah. I feel a lot better now.” Pause. “You hungry? I ate at the diner but now that I have actual food I could go for something else. I could whip us up something..?”  
  
“Oh. Yes.” Castiel placed his hands in his lap, content to remain where he was. “Please.”  
  
He watched as Dean got up and strolled into the kitchenette area, digging into the cabinet for a frying pan. It was a silly thing to feel good about but Castiel couldn’t help himself. He had trouble making friends and he had no doubts that if it weren’t for Gabriel taking him in, he’d probably be homeless  _and_  friendless. But when the others had arrived broken and fearful Gabriel made sure to let them know that they both were  _there_  for them. Castiel wasn’t a genius with words of comfort but he was a fantastic listener and sometimes that is all people needed.  
  
But it was nice to think he’d made friends with Dean on his own simply by being himself. Gabriel would most likely tease him later—attributing it all to the food, and perhaps he was right—but he was willing to take the victory either way.  
  
~*~  
  
Even though Dean said he didn’t have to Castiel washed the dishes and put them away after they were done eating. Then he said he would bring by some fresh sheets for the bed later and scampered off to do…whatever it was he did. He was an odd duck but Dean liked him and not just because he tended to float towards those types of people. Castiel was also very intelligent and so awkwardly sincere that a caretaker such as Dean wanted to wrap him up in a blanket and make sure he was always okay. He didn’t honestly think he needed it though. Castiel carried himself reservedly but there was steel there too. Sexy steel.  
  
Not that he was focusing on that but it  _had_  been a year since he’d—thankfully—fucked anyone. The last person being his sort of girlfriend at the time Carmen who had only visited him once in prison and that was to break up with him.  
  
Dean snorted and looked in the cabinets, finding a box of black trash bags. He yanked one out and began the task of throwing out anything past its sell by date. Afterwards he used another bag to pack up anything he didn’t want to see on a day to day basis; weird little fairy figurines, cigar cartons filled with pennies squashed on railroad tracks and bird feathers just to name a few. He’d have to ask Cas what was Uriel’s deal; whether he had a special talent or was just around.  
  
When he had the place looking a bit more normal, he slouched onto the sofa and pulled his cell phone, staring at the shiny number pad. Taking a deep breath he dialed a familiar number and waited, tapping his fingers anxiously on his thigh as the phone rang. Four rings later and a recognizable voice was saying hello.  
  
“Hey Sammy,” Dean said hoping he sounded cheerful. “How ya doing?”  
  
“Dean! Where are you?” Sam inquired excitedly. “How many more miles until you’re here? Do you have enough money because I could wire you some if you really need it. Mr. Demos still gives me an allowance every month.”  
  
Dean smiled. “Nah I’m good. Haven’t bought much since getting out to be honest. Just gas and food. And I’m in Nebraska.”  
  
Sam hummed in response. “That’s still about a thousand miles from here. Though you could probably make it in a few days with the way you drive. I’m sure the Impala would enjoy it…”  
  
 _Smart ass._  “Yeah I probably could.” Wetting his lips, he decided to drop the bomb. “Except I—well I’ve decided to hang out here for a while. A few months maybe.”  
  
“Months?” Sam questioned. “But why? I thought the plan was for you to come out here and stay with me and Jess until you get your own place?”  
  
Dean hated hearing the disappointment in his little brother’s voice but he forced himself to push forward. He just needed this  _one thing_  for a little while. Just this one thing. “No that’s still the plan I’m just putting it on hold for a while. I got a job actually and I just wanna see how it goes for a bit.”  
  
He could picture Sam’s trademark bitch face in his head as his baby brother scoffed. “You could get a job  _here_.”  
  
“Don’t you even wanna know what it is?”  
  
“Fine. What is it?”  
  
“I’m like the mechanic to this sideshow thing. Well mechanic and whatever else they need.”  
  
“You could be a mechanic here.”  
  
Dean smoothed a hand across his face. “Sammy, I need some time to regroup man. I spent an entire year with people telling me when to eat and when to wash my ass.” He rolled his eyes up to the ceiling. “This is something I wanna do for me for a while. You get that right?”  
  
Sam was quiet for a minute before replying, “I get it. You know I’m sorry about what happened Dean. I—God I was so damn stupid to let Ruby talk me into helping her steal that car. If there was any way I could make it up to you I would.” Pause. “I mean that’s why I wanted you to come stay with us so I could take care of you for a while.”  
  
Dean grinned; Sam loved chick flick moments. “I know Sammy, I know. And I will get to California and eat your food and make you get me pie. I promise. I just wanna do this for a bit. And it’s not like we won’t keep in touch. Feel free to call me whenever you see a pretty butterfly or read a particularly touching poem.”  
  
“Jerk.” Sam muttered. “Well I  _really_  wanna see you but I understand what you’re saying. You need some space.”  
  
“Bitch, and yes I do.” Dean chuckled. “Call me whenever you want though for real. And I’ll call you when I do decide to leave here.”  
  
Sighing dramatically, Sam groaned. “Fine! That  _will_  give Jessica and me time to get your room ready. But be careful Dean and take care of yourself.”  
  
“I always do.” The meaning behind those words did not escape Dean at all. “Later Sammy.”  
  
“Later Dean.”  
  
Hanging up, Dean nodded to himself.  _That went well_  he thought idly. And it wasn’t like Sam really needed him. Dude was at fucken  _Stanford_. If anyone had their life together it was Sam Winchester. Besides maybe by the time he got to California some of Sam’s guilt over what happened would have waned away. Even now he couldn’t stand to think of his little brother suffering though Sam had brought it all on himself.  
  
Time a part would hopefully heal all wounds.  
  
~*~  
  
Rufus found a few more things for Dean to piddle with before the sun set, and then he helped make sure all of the lanterns worked. He glimpsed Castiel a few times with a petite blonde girl but whenever he lingered too long Rufus would threaten to cap him upside the back of his head. He knew the old man meant business so he’d tear his gaze away and continue working. He’d resigned himself to a night alone in his trailer watching bad tv for some peace and quiet, when a tall black man popped out of a tent to introduce himself.  
  
“Names Jake Talley.” He held out a hand which Dean shook. “Gabriel said he hired a new guy. Thought I would come say hey and everything.”  
  
“Dean Winchester,” Dean replied, his expression friendly. “And yeah I just got here today actually.”  
  
Jake smiled. “So you haven’t caught any of the shows yet? I think you’re gonna like ‘em.”  
  
At first glance Dean could tell that Jake was a cool dude. He seemed very laid back and mellow not to mention kinda eager to make new friends. Though that was probably because New Melody wasn’t exactly a social Mecca of entertainment. He got the feeling you had to make your own fun.  
  
“I keep hearing that.” Dean smirked. “I look forward to seeing what’s so interesting about all of you.”  
  
Jake laughed and motioned to a white pickup truck. “So there isn’t much to do around here; curse of small town living but there is a pretty good bar a few miles from here. You wanna check it out?”  
  
Dean eyed him speculatively. “Deal… _if_  you tell me what you do.”  
  
Grinning wide, Jake nodded. “Deal. Hey Rufus! I’m taking your boy for a drink!”  
  
Rufus made a face and waved them both off. “Just don’t trash the dang truck this time!”  
  
About twenty minutes later Jake was pulling up before an old looking building nestled in the middle of nowhere with a rusty roof and broken ice machine. The sign on top flashed  _Harvelle’s Roadhouse_  in neon red. You could hear the swanky tang of music from outside.  
  
The inside looked a lot better with a wide pool table and flashy jukebox near the door. Over the windows were moth eaten curtains and at the back was some kind of shooting arcade game. The bar itself was long and sturdy with comfortable stools and little baskets of trail mix.  
  
Dean followed Jake up to it and sat beside him, glancing around at the other people scattered about. “So this is where you come to get drunk?”  
  
Jake sniggered. “Yup. When I don’t wanna do it alone in my trailer that is.” He waved to an older woman. “Hey Ellen!”  
  
 _Ellen_  was a middle aged woman with long dirty blonde hair and dark eyes. Upon seeing Jake she tossed a towel over her shoulder and sidled up behind the bar. “Hey Jake, good to see you again. Who’s your friend?”  
  
“This is Dean Winchester. Gabriel just hired him.” Jake explained happily. “Dean this is Ellen Harvelle. She owns this place.”  
  
Ellen smiled at him. “Nice to meet ya, Dean. Are you one of Gabriel’s best and brightest?”  
  
Dean arched a brow. “Uh no. He was impressed by my tire changing skills and offered me a job helping Rufus.”  
  
She chuckled. “Well that still sounds like him. So what can I get you two?”  
  
“Beer works.” Jake shrugged and pulled a basket closer. “For starters.”  
  
She smirked but set about getting them a large pitcher and two glasses. “You from around here, Dean?”  
  
He shook his head. “No. Kansas.”   
  
When he wasn’t more forthcoming she nodded. “I’m sure you’ll get along great with Gabriel and his gang. Nice bunch of kids.”  
  
“I haven’t really met anyone but Jake and Cas.”  
  
“How is Castiel? He doesn’t come around like the others do.”  
  
“Seems fine to me. He’s a cool dude.”  
  
“That he is.” Ellen agreed. Looking past him, she sighed and turned towards the back. “Joanna Beth! There are tables out here that need to be cleaned!”  
  
“I’m coming!” A female voice yelled back, followed by a young golden blonde busting through the kitchen door carrying a white plastic tray. “God I can’t have two minutes to myself, can I?”  
  
Ellen rolled her eyes. “Sure when you find somewhere else to work. Now stop being a brat and come say hello to Jake and his friend Dean.”  
  
“Sup Jo?” Jake voiced. “This is Dean; he just started working for Gabriel.”  
  
Jo was a wisp of a thing—she looked like a strong breeze would knock her over. Her eyes were dark brown—nearly black—and she gave Dean an assessing look that he was rather used to. Not being conceited but he knew that he was good looking and that people often noticed it, just like Jo was doing right now. Though she wasn’t being obvious about it such as twirling her hair or touching his arm, but she was definitely interested in him.  
  
Hefting the tray higher onto her hip, she smiled. “Nice to meet you.” Pause. “So you work for Gabriel huh?”  
  
“Yup.” Dean took a sip of his beer. “Or Rufus. I guess they are both allowed to tell me what to do.”  
  
“Sounds promising.” She said loftily as she strolled over to clear off a table.  
  
Dean resisted the urge to snort. “Anyway I’m here.” He nudged Jake. “And I wanna know what it is you can do.”  
  
Jake wet his lips slowly. “I’m strong. I know that sounds stupid or lame but it’s the truth. I’ve always been strong but round the time my voice changed it got even worse. Or better depending on how you wanna look at it. During my  _show_  I lift heavy things shirtless and the ladies love it. I also break stuff in half or try to bend crow bars.”  
  
It sounded a little weird but way more entertaining than a ball of twine. “No shit? I suppose I could see chicks paying to see that. You must be good if they pay at all.”  
  
Jake laughed. “Yeah. Most don’t believe I can do it because I’m not all veined out like those bodybuilders. Had a couple of rednecks pick a fight with me when I first started just to see if I could kick their ass. Broke one’s jaw and he never came round again.”  
  
 _Not surprised._  “Cool though. I’ll check it out the next time you’re doing your thing.”  
  
“Cool. Tonight it’s Ava and Max.” He shoved several peanuts into his mouth.  
  
“If you guys stick around for a while I’ll be done with this shit.” Jo jiggled the dirty dishes she was holding. “Then…” She set her eyes on Dean. “We can have a drinking contest. Winner takes the other out to dinner.”  
  
Jake made an amused noise in his throat that Dean ignored. He combed his fingers through his hair and honestly thought about it. Jo was pretty and probably cool once you got to know her. At the very least they could end up having some hot sex in the back seat of the Impala. He wasn’t exactly a man whore but it wouldn’t be his first rodeo by a long shot. He’d had his fair share of random hook ups before settling with Carmen.  
  
So he shocked himself when he said, “Maybe some other time. I’m the designated driver.”  
  
Jo played off any disappointment she might have had with a flighty flip of her hand. “Your loss cowboy. Call me when you’re wearing your big boy pants.”  
  
When she was out of earshot, Jake punched his shoulder, making him cringe. “Jo is obviously into you. You  _do_  know that, right? Ellen is scary as hell but I’d go for it if I were you. I think it would be well worth it.”  
  
Dean rubbed his slightly sore bicep. “Eh maybe some other time. The last thing I need is an angry mom threatening me with a shotgun because I didn’t treat her daughter right.”  
  
“For some girls, man, you gotta risk it.” Jake laughed.  
  
~*~  
  
By the time they decided to head back to the fair grounds, Jake was happily drunk and Dean was sporting a nice buzz. His earlier assessment of Jake had been right; he was a mellow guy who did his job and just tried to have a good life. They both loved pool—and had played with Jo, Dean had let her win—and they both enjoyed a vehicle with a good engine. He wasn’t sure but he got the feeling they were going to get along pretty well. At least Jake wouldn’t be slapping him in the back of the head if he did something wrong like Rufus.  
  
From his place in the passenger seat, Jake stared out at the countryside with dazed eyes. “This place is boring as fuck but I like it. Never thought I would. I’m—I’m a city boy yo, born and raised.”  
  
Dean waited for him to burst into the  _Fresh Prince of Bel Air_  theme. “Yeah?”  
  
He nodded once. “I was gonna join the army, get money for school and all that shit.” He scoffed. “Maybe eventually be a doctor or something. I dunno. Then one day I come home from work and this  _guy_  is in my house. Crazy ass looking dude. Turns out he was some escaped convict I think.” Exhaling deeply, he continued. “My moms and little sister were home at the time. Dude just—he ripped them a part. Tried to do the same to me but I knocked his ass out with one punch. Probably would have beaten him to death if the cops hadn’t showed up. After their funerals I split and never looked back.”  
  
 _Jesus. That is a horrifying story._  “I’m sorry, man.”  
  
“It’s alright. I’m better now thanks to Gabriel.” Jake replied softly. “One day I might return to the city but for now this is what I need.”  
  
“Yeah.” Dean gripped the steering wheel tighter. “That I can definitely relate to.”


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

The next day Dean found himself to be pretty busy. Now that the tractor was fixed they had something to cut the larger portions of grass with, and since he was  _younger_  Rufus said he should do it. So he did. He was just thankful the sun wasn’t beaming down hotly or he would have ended up with one hell of a harsh sunburn on his nose and arms. After that he used the weed eater to get rid of the high reaching weeds around all of the tents and destroyed a few ant hills with the water hose. By the time he got back from the gas station with gas for the generators, it was creeping towards lunch time.  
  
His forearms were dirty and sweaty. He smelled like grass and dirt but he was surprisingly happy. For the first time in a long time there was nothing on his mind except for the jobs he had to do. And sure Gabriel was basically going to pay him in beans but that didn’t matter. He wasn’t busting his ass to do a good job for the money. He was working hard because later when his muscles ached and he had to scrub to get rid of the various smells stuck to his skin his mind was too lethargic to overwork itself. Getting drunk had the same effect but also came with a hangover.  
  
Anyway there was one house on the property that wasn’t really a house at all. It was more like a functioning barn or shack where they keep things like Christmas decorations and lawn tools. Rufus had revealed that one time it had been a farmhouse to an elderly couple but they’d since moved to Florida after selling everything to Gabriel. And instead of him maintaining everything, he took out all of the furniture but kept the power working for those “just in case” situations. That was where Dean bent down in front of the spigot to splash cool water onto his face and wash his hands.  
  
He got his face as close as he could, letting the cold liquid run over his forehead and nose. It felt amazing on his hot skin and he sighed, lashes fluttering with heavy droplets. Pulling back, he turned off the faucet and stood, feeling beads of water run down the front of his shirt and along his neck. He paid them no attention and strolled over to where Gabriel was scraping the large black grill free of muck, probably getting it ready for tonight. He liked to serve grilled food to the customers Rufus had explained. He had a “secret recipe” or something.  
  
Castiel was with him—which seemed usual—standing to the side with his hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans.  
  
“Need any help?” Dean inquired once he reached them.  
  
Gabriel shook his head. “Nah I’m good. Besides don’t wanna break you on your second day. I know Rufus has had you hopping like the studly bunny you are.”  
  
Dean huffed. “Yeah but I don’t mind. And he promised me apples if I did a good job so that I can make a pie from scratch.”  
  
Gabriel arched a brow. “You bake, you cut grass…is there anything you don’t do?”  
  
Dean actually thought for a moment. “I’m not really good with math.”  
  
Gabriel laughed and slapped his spatula against the side of a bucket, shaking off thick grease. “Good thing you won’t need that here. Well you won’t need long division here in any case. Really I don’t think _anyone_  needs long division ever. I’ve never been somewhere and thought  _damn I could use some long division right now._ ”  
  
“Me either.” He snickered. “You’re mighty quiet, Cas. Everything okay?”  
  
“He’s fine.” Gabriel mused cutting his eyes to him. “All those dewdrops on your pretty face have just rendered him mute for a bit but he’ll snap out of it soon.”  
  
Both of Dean’s brows shot up as Castiel blinked and tore his gaze away from his face. “You talk too much Gabriel.” The tips of his ears were turning pink; it was adorable and Dean didn’t throw that word around lightly if ever. “And nothing you say is ever of any import.”  
  
Gabriel stuck his tongue out childishly. “Dean knows he is pretty. Pretty people know they are pretty. Now the trick however would be getting other people to  _pay_  just to see him be pretty.”  
  
Dean shook his head. “I doubt anyone would wanna waste their hard earned money on me. Looks aside I don’t have any talents or skills.”  
  
“Pretty is a skill. Ask any supermodel.” Gabriel shrugged. “Anyway Deano tonight is a big show night because our little Castiel here is going to be front and center, so I’m going to need you on litter duty. But just when there are big crowds or a lot of annoying little munchkins running around. Otherwise feel free to lurk in the shadows like a serial killer.”  
  
“Will you be coming to see me?” Castiel asked quietly.  
  
Dean nodded. “Hell yeah. I wouldn’t miss it. I wanna be in the loop.”  
  
Gabriel winked at him. “Oh it’ll knock you for a loop alright.” Leaning back, he turned his attention behind Dean. “Jo Harvelle! What brings you to my happy little hole? Bringin’ meat or looking for some.”  
  
Exiting a dusty van that had seen better days, Jo pulled out a red cooler and lugged it over. “Both. Mom says hello by the way.” She dropped the cooler by the grill. “Hey Dean. You gonna take me up on that drinking contest tonight or what?”  
  
Dean had to admit she looked nice in her tight purple shirt and jeans. Like she could pull off being a tomboy yet still manage to be sexy at the same time. But her face just looked  _so_  young. He wasn’t sure how old she was but she looked about Sammy’s age, and jailbait was always off the menu. “Can’t. Gotta work.”  
  
She pouted, hitting him in the chest. “How are we supposed to become best friends if you don’t hang out with me? More importantly how am I supposed to  _really_  beat you at pool if you don’t offer me a rematch?”  
  
He smirked. “You won but you want a rematch?”  
  
She folded her arms over her chest. “Yes but you  _let_  me win. You totally creamed Jake. There is no way you would have missed that eight ball except on purpose. I’m a big girl, Dean. I don’t need anyone to  _let me_  do anything. I would have beaten you either way.”  
  
“No.” He leaned closer. “You wouldn’t have.”  
  
Her eyes darted to his lips and then back up to his eyes. “We’ll see.” She patted Gabriel’s arm. “Later. Oh, hey Castiel.” And then she was heading back to her van while Castiel remained more stoic than Dean had ever seen him.  
  
 _Chicks._  “Well I gotta get a sandwich before Rufus finds a chicken he wants me to pluck. See you guys later.”  
  
Perhaps he’d give Sam another call too. He’d appreciate the gesture because he was a giant girl and any time he got to have a  _Lifetime_  moment he enjoyed himself.  
  
~*~  
  
Dean wasn’t sure what to expect during “show nights”. Most of the touristy places that he’d visited only sold weird crap or showed off things you weren’t sure you ever wanted to see in the first place. The alligator boy came to mind. Anyway though Gabriel was a showman and he liked to make a scene. He also had gaudy taste and an affinity for anything gold, real or otherwise. Hence the shiny gold vest he was currently wearing and the shiny top hat while he grilled up burgers and hotdogs.  
  
It was weird but everyone seemed to be having a good time. Rufus was playing a guitar, kids were hopped up on sweets and running around like little maniacs, and people were darting from tent to tent with stars in their eyes. It shouldn’t have worked because it wasn’t a traveling sort of thing but it did. Though he got the feeling for some it was just something to do in an otherwise lifeless town. But better this than getting into real trouble tipping over cows or shit like that.  
  
Spying no paper or cigarette butts on the ground, Dean decided to see what the fuss was about. Naturally he wanted to head straight for Castiel’s tent—which was the biggest with colorful Chinese lanterns surrounding it—but he reframed. Told himself it would be sweeter if he waited like getting pie after a sucky dinner. So his first stop was to the so-called  _psychic_  and the floral pink sign proclaiming her as such.  
  
He waited outside patiently until the woman whom went in before him exited, clutching a picture frame to her chest with tears in her eyes. She looked pleased though so he just arched a brow and ducked through the open flap, looking around inside. There were mannequins wearing poofy wigs and those theater masks, wind chimes that jiggled whenever a light breeze blew through and a round wooden table in the center of the room. On top were a blue tablecloth and a glowing crystal ball with a deck of tarot cards. And sitting serenely in the dimness was the young girl he’d noticed Cas walking with.  
  
She was pretty in an everyday girl sort of way; her big blue eyes and gentle smile genuine.  
  
“Um hey.” He said slowly. “I’m—”  
  
“Dean. I know.” She smiled and gestured for him to sit down. “Castiel told me. I’m Ava Wilson.”  
  
Dean sat down with a small chuckle. “And here I thought you’d seen it in your crystal ball. Well it’s nice to meet you Ava.”  
  
She studied him quietly for a moment, tugging on her big gold hoop earrings. “I’m not shocked you don’t believe in any of this stuff. I didn’t either before it happened to me. I always thought I was normal.” Pause. “Just a secretary from Peoria that you wouldn’t be able to pick out of a crowd if it killed you.”  
  
He wet his lips. “But now you can see the future?”  
  
She nodded. “Not all of it and not just  _anything_  so if you wanna know next week’s lottery numbers you’re screwed.” He laughed and she continued. “But yeah I’m pretty good with the cards and I get visions. It was a gift my Aunt had and I guess it passed on to me. Though Aunt Pamela was way better at it than I am. She could see big events before they happened and spirits were just dying—excuse the pun—to talk to her.”  
  
“So does that mean you know my life story?” He inquired. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He didn’t like people knowing  _everything_  about him.  
  
Ava shook her head. “No. I  _do_  know that you’ve been touched by a lot of sadness in your life…but that’s in your eyes.” A sly smirk. “And Castiel touched on it.”  
  
While making a mental note to think about that later, he felt himself tense. “What isn’t in my eyes?”  
  
Dragging her clear painted nails over the shiny ball, she tapped it lightly and winced as if it pained her. “Your personal pain, the kind you don’t want anyone to know you have.” She sighed and placed her hands palm up on the table. “You’re here to get your future told. C’mon then.”  
  
Dean was tempted to get up and leave but he didn’t want her to think that she’d hit a nerve, so he slowly placed his hands in hers.  
  
“Ooh I see a fight. You’re fighting.” Her flashes fluttered. “It’s not bad—it’s sort of a misunderstanding. I see a calm starry night and a big black car, and you’re happy. And—oh!” Jerking back, she cleared her throat but her shoulders jiggled with the laughter she couldn’t hold in. “Let’s just say good things are coming your way, Dean. When you finally leave us for California, you’re gonna be in a better place. Emotionally.”  
  
 _What the fuck?_  He tried to remember had he told anyone about California. He was pretty sure that he hadn’t uttered it to a fucking soul, not even to Rufus because really that was none of their business. And the less he thought about it the less he wanted to punch something.  
  
Probably sensing his discomfort Ava patted his wrist. “It’s okay Dean. I’m legit—it’s not the end of the world and I won’t tell anyone what I saw I swear. Whatever you’re running from I can totally relate.” She exhaled shakily. “Fact is there was a time when my life was totally messed up. Everyone here’s got a story and is hiding from something bad.”  
  
“What are you hiding from?”  
  
“My ex fiancé. He used to beat the hell outta me when I got like a vision wrong or something and it cost him money. I’d see it coming and I’d still stay. I was an idiot back then.”  
  
“He hit a chick, he was the idiot.” Dean replied, his jaw clenching.  
  
She smiled thoughtfully. “I probably would have married him anyway because that is how much I loved him if it hadn’t been for this recurring nightmare I had where he strangled me one night. So I left everything and was just thankful to meet Gabriel outside a bar in Idaho.”  
  
Silence.  
  
“You’re freaked out. It’s normal. But if Jake can bench press over three hundred and fifty pounds, I don’t think it’s so farfetched to think there are other special people out there.” She shrugged her small shoulders. “You’ll get used to us.”  
  
He really fucken doubted it. “I’m gonna go.” Standing, he dug out his wallet. “How much do I owe you for the mind fuck?”  
  
Ava snickered. “First one’s on the house. Like a crack dealer. Gotta keep you coming back for more.”  
  
Dean scoffed and quickly hurried on his way feeling like he needed a stiff drink to counteract the crazy. He’d never been one for things not rooted in reality. He believed if he could see it and he could touch it then it was real. Hoodoo and voodoo were just something people used to occupy themselves with like any other supernatural thing. Honestly sometimes he felt like that about God because really what God would merrily fuck up his life the way it was without so much as a care? An asshole one or one that didn’t even exist that’s what.  
  
The latter was easier to swallow.  
  
Rubbing the back of his neck he pushed Tinkerbell to the back of his mind. He wasn’t going to let her scare him off that easily. He had to work with these people or at least around them so he wanted to know their deal. But seriously if Cas turned out to be all Haley Joel Osment he was going to choke someone. The last thing he needed was to be haunted by anymore ghosts from his past.  
  
Two older men came out of the next nearest tent laughing and hitting lightly at each other talking about falling off large hay bales. They passed a rickety sign that read  _Wizard of the Mind!_  and Dean idly thought that later he’d make a new one that wasn’t falling off its’ post. He steadied himself for whatever would happen and entered the tent, surprised to find it vastly different from Ava’s.  
  
While hers was right out of some gypsy movie, this one looked like the inside of a shag van. Two disco balls hung from the ceiling and on the wall was a giant painting of a barbarian queen wielding a sword and riding a polar bear. Dean’s fourteen year old self would have been all over this kinda shit.  
  
Sitting in a recliner in a bathrobe and pajamas, reading a comic book was a scruffy looking dude, his hair going every which way.  
  
 _What is with these people?_  “Hey.”  
  
Scruffy looked over and grinned. “Hey! Come in, come in bro. You’re the new guy, right? I saw you with Rufus.” He put down his comic book. “I’m Andy. Andy Gallagher.”  
  
“Dean Winchester.” Pause. “This is a bitchin’ place you got.”  
  
Andy grinned wider. “Thanks. Gabriel pretty much let me do whatever I want with it. He’s awesome like that.”  
  
There was a bean bag chair but Dean didn’t like the look of it. “I guess.”  
  
Andy squinted at him. “Ah you’ve seen Ava huh? Freaky shit isn’t it? I remember when she told me she saw fire in my future and then a week later I didn’t put a joint out all the way and almost burned the place down. If I hadn’t been high I would have appreciated the weirdness of it.” A shrug. “Sure you wanna see me work my mojo? Might freak you out even more.”  
  
Dean scowled. “I’m fine. What is it you do exactly, anyway?”  
  
“I read minds. I can pick thoughts and images out of people’s heads. With the  _really_  suggestible I can even project my thoughts onto them though I don’t do that a lot. Gabriel said it freaks people out.” He explained languidly. “Don’t worry; I’m not gonna be rooting around in your brain for your deep dark secrets. Just surface thoughts.”  
  
Funny enough that didn’t make Dean feel any better. “Okay. Go for it.”  
  
Andy got up and stretched, groaning when something in his back popped. He shuffled over to a cooler full of ice on the ground and flipped it open, pulling out a beer. “I’d say you think I’m a whack job but I think that’s a given. Who is Sam though? There is a lot of Sam and Sammy rattling around in your noggin.”  
  
Dean chewed on the inside of his cheek. There was no need to be upset because he’d expected something like this. “He’s my brother.”  
  
“Little brother. You’re worried about him.” Andy took out another beer and tossed it to Dean. “You think—you hope he’s okay. For what it’s worth I’m sure he is.”  
  
“Because I seem so put together?”  
  
“Nah. I just figure most normal people have normal siblings. I got a brother.”  
  
“Is he like you with the mind crap?”  
  
“Uh, no. He’s more the stalked me creepily and then tried to kill my girlfriend type.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Yeah dude was mental.” Andy sipped his beer. “I think he wanted to take over my life or something. I had to leave town.”  
  
Dean was sensing a theme here. “And then you met Gabriel and he took you in?”  
  
“Bingo!” Andy winked at him. “Yeah. Your thoughts are right. We’re all screwed up. But being here isn’t so bad. Would I rather be on a yacht in Italy, duh. Who wouldn’t? Still I got everything I need here.”  
  
He could respect that. “Cool. Glad things are working out for you.”  
  
Andy made a face. “Stay here long enough and when the next new person comes, you’ll be telling them your story just like the rest of us. We’re good people.”  
  
“Yeah I can see that.” He pried the top off his beer and gulped down half in a few short swallows. “Good,  _weird_  people.”  
  
“Heh yeah that’s about right.” Stretching back out onto his second hand couch, Andy gestured to the flaps. “You should check out Max when he’s doing his thing. I don’t think he’s on tonight.”  
  
That was fine with Dean. He wasn’t exactly in the mood for someone else to reach down inside of him and pull out something he’d rather keep hidden. “Guess I’ll go see Cas then.”  
  
Andy clapped happily. “Awesome! I love Castiel. He’s so straight laced and shit, like a robot. I can never get a good read on his thoughts—it’s like he has them on lock down. Which would make perfect sense _if_  he is fact a robot.”  
  
Chuckling, Dean took another swallow from his bottle and then left, tossing it into one of the hefty blue barrels outside. He dragged his blunt nails over the back of his neck and started on his way, passing through the throng of people ranging from four to sixty. At first he hadn’t understood how a tourist trap could stay in business in a bum fuck town like this but now he got it. Even though people had probably seen the “shows” more than once, they kept coming back because it still didn’t seem real. Or they just wanted to know how it was all done.  
  
He couldn’t help but think Sam would love something like this. And believe in it whole-heartedly.   
  
Licking his lips, he steeled himself against whatever Castiel’s talent might be and walked through the tacked back sides of his tent. The inside was comfortable almost as if when he wasn’t in his trailer he spent most of his time here, so it had to be nice and cozy. There were shelves full of books, a plush sofa that looked made out of velvet or something and two antique looking lamps on small end tables.  
  
And there was Castiel wrapped in a blanket sitting calmly with a book in his lap, hair tousled and cheeks flushed. Just what the hell did he do around here anyway?  
  
Dean whistled. “I’m a little confused by your set up.”  
  
“Oh?” Castiel placed a sash between the pages of whatever he was reading and closed it. “What would you like to be explained to you?”  
  
Dean chuckled and waved a hand. “No it’s just. I checked out Ava and Andy and while Andy’s place smelled like Snoop Dog’s dressing room, it kinda fits him. Ava’s too. But this is—well when I think of you I don’t think swank.”  
  
Castiel frowned. “Swank? Everything here was found at the local dump and restored.”  
  
“You just strike me as the more traditional type I guess.” He hunched his shoulders slowly. “Professor-y.”  
  
Castiel appeared amused. “Interesting I suppose.”  
  
Cringing inwardly, Dean dug into his pocket and fished out twenty dollars. “So now what am I paying for? And the cops aren’t gonna bust in here and arrest me, right?”  
  
“I am not a prostitute.” Castiel deadpanned. “If I were I would be charging quite a bit more than twenty dollars.”  
  
Dean snickered and handed him the money, watching as he tucked it into a cigar box under the chair. “How are you gonna top Ava and Andy?”  
  
“I—”  
  
“Winchester!” Rufus yelled from outside. “Where the hell are you, boy? I’m up to my elbows in candy wrappers and soda cans!”  
  
 _Fuck!_  “Gimme a minute!”  
  
“It’s alright, Dean. Come back after everyone has left.” Castiel said. “I do not mind waiting for you.”  
  
“Cool.” Smiling Dean turned to head out and caught sight of a tall figure lurking behind one of those divider shade things. He thought about saying something in case the guy was trouble but figured Cas knew he was back there, acting like a major creeper.  
  
 _What have I gotten myself into?_  
  
~*~  
  
By the time Dean had dumped every barrel free of trash and ran them over with the water hose, the grounds were mostly quiet. Only a few stragglers remained, ambling to their vehicles as Gabriel waved them off with a smile. Dean knew he should help close up shop but Rufus just waved him off and told him to get on. So Dean did. He didn’t want to seem over eager but he couldn’t help himself especially since Rufus had teased him about Castiel’s “big secret” while at the dump.  
  
Honestly he had no idea what to expect. Would the guy be able to walk on water or something?  
  
He found Castiel almost exactly like he had left him, curled up like a contented cat and reading. “Hey.”  
  
“Hello Dean.” Castiel snapped his book closed and stood. “Are you ready?”  
  
“Uh…” Dean nodded slowly. Unsurely. “Sure. Show me what you got.”  
  
Honestly Dean had no idea what to expect; everyone and everything here was just so fucken  _strange_. He was being exposed to people who could do the most amazing things. Things he’d only seen on tv or read about in comic books. And he wasn’t the kinda person who believed in psychics or ghosts or God, or any of that other nonsense. When he was younger, yeah, but life had succeeded in beating all of the hope and faith out of him.  
  
Still he hadn’t—there was just  _no way_  to think that under the soft looking blanket Castiel was shirtless, revealing so much  _skin_ , his jeans slung low and clinging to his hips.  
  
When it came to body parts Dean fancied himself a neck, boobs and ass man but Castiel’s sharp hipbones were making him rethink some of his life choices.  
  
Before he could ask what was going on, Castiel’s shoulders drew up and he grunted lowly, his brows furrowing into a tight frown. There was an odd sound like two pieces of fabric rubbing against each other and suddenly  _they_  exploded from Castiel’s back. Two huge fucken white wings. Pristine, ivory white with sleek feathers that reached out to either sides of the tent and arched over Castiel’s head.  
  
Dean stared. He  _stared_  and his eyes were so wide that he could feel the strain against his top lids but he couldn’t have closed them even if he wanted to. They shifted quickly—jerkily—from one wing to the other, to the joint where they could curl around Castiel’s shoulders and enfold him like a shawl.  
  
 _No. Fucken. Way._  
  
Dragging his tongue across his lips, Dean kept a bit of distance as he circled Castiel midway so that he could see behind him. He figured there would be strings or straps or  _something_  holding the wings up but naturally there wasn’t. The joints disappeared into his smooth toned back, the skin sealed around them seamlessly. But where had they come from!? How did he keep them inside of him?! Why didn’t they hurt!?  
  
Basically what the fucking fuck!?  
  
When his green eyes met soul consuming blue, Dean still hadn’t thought of anything to say beyond  _wuh_. Castiel looked smug and yet slightly embarrassed as well, and he flushed prettily under Dean’s laser-like scrutiny.  
  
Dean was at once overcome with the urge to touch him. He wanted to bury his fingers in those feathers as deep as he could; test how soft they were. His fingers twitched with it and he had to ball his hands into tight fists to keep them by his sides. However before he could voice that urge or any other, the lurking shape from earlier materialized into a blonde man wearing a V-neck shirt and dark slacks. He was older—maybe Castiel’s age—with a douche-y looking goatee and an air of indifference around him. Like he was above it all, whatever  _it_  was.  
  
“Well I think that is enough for one night, don’t you Cassy?” He grabbed Dean by the shoulders and ushered him none too gently outside muttering  _show’s over_  before snapping the flaps closed in his face.


	4. Chapter Four

Chapter Four

An hour and a half later and Dean still wasn’t too sure that his eyes hadn’t played some fucked up kinda trick on him. Or that he hadn’t accidentally gotten some kinda contact high from the weed Andy had obviously been smoking off and on between reading minds. Which sort of begged the question how he had any brain cells left that could function enough to read someone’s thoughts but that wasn’t important. What  _was_  important was the fact that Castiel had freaken wings growing out of his back. How did someone have wings? Real damn wings with glossy feathers and everything. It just didn’t make sense.  
  
Dean had a million questions but he didn’t know if they would be welcomed. Cas had probably already answered them like a hundred times anyway from random strangers. He was probably tired of talking about them.  _But maybe I should go say somethin’ so that he knows I’m not like freaked out about them or anything. Yeah I don’t think that would hurt._    
  
He had to deal with these people as long as he stayed after all and he didn’t want to make any unnecessary waves.  
  
Exhaling deeply, he ran his fingers through his hair and left his trailer to traipse slowly over to Castiel’s. He stared at the door for a second, told himself to stop acting like a little pussy and then knocked, squaring his shoulders as if ready for a fight. The door opened and Castiel smiled down at him before stepping to the side silently and beckoning him inside.  
  
“Hope I’m not bothering you.” Dean said walking in. He wasn’t surprised that the interior was impeccably clean and orderly.   
  
Castiel shook his head shutting the door. “Actually I have been expecting you. Logically you would have questions after seeing my presentation.” He moved over to his couch and sat down. “Feel free to ask whatever you wish.”  
  
Dean sighed and shuffled in place before joining him. “Don’t you get tired of people asking you shit?”  
  
Castiel cocked his head to the side and it was so freaken bird-like that Dean nearly snorted. “Most do not stay long enough to ask anything. Balthazar escorts them away after their allotted paid for minutes have passed.”  
  
“Balthazar huh? He the dick who shoved me out of your tent?” He inquired with a frown.  
  
“Yes. I am sorry if he was rude to you. I had seen a lot of people and I think he assumed I was tired.” Castiel folded his hands in his lap. “But I am happy that you are here. From your reaction earlier I did not know how you would handle being around me in the future. They—well they have been known to upset people.”  
  
“Are you kidding me? Dude you have  _wings_. That’s fucken awesome.” Dean grinned at him. “Yeah I got questions but I’d never ditch you ‘cause you’re different.”  
  
Castiel visibly relaxed. “Thank you.” Pause. “So what do you wish to know?”  
  
Good question. Everything? “Um I don’t know. They’re real, right? I mean I know I saw them growing out of your back but you don’t have them out now so how does that even work?”  
  
Castiel hummed thoughtfully. “They are real but honestly I am not sure how they are—they simply  _are_. I am able to keep them inside of me until I wish to release them. My back aches on occasion because of it, and there are scars for when they emerge. I suppose I should let them out more but…” He trailed off, a haunting look entering his eyes before he forced it away. “I’ve never been tested or studied so I do not know how they, fit as it were. I have come to think that they somehow meld to my bones. Contract.”  
  
Dean’s gaze twitched to his shoulders. “Does it hurt when they come out?”  
  
“A little but it is a pain I am used to.”  
  
“When did they first show up?”  
  
“Puberty.”  
  
“Is it like—I mean do your parents have them?”  
  
“I never knew my parents so I cannot accurately answer that question.”  
  
By his tone Dean could tell it was a sore spot so he immediately dropped it. If there was anything he knew something about, it was topics not up for discussion. He had more than he cared to remember. “And you’re okay with people paying to see them? Do you ever get any creeps?”  
  
“At first their attention bothered me but over the years I became accustomed to it. Most are reoccurring. Some are the faithfully devoted who look upon me as an angel. I have been told it is calming for them to see my wings.” He explained. “There have been a few people who tried to touch or who obviously wished to cause me some type of harm, but that is why Balthazar sticks around. To make sure no one oversteps my boundaries.”  
  
Dean rolled his eyes humorously. “I bet you could kick their ass if you had to.”  
  
“True. However I am not certain I would fare as well with a crowd.” Castiel stood and drifted into his kitchenette. “Also the wings are heavy so I could be incapacitated if someone were to pin them down.”  
  
So much to take in; is this real life? “Can you fly?”  
  
Castiel laughed. “I have honestly never tried, Dean. Perhaps one day I will.”  
  
Dean hoped he was around to see it even if the idea of flying terrified him. He bet it would look cool, like something you would see in a movie. “Well for what it’s worth I think you’re amazing. You guys are cool and you can do cool shit.”  _While I’m a high school dropout ex con with self esteem issues. Nice._  
  
Castiel pulled a bottle of water out of his fridge. “Yes but there are things that you can do that we can’t. And to the outside world we are seen as freaks unlike a handsome man that I am sure fits in everywhere.”  
  
“Heh yeah, no. I have fucken horrible people skills. I come off like a damn psycho sometimes. Chicks dig me but you know how that goes.” A beat. “Wait. You think I’m handsome?”  
  
And then Castiel did his shtick of going completely blank faced. If Dean was the kinda dude who always needed to know what others were thinking it would have drove him insane. “I was simply making a point.”  
  
“Hm the point that I’m a handsome ass devil.” Dean teased. “I think that’s the second time you’ve told me how hot I am. Third times a charm ya know?”  
  
Castiel huffed out an exasperated breath but it lacked heat. “After a successful show Gabriel invites everyone to dinner. The Roadhouse provides most of the food and drink. I am sure he would love for you to join us.”  
  
At the mention of  _food_  Dean’s stomach growled loudly. “Sounds good to me.” He groaned as he got up. “Ya know I meant what I said Cas. You’re pretty awesome.”  
  
He didn’t miss the pleased little half smile that Castiel got as he left. So the weird little dude had wings. It could have been something bad like tentacles or horns. And he was being honest when he said he didn’t care. Actually it was kinda hot and he wasn’t sure what it said about him that he found  _wings_  to be sexy but he did. If there was a term for people who liked birds way too much he bet Sam would know it. Nerd knew all that kinda useless shit.  
  
 _Wouldn’t mind finding out why he has them though,_  He thought to himself. Were they just some kinda birth defect like an extra finger or whatever? Or a tail? That made a little sense and it wasn’t like he was an _actual_  angel or anything. No angel in their right mind would chill on this stupid ass planet when they could be up in Heaven floating on a cloud and shit.  
  
He could get why people thought Castiel was an angel but he couldn’t let himself go there. It would just fuck him up even more and he didn’t want the faith he once had to rear its’ ugly head ever again. He was just fine in believing in nothing. Including himself.  
  
~*~  
  
“Good take tonight?” Gabriel questioned as he set the long sturdy table.  
  
“Hm? Oh yes.” Castiel replied making sure the stakes of the beige canopy covering the table were firmly in the ground.   
  
Gabriel poked a fork at him. “I heard Dean stopped by.”  
  
Castiel nodded. “Yes and he was very…understanding.”  
  
Gabriel flashed him a look but didn’t comment, instead shoving a red sucker into his mouth. Castiel folded his arms across his button down blue shirt and silently thanked him. Gabriel always meant well but he often had an odd way of helping when it wasn’t simply saving someone by giving them a place to stay. He was quite nosy most of the time and Castiel knew that just because he escaped interrogation this time he wouldn’t be so lucky later. He was never malicious though so that softened his other faults.  
  
Castiel was ecstatic that Dean had looked upon him with awe and not disgust. He had not been lying when he’d revealed some people had horrible reactions to his wings. He had lost count of the time he’d been called a freak or nearly been attacked because of them. Some people—it was as if their brains couldn’t rationalize what they were seeing so they lashed out. Violently.  
  
The good thing however was that usually those people never returned to see him again. Though he was not sure if he disliked them more than the ones that saw him as a religious symbol to pray to. While he would never begrudge anyone their faith, he realized it was completely misplaced when it was aimed at him. As were their whispered words of nephilim.  
  
He was just a man with wings and nothing more. He didn’t wish to be anything else.  
  
But if seeing him made them happy then he could endure whatever they wished to call him.   
  
The sound of truck wheels over rocks alerted the arrival of the Harvelles. Castiel watched as mother and daughter exited their vehicle, both carrying silver trays of food. He could remember the first time he’d met them and somehow found himself in a drinking contest with Ellen. He’d learned afterwards that he had quite a high tolerance for alcohol even though he didn’t see himself drinking much in the future. Everyone assumed it had something to do with his wings. Gabriel had joked that it could be his second talent; drinking men twice his size under the table in Tequila.  
  
Castiel liked Ellen and Jo. They were good people and they treated everyone like they belonged. He also liked Ellen’s urge to mother those around her, always making sure they had enough food or got enough rest. Even Rufus who was as crabby as they came smiled whenever she forced an extra plate of chicken on him.  
  
Jo on the other hand got along well with most of the men in Gabriel’s troupe. She wasn’t girly enough for Ava so their friendship was surface based at best. But Andy and Jake loved her and would often disappear to the Roadhouse to play pool or some other type of game with her. She was a good person underneath her—at times—selfishness and bratty behavior. Like her mother when she’d seen his wings for the first time she’d muttered a low  _holy shit_  but had not proceeded to treat him any differently. For that he was grateful.  
  
They went about taking the foil covers off the food, laughing at Gabriel’s tasteless jokes. One by one the others migrated out of their trailers and over to the table; it was a dance they all knew very well. Dean arrived with Andy, the two of them talking about the painting in Andy’s tent. Castiel was happy that Dean was getting along well with the others. He was very guarded but apparently he deemed them worthy of at least letting them see through a small crack in his walls.  
  
His expression at seeing Castiel’s wings was burned into Castiel’s skull. Through the years many had looked upon him with wonder but only a small few with grace. It was as if Dean understood how wings could be a blessing and a curse. It was also very obvious that he wanted to touch them. Most did. Children would go so far as to request feathers. While he found it a common reaction—the urge to touch—that usually amused him with Dean there was something more. His wings had never shivered to their tips before like they did after Balthazar had pushed Dean outside.  
  
Scratching at his scruffy cheek which felt warm beneath his fingertips, he snapped back to attention once Dean and Andy were seated. The chair to Dean’s left was empty and he moved towards it but Jo beat him there, plopping down happily. His jaw ticked in irritation and as usual Gabriel noticed because Gabriel noticed  _everything_.  
  
Chuckling to himself, he sat down at the head of the table and made Jake move down one seat. “I want Castiel to sit near me tonight! C’mon bro, aren’t you hungry?”  
  
Castiel resisted the desire to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Yes I am.” He took his seat; it was directly in front of Dean.  
  
“So…” Gabriel drawled cheerfully as the food was passed around so that everyone could get what they wanted. “How was your first night, Dean? Ready to run screaming for the hills yet?”  
  
Dean snickered and dropped a giant spoonful of mashed potatoes onto his plate. “Nah I’m good.”  
  
Gabriel grinned. “Good that’s good. Rufus hasn’t complained about you yet so I think he likes you.”  
  
The man in question snorted. “I never said that.”  
  
“Your eyes said it.” Gabriel taunted. “In any case I think it’s good Deano decided to shack up here. New blood never hurt anything.”  
  
“I agree.” Jo voiced putting a napkin into her lap. “Even if he  _is_  too chicken shit to play me in a fair game of pool.”  
  
Dean huffed at her. “Fine I’ll play you again but don’t go crying to mama when I beat your ass.”  
  
Ellen popped open her beer. “My baby girl can handle herself. I’m only there for moral support.”  
  
Jo beamed at her mother’s praise and bumped her shoulder into Dean’s, sliding her chair closer to his. Castiel frowned at his green beans. He wasn’t accustomed to jealously…if that was in fact what he was experiencing. He couldn’t honestly be sure. He just knew he didn’t like Jo flirting with Dean.  
  
“Yeah well when I win I don’t wanna hear any whining.” Dean murmured.   
  
“We should make some kinda bet.” Jo suggested. “If you win, you can be the undisputed champion forever and I will never bring it up again.”  
  
“And if you win?”  
  
“If I win, you take me out somewhere nice and buy me dinner. And flowers.”  
  
Jake chortled. “You hate flowers.”  
  
She glared at him. “I could learn to like them.”  
  
 _I like flowers,_  Castiel thought idly. “Pool is an infuriating game,” he said aloud. “The logistics appear simple but active play is not.”  
  
Dean looked under the table and tapped his sneaker with his boot. “Spoken like a dude who can’t play. Next time we both get some time off I’m gonna teach you. Soon you’ll be hustling pool with the best of ‘em.”  
  
Castiel  _really_  liked the sound of that. “I would very much like to learn. Thank you for offering to teach me.”  
  
“Did you learn how to play pool in jail?” Gabriel asked his eyes wide in mock innocence.  
  
Castiel wanted to kick him under the table. What if Dean didn’t want that news out in the open?   
  
Dean just smirked and reached for the salt. “No. I uh, had a few unsavory friends back in the day and they taught me.”  
  
“You were in prison?” Balthazar inquired, all British disdain. “Should we be locking up our valuables?”  
  
“No.” Dean said slowly. “And yeah I was in  _jail_  for a year. I stole a car.”  
  
Balthazar poured himself a glass of Scotch. “That sounds like a very idiotic thing to do.”  
  
“Balthazar.” Castiel chastised. “I’m sure Dean had a reason for committing such an act. To vilify him without all of the facts would not be fair.”  
  
Balthazar shrugged. “I just wonder should we be worried about our safety now that we’re harboring a hardened criminal.”  
  
Gabriel laughed/snorted. “Hardened criminal, hardly. I’ve met old people more vicious that Dean here. Remember Gloria and her walker of death? Now that is one ninety year old I would never want to meet in a dark alley.”  
  
Dean brought his drink to his lips, smirking around the rim. “Hey I’m not some cuddly teddy bear either. But there is no need to be worried. I’m not psycho, I just made some stupid decisions and I served my time for them.”  
  
Jo rubbed his shoulder. “We’ve all did stupid things at one point or another. Believe me when I say you’re surrounded by good company.”  
  
“I’ll drink to that!” Andy exclaimed gleefully.  
  
Everyone lifted their glasses in a sort of mock toast and continued eating, the conversation light and friendly. Dean had been among them for nearly two days and yet he already fit in. For some reason that thought pleased Castiel. He hated thinking about Dean all alone on the open road with only the sounds of his music to keep him company.   
  
“Castiel, you’re quiet tonight.” Ava reached across him for another roll. “Everything okay?”  
  
Gabriel decided to answer for him. “He flashed Dean the goods earlier. First time and all.”  
  
“Ooh really?” Jo giggled. “What did you think Dean? We’ve got our own bird man.”  
  
 _I hate that description._  
  
Dean swallowed the food in his mouth. “I think he’s awesome.” He winked at Castiel. “I can see why people keep coming back for more.”  
  
“Yeah. Castiel’s milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.” Gabriel snickered, hitting Jake in the back when he choked a little on his roast beef. “You’d think he’d be drowning in admirers by now too.”  
  
All eyes turned to him and Castiel gripped his spoon tightly. “Why would I want admirers who only wish to be around me for my wings? A fetish is a fetish even when it is unconventional.”  
  
“That makes sense.” His friend replied. “I think we all want someone who wants us for us and not how cool we are.”  
  
Max Miller snorted. “I just wanna get laid. Forget all the sappy, with me until we die crap. I wish I had freaken wings so that chicks would be throwing themselves at me.”  
  
Dean gestured at him. “We haven’t met. What can you do?”  
  
Max rubbed his hands together and hovered one over his knife, making it tremble and leap off the table into his palm. “I can also bend spoons and shit.”  
  
“He usually broods alone though.” Andy joked. “Except for when it’s time to eat.”  
  
Max flipped him off and Andy blew him a kiss, and the conversation continued.  
  
Castiel was not the type of person to give much thought to things like relationships. He enjoyed the friendly companionship of those around him—some more than others—but when it came to sexual attraction he could honestly say he had not felt it before. Well that was perhaps a lie. Young men would come to see him and some would be very handsome. A few would even slip him their phone numbers but in the end he’d never call. Balthazar always said he’d made the right choice because they were strangers and couldn’t be trusted. Gabriel just wanted him to have sex. “At least once before you die, bro,” is what he would say.  
  
While they were not related he did look upon Gabriel as a brother. Surely he was as annoying as one.  
  
In all honestly Castiel had a sinking suspicion that Gabriel’s crass wishes for him to copulate actually went deeper. Gabriel wanted him to  _have_  someone; someone special that cared about him unconditionally and would take care of him. He never spoke about the distant future often but when he did, it was always about what everyone would do if he wasn’t around anymore. More than anything Gabriel wanted them to be okay even if he was not around to assure it.  
  
Dinner went on for about another hour and after everyone was done eating, they sat around talking a bit more before the yawning came. It was Jake and Andy’s turn to clean up which they went about with much pouting and bickering. Ava being the sweetheart that she was stuck around to help them; it would fuel Gabriel’s clams that she had a crush on both men of course but she didn’t seem to care.  
  
“You did good.” Castiel overheard Rufus telling Dean. “Get some sleep. Tomorrow I want you to help me take a look at this old junker on a friend of mine’s property.”  
  
“Okay.” Dean rubbed at his face and yawned. He looked up at the starry night sky and smiled to himself.  
  
Castiel wished he could have captured the moment to hold onto forever. Obviously he was experiencing some small measure of peace that was not easy to come by otherwise. Yet it suited him very well. He almost hated to interrupt. “Dean?”  
  
“Hm?” He turned with sleepy green eyes.  
  
“I—did you enjoy dinner?”  _Gabriel would no doubt constitute that sentence as lame._  
  
Dean smiled and nodded. “I did. Could have used some pie though. Maybe next time I’ll make one or something.”  
  
“I think everyone would like that.”  
  
“Eh they should reserve judgment until they taste it. My cooking can be kinda hit and miss.”  
  
“I enjoyed the meal you prepared for us the other day.”  
  
“That’s ‘cause you’re one of a kind, Cas.”  
  
Castiel felt warmth bloom in the center of his chest and he smoothed his hand over it. Should he be worried that Dean’s words could affect him after so little time knowing each other?  
  
A hand at the small of his back made him jump. “Balthazar. You startled me.”  
  
His friend offered an apologetic grin. “Sorry Cassy. Shall I escort you to your trailer?”  
  
Dean lifted a brow. “Is he in danger of something out here?”  
  
Balthazar scowled. “Wouldn’t most find an ex con to be dangerous? I mean they say on the television how we’re supposed to call the cops if we run into one.”  
  
Dean jaw ticked. “Actually that’s  _escaped_  convicts. I was let out free and clear.”  
  
Balthazar waved a hand as if the particulars didn’t matter. “Yes well, be that as it may you’ll excuse me if I’m wary for myself or my friends.”  
  
Castiel tsked him. “Balthazar, Dean would never harm me. I don’t think he has it in him to  _truly_  harm anyone.”  
  
“Better safe than sorry.” Balthazar replied flippantly.  
  
“Fuck you.” Dean snapped. “You don’t know me. You don’t know anything about me.”  
  
“Yes. That is the whole point darling.” Balthazar responded. “None of us know anything about you. You could be an axe murderer but as long as you are down on your luck Gabriel will take you in.”  
  
 _This is slightly odd. I have never seen Balthazar react this way to someone who had not made me uncomfortable during a show._  “Balthazar I am fine. Besides you promised to help Gabriel dismantle the tarp just in case it rains. I am sure he would like for you to help him sooner rather than later so that you both can turn in for the night.”  
  
Balthazar appeared as if he wanted to protest but at the last minute decided against it. He patted Castiel’s back and glared at Dean as he walked off.  
  
Castiel exhaled. “I apologize for Balthazar. He is just—he is just protective of me because I was the first friend he made when he arrived here. He means no harm or offense.”  
  
“Yeah.” Dean was not swayed. “He’s still a giant bag of dicks. Anyway I’m tired so I’m going to hit the hay. Night Cas.”  
  
Castiel pursed his lips together at Dean’s retreating back. “Goodnight Dean…”   
  
“I wouldn’t worry about him if I were you.” Wiping her hands dry on a tattered dishcloth, Ava sidled up beside him. “Dean’s a strong guy.”  
  
“And his future?” Castiel didn’t wish to pry. “I am not asking you to break confidence, I am just curious if there is anything that could hurt him.”  
  
She shook her head. “Nope. Well nothing that will leave any lasting scars.” A beat. “You know out of everyone here Castiel; your future has never changed. From the day I met you it’s been consistent.” She rocked back on her wedge heels. “Until now.”  
  
He frowned at her. “Should I be alarmed?”  
  
Ava chuckled softly. “No, of course not. I only mentioned it because it amused me. It’s like you’re bouncing out of a rut.”  
  
“I see.” He muttered. “Perhaps you can give me an in depth reading when there is more time.”  
  
She nodded with a small grin. “Whatever you want.”


	5. Chapter Five

Chapter Five

There was an old saying;  _times flies when you are having fun._  Dean had never really given it much thought because while in jail he hadn’t had any fun at all. Being locked up like a caged animal didn’t suit him but sometimes neither did the outside world. He didn’t have much in book smarts and his social graces were lacking, so when he couldn’t charm someone he walked away or tired someone else. Sam was the one most people related to. He had those puppy dog eyes that he never hesitated to use to his advantage. And there was his patented bitch face that flared up whenever someone annoyed him. Never had he met a kid that could make you feel so crappy just by  _looking_  at you when you were in the wrong.  
  
Little freak.  
  
But his point was that time moved. It moved at basically the same speed—you just didn’t realize it depending on what you were doing. So before he realized it an entire month had gone by at Gabriel’s and he was turning over the tiny calendar in his trailer. Things hadn’t changed that much except for the fact that he was closer to the crazy people who called the Menagerie home.  
  
Rufus still treated him like he was more annoying than anything but he could tell the old man liked him. Maybe even appreciated all of the slack he was picking up. They didn’t have heart to hearts where they explored their feelings, but Rufus felt okay enough to talk about the loss of his family and how he’d figured he would be a lonely old man for the rest of his life. He said that Gabriel was the biggest damn clown but he also had a big heart and that was all that mattered when you were in a tough spot.  
  
Dean agreed.  
  
His friendships with Andy and Jake had blossomed because they were all young and fond of the same things, mainly food and drinking though he didn’t engage in the last too often. He liked having his wits about him. But ya know he liked Andy and Jake. He wasn’t even freaked out by Andy’s freaky mind powers anymore because he promised to stay out of his head. And it was trippy more than anything else watching Jake lift the back of a car off the ground.  
  
He sorta stayed away from Ava though as much as he could. It wasn’t that he disliked her—no nothing that dramatic—she just seriously freaked him out. She would look at him sometimes and just smile, and he felt like she already knew what he would have for lunch and whether he would like it or not. He was never rude but if he didn’t have to interact with her he didn’t.  
  
Same went for Max though that was more his doing than Dean’s. He liked his space so Dean gave it to him.  
  
Honestly he probably spent most of his free time with Castiel when Balthazar wasn’t calling him away for something or other. He’d seen Cas’ wings about a dozen times already (for free) and he still wasn’t tired of them. He didn’t think he’d  _ever_  get tired of them. Or that he would ever get over the urge to wanna grab a handful of his feathers and bury his face into them. It had gotten so bad that he had to have something in his hands to distract himself.  
  
It wasn’t just the wings though. Castiel was funny and delightfully obtuse about some things. He didn’t know much about or care for—for that matter—pop culture so many of Dean’s references often went over his head. But that just meant he’d get a cute blank look and blink until Dean explained. He was very smart however; he had a brain like a calculator and knew obscure facts to things Dean had never heard of before. He also spoke several different languages and when asked he would only say that he had an excellent home school teacher when he was younger.  
  
In truth he could make Dean feel extremely dumb but he seemed to go out of his way to try to avoid that. And that just made Dean like him more. They didn’t exactly talk about anything  _real_  though. Like Dean had no idea where he grew up or if he had any siblings. He would shut down whenever the subject of family came up, so Dean stopped hinting. He talked about Sam—who Castiel seemed interested in knowing about—but kept it mostly surfaced based. He did not wanna reveal his deep, dark secrets without getting any in return.  
  
It sounded fucked up but he had trust issues, sue him.  
  
All that aside he liked hanging out with Castiel. He liked getting him to laugh because his eyes would crinkle at the sides and his whole  _face_  would change. He liked watching him work with the people who came to see him when he was on display. He would arch his back and flare his wings, and the small crowds would gape and ooh in awe. And Castiel would just sit with a pleasant look on his face, accepting their praise with real gratitude. The only time he got un-nerved was when someone requested a prayer. Then Balthazar would step in and herd everyone out.  
  
Dean wasn’t fond of Balthazar and he knew the feeling was pretty damn mutual. The blonde made no bones about how he didn’t trust Dean or how he was sure Dean was going to rob them in their sleep. They traded harsh words on a daily basis; usually Gabriel or Castiel would step in and put a stop to it. Though Gabriel said he wouldn’t mind seeing them mud wrestle at least once.  
  
Sam had heard all about everything because he insisted that Dean call him once a week. “To make sure you are still alive,” he’d moaned petulantly. Sometimes the conversations lasted for all of five minutes but, well, it made Sam feel better so Dean wasn’t too broken up about them. And he liked hearing about how whipped his girlfriend Jessica had him.  
  
Groaning, Dean swung his legs off the bed and rolled his neck on his shoulders. He glanced to the clock and yawned, rubbing at his eyes. A firm knock sounded on his door and he pouted, dragging himself up in only black boxer-briefs to answer it. It wasn’t even noon yet!  
  
He opened the door slowly, arching a brow at the assessing look Castiel gave him from head to toe before lingering on his chest. Pink crept up the side of his smooth neck and Dean smirked, and leaned against the side of the door. “Where’s the fire, Cas?”  
  
Castiel cleared his throat. “There isn’t any fire. I am on my way to the market and I was wondering if you wished to accompany me. The earlier we go the fresher the fruits and vegetables are.”  
  
Dean thumbed behind him. “Okay just let me throw something on. Unless you wouldn’t mind me going like this?”  
  
Castiel only blinked up at him. “While I do not mind your state of undress I am sure others would see it as indecent.”  
  
Chuckling, Dean strolled inside to the small dresser by the bathroom. “This isn’t even the tip of the iceberg of indecent.” He tugged on a t-shirt and jeans. “I could always lose the underwear.”  
  
“You could. However you would most likely end up in jail. Again.” Castiel pointed out wittily. “And I fear Gabriel would not bail you out to teach you a lesson.”  
  
“He would if you asked him to.” Dean said putting on his boots. “Just tell him you need me around for cheap thrills.”  
  
“Are you a cheap thrill?”  
  
“For you I could be.”  
  
“I was under the impression that cheap equals poor quality.”  
  
“No worries Cas. I’d give you a hellava lot of bang for your buck.”  
  
Castiel laughed deeply and walked out expecting Dean to follow. Which he did after grabbing the keys to Rufus’ truck. He’d take his own car but Castiel liked the wide bed of the truck for baskets of things and bags of groceries.  
  
They’d started kinda flirting with each other, though Dean was a natural flirt anyway. And he wasn’t sure what Castiel was doing amounted actually to flirting. But they would banter back and forth, and Dean would tease him about how gorgeous he  _obviously_  thought Dean was. Castiel would never admit to it or deny it but his blushing didn’t lie.  
  
Dean  _really_  liked it when he blushed.  
  
Crawling into the pickup and turning the ignition, he waited until Castiel closed the door before backing up and pulling off. The tires bounced over the tiny rocks of the dirt path and seconds later they were on the sleek concrete road heading to their destination. Dean didn’t play the radio because it was all country stations and lacked a tape deck for his cassettes. The silence should have been awkward but it wasn’t. It was almost…comforting.  
  
He didn’t  _have_  to say anything and Cas would be okay with it. They could just ride down the road with the scenery flying by, sneaking glances at each other without having to fill the quiet at all. In Dean’s experience that did not happen a lot especially around strangers.  
  
 _But he’s not a stranger anymore, is he? Not in the ways that matter._  
  
“You know I’m not eating any of this stuff you get right?”  
  
Castiel pulled his gaze away from the window to look at him. “Yes. You will. You will also cook me something with whatever ingredients I buy.”  
  
Dean snorted. “You’re so bossy. And really you should learn to cook something yourself. What did you do before I showed up?”  
  
His brows drew together in thought. “I can prepare simple dishes. Usually I ate leftovers that the Harvelles delivered.” He wet his lips. “If—you don’t have to cook for me if you don’t want to.”  
  
Dean reached over and squeezed his thigh. He hated Cas’ sad voice. “Dude I’m just messing with you so cut the sad eyes. If I didn’t wanna do it I wouldn’t. Okay?”  
  
“Okay.” Castiel whispered. “Thank you.”  
  
Putting his hand back on the wheel, Dean grunted in response and kept driving. They reached the outdoor Farmer’s Market fifteen minutes later. The wooden stands and shelves were filled with goods from oranges to giant watermelons. Castiel looked positively thrilled with the selection. He was a nerd that way but it was always nice to see him excited. He tugged Dean from booth to booth, squeezing melons and stroking kale leaves. The only green Dean liked was the lettuce on his hamburgers and even that he could do without. But he humored Cas when he talked about juicy this or succulent that.  
  
He also really liked the way he said “juicy” and “succulent”.  
  
“Are you allergic to any fruits, Dean?”  
  
“Not that I know of.” Dean replied. “Why?”  
  
Castiel plucked a tiny piece of pineapple off a tray and held it out to him. “Taste this. It was cut just minutes ago from the most beautiful pineapple.”  
  
Dean eyed it like it might blow up before relenting and closing his lips around it, and the tips of Castiel’s fingers. Castiel’s round blue eyes stretched wide and he swallowed thickly, slowly easing his fingers out of Dean’s mouth. Dean winked at him and chewed, nodding a little. “Tastes good.”  
  
“I—well—yes.” Castiel stammered turning back to the samples. “When they are fresh they are very appealing.”  
  
Dean grinned; the tips of Cas’ ears were pink. He loved seeing him all flustered. “I guess I could make a pineapple pie or something. Cake might be a better choice.”  
  
Castiel picked up one of good size. “I shall procure us one then.” Pause. “You’ve never told me who taught you how to cook.”  
  
A sigh. “My mom taught me the basics. I’ve always liked food so…” He pointed to the cucumbers to change the subject. “Grab one or two of those. They’re the only green thing I actually like by itself.”  
  
Castiel nodded after paying for the pineapple. “Yes Dean.”  
  
Taking out his wallet, he shoved some cash into Castiel’s hands for the cucumbers. “I got these.” It was lucky the Roadhouse had an ATM or he’d have to really scrape by on what Gabriel paid. Which wasn’t that bad since room and board were free. “You know what? We should go to the grocery store after this and get some marshmallows and make some smores.”  
  
“Smores? I have never had one before.” Castiel said slowly. “Are they good?”  
  
“Hell yeah. You’re gonna love ‘em.” He wiggled his brows. “It’s all chocolate with a graham cracker and stuff. And you melt it all together either by like a fireplace or something.”  
  
“I would very much like to try one. Melted chocolate sounds delicious.”  
  
“It is. We’ll get some before heading home.”  
  
Castiel nodded again and headed for the strawberries while Dean absently followed, realizing he’d just called Gabriel’s place “home.” It wasn’t—not really—but on the month he’d been there it kinda felt like it. Surely it was warmer and safer than anywhere he’d been in a long time. The only thing missing were the floral curtains at the windows.  
  
Stifling a big yawn, he looked around to see if anyone was selling coffee. It wasn’t the usual place to find any but he figured he might get lucky. Maybe someone was selling coffee beans and had brewed some up to prove how tasty they were. He was just about to ask Castiel about it when a female voice grabbed his attention.  
  
“Castiel? Castiel is that you?” A tall and slender redhead in a long gray pencil skirt and white blouse was standing a few yards away, holding a green bag full of what looked like potatoes. “Oh! It—it is you!”  
  
Castiel was staring at her with a look of abject horror on his face as if she were some kind of terrible monster. He was paler than Dean had ever seen him, his fingers white knuckling the strap of his shoulder bag. “Anna…” His voice was low, shaken. “What—what are you doing here?”  
  
She smiled and crossed the space between them, pulling him in for a big hug. “Oh Castiel I can’t believe it’s you! This is such a wonderful surprise!” She cupped his cheeks. “Look at you! You’ve grown into such a fine young man. Praise God and all his holy light. We were all so worried about you.”  
  
He took a step back. “What are you doing here?”  
  
She continued to smile; it was kinda eerie. “A few of us are going around spreading the word of God. Zachariah has left Michael in charge at home to continue training and to look after the others. He felt like we could reach more people if we traveled a little. It has been wonderful meeting so many different people.” She sighed. “And now there’s you! I wasn’t going to come because I felt Michael needed me but now I know why Zachariah pushed me so. It was to find you and bring you home. God is great!”  
  
Castiel shook his head jerkily, putting more space between them. “While I am happy to know that you are alright Anna, I will not be returning with you. The Retreat has not been my home for many years now.”  
  
Anna waved a hand. “Castiel there is nothing to be ashamed of. Or scared of. You know that Zachariah will welcome you back into our fold with open arms. We  _all_  will. He will understand that you just lost your way. All you have to do is ask his forgiveness and things can go back to the way they were. It will be perfect.”  
  
“I did not lose my way. I chose to leave.” He explained. “I  _had_  to leave.”  
  
“Because you were tempted by the outside world. I know.” She exhaled softly. “Zachariah said as much the next day when he found your bed empty. He said you couldn’t help yourself because of your…affliction. While it was a mighty blessing it could also be a terrible curse that caused you to want things you shouldn’t want. But he had a plan for you Castiel. He was going to marry you to Rachel. Wouldn’t you have liked that? You two got along so well together and your children would have been beautiful.” Pause. “She is married to Inais now though but perhaps there is another for you. I am certain Zachariah would find you a suitable wife.”  
  
“I ran away because… “ He stopped and swallowed audibly. “I am glad that you are well but I shall not be returning with you. I never want to set foot on the Retreat grounds as long as I live.”  
  
“But it’s your home.” She said finally losing the smile. “You were born there. You grew up there. You have a duty to us and to God.”  
  
Castiel glanced away. “I continue to serve my duty to God but in my own way, away from the watchful eyes of a man like Zachariah. I have come to learn that everything he preaches about is a lie. He is a cruel man who plays on the fears of those less fortunate for monetary gain. The best decision I ever made was to run away from him and never look back.”  
  
Anna glared at him. “You will stop this at once, Castiel! The outside world has made you prideful and mean. Luckily that will be dealt with once you return home. Perhaps a few days seeking solitude with God’s word will fix your attitude.”  
  
“You’re not listening.” He looked sad. “But that’s alright. I do not expect for you to understand. I hope one day that you can truly find happiness.”  
  
He turned to leave but she latched onto his arm. “How dare you look down on me!” she yelled loudly. “You are a dirty, tainted sinner. You have squandered the amazing gift God gave you in order to live a life of decadence. You would be  _lucky_  if Zachariah even agreed to look at you again after all that you have done! You left us without saying good-bye. Just ran off in the middle of the night from your family. What sort of awful person does that to the people who took him in? Loved and cared for him when no one else would.” Her hand tightened, her nails digging into the material of his shirt. “Don’t forget what you are, Castiel, what you  _truly_  are. An abomination. Others will look upon you and  _hate_  you. Your place is with us! And if you don’t come with me right now, so help me I will—”   
  
Dean had heard enough. More than enough. He snapped to attention as if pushed and stepped between the girl and Castiel, prying her hand off his arm. “I think you need to calm the fuck down and get away from him.”  
  
Anna blinked at him. “Who are you?”  
  
He drew himself up to full height. “I’m Cas’ friend. And I don’t appreciate the shit you’re laying on him. I don’t know who you are but you need to chill.”  
  
Anna rolled her eyes. “What you want is of no consequence to me,” she sneered. “This is between me and my brother. I’m taking him home.”  
  
Dean filed away  _brother_  for later. “Yeah I don’t think he wants to go with you. And seein’ as how he’s a grown ass man who can make his own decisions, that sounds okay to me. Not to mention I just met you but I’m pretty sure you’re one egg short of a whole dozen.” He slipped his arm around Castiel’s waist tugging him into his side. “C’mon Cas let’s go. We’ll come back later when Looney Toons isn’t around.”  
  
“This isn’t over Castiel!” Anna shouted as Castiel let himself be taken away. “You will be judged! God will judge you and punish you for turning away from him! From us! You’ll see! You’ll come crawling back to us!”  
  
She continued until the truck was speeding away.  
  
~*~  
  
Dean figured that Castiel would want to be alone after  _that_  but instead he followed Dean into his trailer and sat down on the sofa where he remained quietly for thirty whole minutes while Dean puttered about the kitchen. He wanted to ask what the hell was going on but knew it wasn’t his place. Still he couldn’t help replaying what he’d heard over and over again in his mind. All signs pointed to some kinda extreme religious sort of deal which would explain why Castiel acted like a freaken Martian sometimes. But of course it wasn’t the whole picture.  
  
 _Guess that’s what he ran from, like how Ava split town because of her jacked up fiancé._  
  
 _Fuck._  
  
Scratching the side of his head, he sighed and dropped down beside Cas. “You want a drink or something? I got some Whiskey.”  
  
Castiel shook his head. “No thank you.” He braced his elbows on his knees and dropped his head into his hands. “I am sorry you had to witness that, Dean.”  
  
Dean scowled. “Don’t even go there, man. You don’t have anything to apologize for. We’ve all got that one family member that we pretend we don’t know in public. Mine is my cousin Christian. Dude’s an ass hat.”  
  
Castiel smiled, just a little. “Anna is—she’s not my true sister. Not by blood.”  
  
Dean wanted to know. He was  _dying_  to know but, “You don’t gotta tell me if you don’t want to.”  
  
“I know.” He said quietly. “I want to. Gabriel and Balthazar already know about my past. And—and we have become friends this past month. Yes?”  
  
“Hell yeah.”  
  
“Then I want to tell you. I am not sure if Ava or Andy know; perhaps with their talents but they’ve never said anything so neither have I. Jake and Max are none the wiser when it comes to the full story.” He leaned back and fixed Dean with his ocean colored baby blues. “My father was never interested in being a father so my mother went to friends after she found out she was pregnant. Her best friend Daphne convinced her that she would be well taken care of at this place called the Holy Retreat; a religious institution. There she and Daphne became members and lived by the rules and codes of their leader, Zachariah.” He paused as if in memory and then continued. “She died in childbirth and I was raised by the other members of the Retreat. My life was not a bad one growing up. I helped with the daily chores. I was taught very well by private tutors like the other children, and we learned about God and the bible. Things were alright until I hit puberty and my wings appeared.”  
  
“Naturally Zachariah did not cast me out. I assumed he would but he assured me that they were a blessing—a true gift from God. I was thirteen at the time and I believed him. He and the others were all I had ever known after all. At first they didn’t treat me any differently. I was allowed to be a child, to play with my friend Rachel and continue my chores.” Castiel frowned deeply, his expression murderous. “And then one day Zachariah pulled me aside and he told me that I should use my gifts to help people. I didn’t know what he meant since wings were just wings, but he told me he knew what to do. That God had told him. So he began to let people into our commune to see me. I was to sit and listen to their problems with my wings out, and then I was to lay my hands upon them in prayer. This went on for  _years_. He would tell them that I could heal their ailments in exchange for a  _donation_. He told some that it would take more than one session so they would return again and again.”  
  
He bowed his head in shame. “I can still remember some of their faces. People who had terminal illnesses, lost relatives, missing limbs…some were going blind.”  
  
Dean bit the inside of his cheek hard. He wasn’t touchy feely by any means but he slipped his arm around Castiel’s shoulder for support. “That Zach dude sounds like a real asshole.”  
  
“He is.” Castiel whispered. “I don’t know why I continued to be used in such a way. I think I honestly thought at the time that it was what God wanted. Everyone told me it was. Anna, Michael, Raphael—even Rachel. And the people would just—they would just look so happy afterwards. Like a burden had been lifted from their souls.” There were tears in his voice but he held them in. “My wings grew with me and by the time I was eighteen they were much like they are now. One night just before bed Zachariah came to my room and asked me to pray with him. It wasn’t unusual; he often requested that I pray with him. We were on our knees, praying, when he started talking about me. He said God had given me to him because he was such a devoted follower.”  
  
Silence.  
  
“He said that because he had abstained until I was of age he could finally have me. I had no idea what he was talking about. I was foolish and too trusting of him. He started rubbing my back and when I tried to pull away, he grabbed me. Pinned me underneath him and tried to remove my pants, all the while telling me how I had been chosen. How I was going to help him become a Prophet. How I was going to,” he grit his teeth. “Bear his superior offspring. I think he was surprised when I fought back. I kicked and bit and hit until it was either let me go or be bruised in the morning. He told me I would learn to obey him and left. I ran away an hour later with nothing but the clothes on my back and the shoes on my feet.”  
  
Dean’s jaw was clenching so hard it was becoming painful. He didn’t know this Zachariah but he wanted to beat the living shit out of him. Maybe even choke the bastard until he was blue in the fucking face. Until he was gasping for air and sputtering. Until he was dead. “Cas…”  
  
“I met Gabriel two days later and have been with him ever since.” Castiel released a long, slow breath. “I had hoped to have put them behind me forever but seeing Anna today reminded me that they are still out there somewhere. That the Retreat isn’t an institute but a Cult where Zachariah rules supreme.”  
  
“Fuck ‘em!” Dean exclaimed, trying and failing to rein in his anger. “Seriously Cas you don’t need to even think about their brand of bullshit anymore. You are smart and funny and—and they’re dicks! And that Zachariah douche bag should be in jail for what he tried to do to you. Or worse six feet under. I swear to God if I ever run into that bastard I am punching him in the fucken throat so hard his heart stops.”  
  
Castiel rubbed the back of Dean’s neck soothingly. “I am touched that you seem to care so strongly about me, Dean.”  
  
Dean sighed leaning into the touch without conscious thought. “Well, yeah. I mean you’re awesome and you’ve been nothing but good to me since I got here. It makes me mad to think of someone trying to take advantage of you. I don’t like when people fuck with my friends. Especially the ones that aren’t bothering anybody and shit. They should have been taking care of you not trying to…” He made a tight fist and punched the cushion. “I’m glad you got away from that shit.”  
  
“So am I.” Castiel groaned. “I should go tell Gabriel what has transpired. He would wish to know.” He got up slowly and Dean walked him to the door. “I am sorry we did not get the ingredients for your smores.”  
  
Dean snickered. “I’ll go back by myself as soon as I get some coffee in me. We’re gonna get some smores in you tonight or die trying!”  
  
“Well then I very much hope that you get some.” He laughed; his temperament seemingly lighter. “Thank you for coming to my rescue, Dean. You truly are a good man.”  
  
Dean knew his cheeks were red, he could feel his freaken freckles burning. He didn’t reply, just nodded and watched Castiel be on his way. He didn’t take compliments well because, to be honest, he wasn’t used to them. Even back at the garage his boss Bobby Singer never told him when he was doing a good job. But he was like Rufus; he buried his emotions under too much bourbon and grunts with the occasional moment of emotion. Dean got that Bobby liked him though just like he got that Rufus was fond of him too.  
  
Still his last true compliment had been when he was fifteen. From his mom.  
  
~*~  
  
The night Castiel met Gabriel he was seriously contemplating going back to the Retreat. He’d been on his own—for the first time ever—for two whole days that felt like a hundred. He was cold and hungry, sleeping inside of the bus terminal with another homeless man that obviously hadn’t had a bath in weeks. Deep down he knew what Zachariah had tried to do to him was wrong but his brain had started to rationalize the situation. Saying perhaps it was God’s will. Perhaps God did want him to belong to Zachariah in mind and body. He already had such sinful feelings for other men; maybe being with Zachariah was the right thing to do.  
  
It made him sick though, just the  _thought_  of Zachariah touching him and his wings. But he was sure he had no other choice.  
  
And then Gabriel had driven up on his loud motorcycle seeking directions, taken one look at Castiel and proclaimed that he was skin and bones. That he was going to come with him to get food because he hated to see anyone hungry. Castiel was wary to trust him but Gabriel— _Gabriel_ —proved to be nothing but trust worthy. He took care of Castiel and taught him how to take care of himself. Talked him into helping him open his Menagerie for other “special people” that needed a place to go. Now Gabriel was closer to him than anyone at the Retreat had ever been.  
  
Seeing Anna again after so long made his heart tighten painfully in his chest. Once upon a time they had played together and sung together. Now her very presence made him want to vomit. She was still spouting the same tired drivel that Zachariah taught. However he was surprised that she actually thought he would return with her. It made him wonder if the others spoke of him, what they said and how often they said it. A part of him wanted to reach out to her and try to make her see reason but he knew it would never work.  
  
She followed the word of the Holy Retreat and nothing else.  
  
“Thank you God for letting me escape that place when I did.” He said aloud to the emptiness of his trailer. “At times I lose my faith in you but I never question your existence.”  
  
Pulling his knees up to his chest, he rested his chin on them and sighed. The situation earlier with Anna weighed heavily on his mind causing a headache to throb at his temples, but a small amount of good had came out of it. Dean had stood up for him. In the month of getting to know him better, Castiel had come to find Dean funny, sarcastic and extremely humble to the point of being self deprecating. He was family oriented and yet lacked a family which appeared to cause him great distress at times. He didn’t talk about his past but Castiel understood that completely. Sometimes it was very painful to let someone else in. Someone new.  
  
But now Dean knew his biggest secret and it apparently made him even more protective. Castiel had honestly never thought of himself as something to be protected, wings or not. It made him smile…repeating Dean’s words over and over in his head. It was nice knowing Dean would stand beside him if he ever needed him to. That he could ask for his help and not be rebuffed.  
  
With as amazing and handsome as Dean was, it was sort of a miracle that he was still single. Jo tried—she  _tried_ —at nearly every turn to catch his eye but for whatever reason Dean was not interested in her beyond a platonic level. Their pool rematch resulted in Dean being victorious so there was never any date. Thankfully. Jo had not given up though; there was a chance she never would. She was entitled to keep trying of course. Just like Dean was entitled to keep rejecting her.  
  
“Cassy?” Balthazar knocked once before opening the door and sticking his head into the room. “Are you decent?”  
  
“Aren’t you supposed to wait for my answer before you come in?” Castiel inquired with a smirk. “However yes I am.”  
  
Balthazar smiled and stepped inside, closing the door behind him. “Gabriel told me what happened when you went o the market this morning. Are you alright, dear?”  
  
Castiel sighed. “I am better, I think. It was strange seeing Anna again. She said a lot of hurtful things but I understand that she has been effectively brainwashed by Zachariah.”  
  
Balthazar sat down beside him. “What are they even doing away from the Retreat?”  
  
He shrugged. “She said they were spreading the word of God. Who really knows what is going on now…”  
  
“I should have been there to help you.” Balthazar grumbled. “I do not like the thought of you being accosted by that woman alone.”  
  
Castiel bit his bottom lip. “I was not alone. Dean was with me.”  
  
Balthazar huffed and rolled his eyes. “I do not see how that marmoset was of any help.”  
  
It was obvious to anyone that Balthazar did not like Dean. He claimed it was because he was an ex con but Castiel wasn’t certain if he believed that. It wasn’t like Balthazar Dupree had lived a life of purity and virtue before coming to stay at Gabriel’s. In fact five years ago he was on his way to being homeless after having spent his entire inheritance on expensive alcohol and high priced escorts. If not for Gabriel he would probably be living under an overpass in a cardboard box. So it made little sense for Balthazar to judge anyone else for their past mistakes.  
  
“Actually Dean stood up for me and took me away before it could escalate any further.” Castiel explained. “He is not the horrible person you perceive him to be. Besides he stole a car…he didn’t harm anyone.”  
  
Balthazar fixed him with a look much like you would give an unruly kitten. “Cassy, I love you but you  _do_  tend to try to see the best in people. Like those cretins that threatened to set you on fire or that woman that tried to mount you during a show. You excused their behavior just like you are excusing what Dean did.”  
  
Castiel huffed. “Dean is  _vastly_  different than those people. They were malicious and sexually frustrated. He is neither of those things. Furthermore he has been nothing but cordial to me since the day we met. I think you would like him if you would just give him a chance.”  
  
Dragging his palms along his jeans, Balthazar stood abruptly. “Don’t think I have missed the way you look at him, Castiel. Or how much time you have been spending with him. You are attracted to him.”  
  
“I…” The denial was there on the tip of his tongue but he swallowed it down, not wanting to lie to his good friend. “He is an attractive young man. I am sure Joanna Beth would agree with me. Perhaps even Gabriel as well. And Dean is agreeable and personable. He makes me laugh.”  
  
“But only you and Jo want to fuck him.” Balthazar replied matter of fact. “Of course you are allowed to do whatever you wish, Cassy, but we both know that Dean is not worthy of someone like you. You are an educated, talented, beautiful man and you deserve someone who compliments you. Not some…high school drop out that turned to a life of crime when he didn’t have anything better to do. He won’t appreciate you. He’ll use you and then leave.” Pursing his lips, he leaned down and kissed Castiel on the forehead. “Forgive me. I am still upset over what happened to you earlier with Anna. I am going to go make you your favorite smoothie and then we’ll talk more.”  
  
He was gone before Castiel could reply.


	6. Chapter Six

Chapter Six

Dean appreciated old music. He’d never really got into the new stuff—some of it was okay—but he’d rather burst his eardrums than ever listen to the superficial bubble gum pop or whining boy groups that Sam liked. He wanted his music to tell a story or at least make it feel like his skin was vibrating while listening to it. However he had no issues listening to Rufus’ tunes from his small black radio as he tried to get his latest car up and running; a 1970 rusty Ford Torino Cobra. Marvin Gaye’s  _Distant Lover_  crooned out of the tiny speakers and he had to admit, Marvin had a voice filled with so much soul that it was brimming over.  
  
The car though had seen better days. The bright red paint was peeling and nearly brown, the windows tainted with weirdly colored stains. Whoever owned it didn’t treat it very well and it kinda made him sad. He could  _never_  imagine letting his Baby fall into this kinda shape. He nearly popped a blood vessel if she made a noise he didn’t recognize.  
  
His light gray shirt was covered in dark spots of grease that also smudged his forehead and neck. It was underneath his fingernails and in the shell of his left ear but he didn’t give a shit. He felt good. And he would feel even better when he turned the ignition and heard the purr of the Torino’s engine. His mind kept drifting back to that morning though and that Anna chick. The hot ones always turned out to be crazy.  
  
Honestly he couldn’t imagine growing up that way. Sure his childhood had been cut short and fucked up but at least he’d had freedom. At least his brain hadn’t been washed by some fucktard wanting to be Jesus or whatever. You heard on the news about cults and religious leaders going too far, but it was different actually  _knowing_  someone who’d escaped that kinda shit. When he thought about what could have happened to Castiel if he hadn’t ran…if he’d stayed and let that asshole…it made him so angry he could have taken a crowbar to something.  
  
Castiel was—he was—well he was too goddamn good for someone like Zachariah to mess with. But that was usually how it went. Good people got shafted and bad people just kept on going. He knew that from experience. But he’d never been in that situation before so thank goodness for small miracles he guessed. Not that people hadn’t said some fucked up shit to him when he was younger and hanging out with guys he shouldn’t have been around instead of in school. Old dudes in business suits that thought just because you were loitering on a corner you automatically wanted to suck their wrinkled dicks for cash. Yeah they could have used the money back then but Dean never went that low.  
  
Hell he would have rather sold drugs.  
  
Frowning, he worked the wrench in his hand hard against the tight bolt, his boots scuffling on the ground for leverage. He hated thinking about the past. Back to Cas. Cas was a tough little nerdy dude. He’d stood there and glared daggers at Anna while she railed into him but you would have never known how affected he was by what she was saying. He had one of the best poker faces Dean had ever seen. The quiet ones often surprised you and Dean wanted to see Castiel explode just once. Rain wrath and shit down onto someone’s head that deserved it.  
  
He realized he was grinning like an idiot at the mental picture and snorted. The  _last_  thing he needed to be thinking about was Castiel’s blue eyes flashing in anger or how hot it would be. There was no way Rufus wouldn’t notice if he popped an erection when he slid from under the car, and then he would think cars made Dean hot in all the wrong ways.  
  
Sitting in his lawn chair with his feet up on a small table, Rufus sipped from a glass of ice cold water. “You done yet?”  
  
Dean lowered his arm so that he could see his legs. “Are you kidding me? Shape this car is in I might never be done.”  
  
Rufus grunted. “Less yapping, more working. I thought you liked doing this sort of thing?”  
  
Rolling out from underneath the Torino, Dean pulled himself up. “I do but even I know a lost cause.”  
  
“So you can’t get it running?”  
  
“I didn’t say that.”  
  
Rufus gave him the finger.   
  
“I love you too.” Dean joked, rolling his neck on his shoulders. “Feel free to continue sitting there like a King while I do all the heavy lifting.”  
  
“Well that  _is_  why Gabe hired you.” Rufus replied easily. “You’re younger than I am. It doesn’t hurt you to put your back into it.”  
  
Dean was not so sure about that. He was just about to voice his “concerns” when Castiel popped out of Gabriel’s trailer and made his way over, handing Dean a cold can of soda. “You’re all sweaty,” he said by way of greeting.  
  
Taking the can from him, Dean popped the top. “Yeah that happens sometimes. Thanks.” He gulped down a few satisfying mouthfuls. “At least someone cares if I get dehydrated or not.”  
  
Rufus just blinked at him. “You whine like a little girl you know.”  
  
Dean laughed. He’d miss the old bastard when he was gone. “Oh so I got all the stuff we need to make smores with. We can have them for dessert if you want.”  
  
Castiel was pleased. “I would very much like that, yes.” He reached up and rubbed at a smear of dirt on Dean’s cheek. “Your lashes are so long.”  
  
Dean chuckled; he really liked Cas and his random self. “Good genes I guess.”  
  
Rufus snorted. “Get a damn room you two. After the car is fixed.”  
  
Castiel blushed and lowered his hand. “Gabriel has given me the night off because of what happened with Anna. I…I would very much like to spend the evening helping you with your duties. If I may?”  
  
“Sure.” Dean smiled warmly at him. “I’d love the company.”  
  
“Hey.” Rufus stood and pointed to the road where a black van was turning off and onto their path. “Looks like we got visitors. Most people round here know our hours and they are on the flyers. Must be lost.”  
  
The van came to a stop beside Dean’s car. There was silence for a second and then the side door was sliding open with several people getting out. A tall fat balding man crawled out of the passenger seat wearing an expensive looking suit. He adjusted his tie and looked around, nose high in the air.  
  
Castiel inhaled sharply at the sight of him and Dean knew right then there was going to be trouble. Well, bring it on.  
  
“What’s wrong, Cas?” He asked watching as Baldy and his friends crept closer. “You know these chuckleheads?”  
  
“Castiel.” Baldy opened his arms wide. “Look at you. How long has it been? Ten, eleven years?” His eyes trailed from Castiel’s shoes up to his face. “You have grown into a fine young man. I almost didn’t believe Anna when she said that she had run into you. However while at a gas station I saw this…” He held up a flyer with big bold letters talking about an  _angel_. “It must be fate.”  
  
Castiel’s mouth was set in a thin line, his brows narrowed. There was rage in his eyes. “Leave. Now.” His voice was deeper than Dean had ever heard it, as if he was putting every ounce of fury he had into it.   
  
It wasn’t until he noticed Anna lurking in the background that he caught on to why that was.  
  
“Mind your manners, Castiel.” Anna frowned at him. “Zachariah is still a superior.”  
  
At the mention of his name, Dean was quick to connect the dots. “Rufus, go get Gabriel.” There must have been something in his tone because Rufus didn’t argue, instead opting to do as he asked. “You’ve got a lot of nerve showing your face around here.”  
  
Zachariah smiled at him. “Ah you must be Castiel’s  _friend_. Anna mentioned you.” Pause. “Is this the type of person you left us for, Castiel? I don’t even know him but I can detect the sin on him. He reeks of it. Who knows the kind of things he has filled your poor head with. It’s lucky we found you when we did.”  
  
Castiel took a deep breath. “You are the last person I ever wished to see. I would say I am surprised you’d even dare to come but I know your hubris knows no bounds.”  
  
“The outside world has made you mouthy.” Grumbled a fierce looking black man with huge eyes and the dark haired man next to him smirked. “Zachariah deserves your respect.”  
  
“He deserves a broken nose.” Dean growled.  
  
Anna huffed. “Castiel are you really going to let this man continue to talk to Zachariah in such a way? Who is he to you anyway?  _We_  are your family. Raphael and Virgil are your brothers.  _I_  am your sister. We care about you.”  
  
Castiel licked his lips. “I appreciate your concern but I am fine. I will not lie; over the years I have thought about all of you and wondered how you were doing. I am glad you are all healthy. But I have a new family now and they take very good care of me. Furthermore I have learned how to take care of myself as well.”  
  
Zachariah chuckled darkly. “A family of sinners and heathens? My how far you have fallen. And am I to understand that you are using your considerable gifts for profit? God gave you those wings, Castiel.” He stepped closer. “I am sure he would be appalled with what you are doing with them.”  
  
Dean exhaled angrily like a bull ready to charge. “They’re his and he can do whatever the fuck he likes with them!” He was shaking so hard with hatred, with the urge to slam his fist into Zachariah’s face that he nearly missed Castiel’s hand on his shoulder.  
  
“Ooh outside voices!” Gabriel hurried over with Rufus and Balthazar tagging behind him. “What’s going on here? Whatever you’re selling we don’t want any.”  
  
Zachariah looked smug. “We have come to take Castiel home. He belongs with us.”  
  
Gabriel lifted a brow. “I think he’s right where he needs to be, actually.”  
  
Apparently losing his patience, Zachariah sauntered right up to them. “Now you listen to me you disgusting vermin. I don’t know what kind of lies you have put inside of his head but Castiel will be returning home with us. He belongs with us. For eighteen years I clothed him and fed him and taught him the word of God. I refuse to let you devils condemn him to hell for your own selfish desires.”  
  
“Well you’d know all about those, wouldn’t you?” Balthazar mocked. “Selfish desires and trying to pin someone down.”  
  
Zachariah’s face twitched. “Raphael? Virgil? Put Castiel in the van. I’m anxious to get back home to begin his training again.”  
  
The black man dubbed Raphael stalked up beside Zachariah. He reached for Castiel and found his hand smacked away by Balthazar. “I uh, I wouldn’t do that if I were you sweetheart.”  
  
“Enough of this foolishness!” Zachariah shouted. He grabbed the collar of Castiel’s shirt and  _pulled_ , and that is when all hell broke loose.  
  
Dean stopped resisting the itch to punch Zachariah and did it, sending him stumbling back with blood gushing out of his nose and down his chin. He cried out in pain and ducked behind Anna, shoving her away when she tried to tend to him.  
  
Raphael lunged at Dean but Balthazar was quicker. He tackled him to the ground and the two began to scuffle, clawing and grappling with each other in the dirt. Virgil was on Dean before he could blink, landing a solid hit to his jaw, his ring opening a cut on Dean’s cheek. Dean ignored the small twinge of discomfort and hit him back, slamming his knee into Virgil’s stomach, making the other man double over. He struck him across the face and felt his knuckles tighten at the contact so he did it again, and again when Virgil regained his footing.  
  
“You barbarian!” Anna shrieked and jumped on Dean’s back, her long nails digging painfully into the side of his neck.  
  
Dean cursed and rolled her off of him. “Lady I’ve never hit a woman in my life but if you try that again, I’ll lay you out if I have to!” He turned just in time for Virgil to toss dirt in his face. “Fuck!”  
  
Virgil cuffed him in the eye and latched onto his shoulders, shoving him violently into the side of the Torino. He bounced off of it like a rubber ball, landing on his knees on the ground. He felt Virgil’s fingers dig into his scalp to bash his head into the door when suddenly they were gone. His eyes were watering and burning but he forced them open just in time to see Castiel spin Virgil away from him and punch him in the mouth, splitting his lip.  
  
He blocked Virgil’s uppercut with ease and jammed his fingers into his throat, making him gag and choke. Then he kicked him towards the van, landing his foot directly into his chest. Virgil looked as if he wanted to get up and continue the fight but gunfire stopped everyone cold.  
  
“Ya know I don’t like guns. They’re loud and they make a mess and they make your hands all icky.” Gabriel’s words were amusing but his face was a mask of stone. He gestured with a small black pistol. “I’m a lover not a fighter. I also however cheat, hence the gun. Now I seriously think it’s time for you muttonheads to get the fuck off my property before my finger gets itchy.”  
  
Raphael spit out blood and crawled off Balthazar where he had gotten the upper hand and lumbered over to join Virgil.   
  
Zachariah eyed them all with total and utter contempt, his nose already bruised and swollen. “You’re all going to Hell! Each and every one of you! You will burn in the eternal fires like the sinners you are!” His seedy eyes focused on Castiel. “And you. You dirty,  _filthy_  little freak! I knew there was something wrong with you the moment I laid eyes on you but out of the goodness of my heart I brought you into the fold. I knew there was a sickness inside of you—that you lusted for other boys but I overlooked it. I let you stay with us. I was foolish to think I could ever help a damned soul like you. Mark my words Castiel, you  _will_ suffer for what you are. More than anyone else.”  
  
They piled back into the van next, wounded but righteous. Minutes later they were driving away hopefully to be never seen again.  
  
Dean slumped, resting his head back against one of the Torino tires. He was going to be sore later, he could feel it. He smiled when Castiel kneeled in front of him with Rufus’ water, pouring it into his fingers to dab at Dean’s eyes to wash out the grits.  
  
Gabriel sighed and handed his gun back to Jake. Dean hadn’t even noticed when the others had showed up. “Thanks for fetching that for me. Well today was fun. Backyard wrestling and what not.”  
  
“I thank all of you for sticking up for me.” Castiel said softly. “You are truly the best family I have ever had.”  
  
Balthazar sat up slowly. “No problem, Cassy. Ah…” He rubbed at his red neck. “Come darling, help patch me up. I’m throbbing all the way down to my fingernails.” When Castiel hesitated, he pouted. “Are you really going to leave me in pain?”  
  
“It’s okay. I’ll help Muhammad Ali here.” Rufus gestured to Dean. “You go on with Bal before he starts crying or something.”  
  
Castiel locked eyes with Dean but nodded. He handed him the water and made his way over to Balthazar, pulling him up gingerly before helping him towards his trailer.  
  
Rufus wasn’t as gentle with Dean—naturally—but he took him over into the shade and started cleaning him up with the first aid kit Ava brought over. “You got some moves in you.”  
  
“Yeah well, dad was a Marine once upon a time.” He grimaced. “What he didn’t teach me I learned for myself.”  
  
“You did the right thing helping Castiel out. I mean he probably could have taken on all three by himself but I’m sure it meant a lot to him.” Rufus wiped at his cut with an alcohol damp cotton ball. “Guy’s smart as a whip but he ain’t seen much of the world. And what he did see wasn’t very kind to him. I think it’s nice how you’ve taken to him.”  
  
Dean shrugged and his ribs pulsed. “He’s a cool dude.”  
  
Rufus yanked the strips off small butterfly Band-Aids and pasted them over Dean’s cut. “Heh. Okay I think you need to ice the rest of you for while. Go take a nap or something. The car can wait a bit.” He patted his shoulder. “And take some pain killers.”  
  
Nodding, Dean trudged off wordlessly to his small mobile home and inside, closing the door slowly behind him. He went into the bathroom to the small medicine cabinet to find a bottle of aspirin that didn’t look too bad. He took three with water from the tap and then stretched out on the sofa, curling inwardly. He didn’t mind fighting for someone that needed help. He hated the thought of anyone being picked on or taken advantage of. And as pathetic as it was he was used to dealing with the consequences alone. It’s just…well…it was lonely.  
  
Even when Sam was  _there_  it was lonely because Sammy was smart and outgoing, and people liked being around him. While attractive and charismatic, Dean didn’t exactly have lasting relationships. He could rock a one night stand like nobody’s business, but a relationship was a different matter all together. People just didn’t seem to take him seriously. They assumed he wasn’t that kinda guy. That he was only in it for the fun so nothing else mattered. To this day he couldn’t tell you where any of his old so called friends were.  
  
And then you had someone like Castiel that was so freaken extraordinary that people would  _fight_  to be around him. To have him in their lives.  
  
No one had ever fought for Dean before. He had a sinking feeling no one ever would.  
  
~*~  
  
By the time Dean woke up the sun had set and a few stars were slipping out into the night sky. He groaned as his joints popped and ached, his knuckles red and his side bruised. He forced himself up and to the bathroom to see his reflection, shrugging at what he saw. He didn’t look too bad really; no black eye but the skin around the cut on hi s cheek was purpling. A small cut rested on his nose and on his neck were four long angry looking whelps from sharp female nails. He was sorer than anything else.  
  
“You could use a drink.” He told the mirror. “Eh, and a shower.”  
  
Fifteen minutes later he was freshly washed and dressed, and heading out towards his car. He wanted more than the Whiskey in his cabinets. Not to mention Jo would probably end up trying to make him feel better or be totally sarcastic, neither of which he minded at the moment. He wasn’t blind or stupid; he could tell she had a crush on him. Although he didn’t feel the same way it never hurt to bask in that glow for a while. He wasn’t usually that kinda guy but hell, he sorta needed it tonight.  
  
Unlocking the Impala’s driver side door, he looked up when someone called his name. He didn’t care who did what tonight, he just needed to get away for a while and if Gabriel couldn’t understand that, fuck him. He’d leave for California in the morning.  
  
It wasn’t Gabriel though. It was Castiel. “You are leaving. Do you plan to return?”  
  
Dean said, “Yeah. I’m just going to the Roadhouse for a drink or something. Figured it might help clear my head.”  
  
Castiel’s expression turned forlorn. “I suppose Jo will be happy to ply you with food and drink until you feel better.”  
  
“How’s Balthazar?” He asked with more edge necessary. “You fix him up?” Okay so maybe he was a little bitter over that. Either way it was stupid. Balthazar was one of Cas’ closest friends so of course he’d want to make sure he was okay.  
  
“He will make a full recovery.” Castiel replied solemnly. There was silence for a minute and then, “I suppose I should let you go… Gabriel decided not to open tonight so you will not be needed for work.”  
  
Pinching the bridge of his nose and wincing, Dean met Castiel’s piercing gaze head on. “You wanna go for a drive?”  
  
Castiel smiled. “Yes.” He crossed to the passenger side and climbed in after the door was unlocked.  
  
Dean turned the key in the ignition and the engine roared to life, purring happily at finally getting some attention. He stroked a hand across the dashboard, eased the car into gear and pressed down on the accelerator. The road was dark and quiet with no other vehicles at all. Every once and a while they’d pass an 18Wheeler or beat up pickup truck and that was mostly when they got closer to actual civilization like the gas station and diner. Dean made a point to stop at said gas station for a six pack before letting Castiel direct him to some dead end dirt road where a sprawling field stretched out before them with one lone giant tree.  
  
They got out and perched on the hood, Dean sipping one of the beers while Castiel gazed up at the round full moon.  
  
Castiel broke the quiet first. “Thank you again for helping with Zachariah. I am sorry for what Virgil did to you. He and Raphael have always been quick to anger.”  
  
Dean kicked at a rock. “I’ll live.” Pause. “Gotta say though it was bad ass the way you kicked that dude in the chest. Who taught you to fight anyway?”  
  
“Uriel. And Balthazar a little too.” He glanced at his hands. “I am not much for violence but it’s nice to be able to take care of myself. I was weak when Gabriel found me. I wouldn’t have lasted long on my own.”  
  
“I think you would have done okay.” Dean dragged a hand over his face. “You know I’m glad I got to hit that son of a bitch Zachariah. When you first told me what he did I wished for it to be honest. I think he’ll remember me for a while.”  
  
Castiel chuckled. “Oh yes I am sure he will. I feel a sense of closure now that the whole thing is over with. At the time—for a brief moment—I was afraid. It was like I was eighteen again and helpless.” His head turned and he stared at the side of Dean’s face. “And then you were in front of me practically trembling with rage on my behalf. There was a fierce protectiveness in you—like a warrior or a hunter—that I didn’t know you possessed. I don’t usually say this but I found your wrath to be beautiful. I was pleased that you thought enough of me to get so upset.”  
  
Dean turned the bottle up and drained the liquid inside before sitting it empty on the ground. “You gonna go all chick on me like Sammy does?”  
  
“There is nothing wrong with admitting you have emotions, Dean.” Castiel chastised tentatively. “They don’t make you weak.”  
  
A harsh laugh ripped itself from his chest before he could stop it. “They damn sure don’t make you strong.” Sniffing, he shook his head. “I guess I owe you my fucked up story, huh?”  
  
“You do not have to tell me anything you don’t wish to tell me.”  
  
“I know. The funny thing is though? I kinda wanna tell you.”  
  
“All right.”  
  
Dean tapped his fingers restlessly on his jeans before speaking. “So, fuck. I haven’t talked about this in years. Okay.” He cleared his throat; he could get through this. He’d gotten through so much more. “My uh, my mom died when I was fifteen. Our house caught on fire—faulty wiring or some shit—and she was trapped inside. My dad tried to get her out but he couldn’t and he wouldn’t let me go back in with him. I had to stay outside and make sure Sam was okay. He just—dad wasn’t the same after she died. None of us were I guess. She was a really—she was really—we didn’t realize how amazing she was until she was gone.”  
  
He dug his nails into the palm of his hand to hold himself together. “Afterwards things just kinda fell apart. Dad started drinking pretty much full time. He couldn’t hold down a steady job so we moved around a lot. Someone had to look out for Sammy though, ya know? He was only eleven at the time” He sighed, trying and failing to hold back tears. It was like a dam had been torn open. “So I did what I could…which was everything. I got him up for school and I—I cooked his meals. I would steal from dad so that he wouldn’t blow all his money on hooch, so that we could eat.” Pause. “I did okay I guess. Anyway Sam got older and he and dad started arguing all the time. I’m talking full on; up in each other’s faces kinda fights. I’d break ‘em up and Sam would call me a kiss ass, and dad would be all  _no son of mine is gonna tell me what to do…_.”   
  
Castiel covered Dean’s hand with his own. “It must have been very difficult for you.”  
  
“I think it was worse for Sam. He started acting out and hanging with the wrong kinda people. That’s how his dumbass ended up in trouble all those times. I tried to keep him straight but I was just his brother and he needed his mom.” A tear rolled down his cheek. “He stole shit and vandalized stuff but he went to school every day because he knew college would be his way out. He was fourteen when dad died; car accident. I had a few months left in school but I dropped out and got a job to support us. I thought—I thought with dad dead and it just being us he would stick close to home but he graduated high school and left for Stanford. I didn’t see much of him until he came home that summer with Ruby.”  
  
“And got into trouble.” Castiel added. “Oh, Dean.”  
  
“I’m okay.” He wiped his face quickly. “Sammy had it rough. He should have had a normal family but instead he just had me. I tried to give him a normal life but I failed I guess.”  
  
“No. You didn’t.” Castiel was frowning. “You took care of your brother. You basically raised him. Other young men your age wouldn’t have stepped up to the challenge but you did. You’re remarkable.”  
  
Dean flushed. “I’m really not, Cas. I should have done more. I mean the kid lost his mom. Dad and Sam, they loved her so much.”  
  
Castiel tilted his head. “So did you. Were you even allowed to grieve her before you took her place?”  
  
“I don’t know. I tried not to think about it.” He replied honestly. “Talking about her upset dad and Sam so…” A beat. “She was beautiful though.” Sliding off the car, he jogged around to the trunk and popped it open, pulling out an old shoebox. “Here these are a few of the pictures we managed to save from the house.”  
  
Castiel removed the lid slowly and began sifting through the photos. He smiled at the happy faces of two little boys with a lovely blonde woman and dark haired man. “You have your mother’s eyes.”  
  
Dean’s voice was barely above a whisper as he admitted, “I miss her a lot. Dad too. We were so happy before that goddamn fire. I used to wonder how our lives would have turned out if it had not happened. Maybe I’d have made something out of myself instead of being a high school drop out with a GED and not much else.”  
  
Placing the box delicately on the ground, Castiel grabbed Dean’s hands and squeezed them. “You are so hard on yourself, Dean. You don’t think you deserve to be praised or to have nice things but you do. Why can’t you see how much you are worth? I can. I’m sure Rufus and the others can as well. You helped two strangers on the road when you didn’t have to. You do whatever menial task Gabriel asks of you without complaint even though what he pays is not much. And you were willing to fight to keep me safe.” His slender fingers caressed Dean’s cheek. “I think your parents would be very proud of you. You’ve grown into a fine young man basically on your own. One day—if he doesn’t already—Sam will realize all that you have done for him and he’ll repay your kindness. I know that I am honored to call you my friend.”  
  
“Jesus…” Dean averted his eyes. That kinda admiration hadn’t been placed on his head since his mom was alive. Since she used to tell him how smart he was and how he could do anything he put his mind to. Since she used to help him with his homework and make him special pies for getting good grades. “I—thanks Cas.”  
  
“You’re welcome. And whenever there is something weighing heavily on your mind I do not want you to hesitate coming to me. I will always listen.”  
  
“Even when Balthazar is whining for you?”  
  
Castiel smirked. “Yes.”  
  
Dean snorted but he had to admit he felt a little better. He’d been carrying all of that bullshit locked up inside for a long time, only thinking about it when he was feeling especially low, which was way too often. While he still felt that he could have done more for Sam, it was nice to hear someone realize that he’d been just a kid as well. His childhood ended when their mother died. Life was bad for all of them; there was no question about that. But it had sort of got continuously worse for Dean. He didn’t just lose his parents; he lost his brother as well.  
  
Blowing out a long steadying breath, he decided to revel in the high he was currently feeling because it wouldn’t last. It never did. He glanced to Castiel who was sitting quietly again, the moonlight casting a bluish halo onto his head. He looked so damn peaceful and, fuck, gorgeous. His eyes glittering and his skin smooth, his face set in a sort of soft reverence for the world around him. How did he manage to be badass one moment and then creepily serene the next?  
  
How did he manage to see so deep inside of Dean and say what he had said without a single wink or nudge? Who could possibly be that honest and selfless? Better yet, who could be those things for someone like Dean?  
  
He wasn’t sure what made him move, not really. It started as a twitch in his gut. A bodily reaction to Cas’ words floating around inside of his head, crashing together like meteors with each little piece that broke away turning into more  _words_  or soft looks or gentle smiles. Dean didn’t usually let himself want much of anything that wasn’t good food or good music, but suddenly he wanted to kiss Castiel more than he’d wanted anything in a long time. And he didn’t feel selfish or wrong for wanting it.  
  
So he threaded his fingers through Castiel’s silky dark hair and when Castiel looked at him, he kissed him. For a tense brief second Castiel stiffened like a board and Dean thought he had made a horrible mistake that had probably cost him his one true friend. But then Castiel snapped to attention and kissed back clumsily. What he lacked in experience he made up for in enthusiasm, obviously enjoying the feel of Dean’s lips against his own.   
  
The angle was wrong though so Dean stood and fit himself between Castiel’s legs, hands holding his waist. When Castiel didn’t immediately shove him away he figured it was okay and kissed him again. Castiel sighed softly, his lovely hands framing Dean’s cheeks, his thumbs rubbing soothing circles along his jaws. Dean sucked at his plump bottom lip and slicked his tongue across it, flicking it repeatedly until Castiel squirmed and gasped. Then he slowly coaxed Castiel’s tongue to stroke his own, their mouths moving together in a sensual dance that left both men panting but unwilling to stop just yet. Dean hadn’t kissed anyone since going to jail so he wanted to savor the moment. He wanted to continue to draw the soft sounds from Castiel’s throat so that he would never forget them.  
  
“Dean.  _Dean_.” Castiel moaned breathily.  
  
The sound sent a shiver down Dean’s spine; his cock hardening almost immediately. Heat erupted in his stomach and he grunted, skimming his lips to the skin under Castiel’s ear to bite down and nibble until a red mark appeared. Dean liked the look of it; wondered how Castiel would look with is marks all over his body. On his chest and hips, down his toned back and on the inside of his thighs.  
  
Castiel eyes were dazed, the blue nearly swallowed by black. His cheeks were pink; his lips kiss swollen and red. Dean wanted to lay him out in the backseat and get underneath his clothes. Strip him naked and make those beautiful wings pop out so that he could bite their arches and grip the feathers while he fucked Castiel into oblivion.  
  
 _One kiss and it’s like I’m going off the rails! Is Cas freaken catnip or something?_  
  
“You okay?”  
  
Castiel blinked up at him through long sooty lashes. “Yes.” His voice was gravelly and dark. “That was very enjoyable.”  
  
Dean sniggered. “Uh, thanks I guess.” He ran his hand through Castiel’s hair again, curling the strands around his fingers, liking the way Castiel leaned back into it. “You’re so freaken hot.”  
  
“I—”  
  
Dean swallowed his words with another kiss. He licked into Castiel’s mouth, tasting him, pushing him back and down onto the hood of the car. Castiel opened willingly, tightening the hand he had on the back of Dean’s neck and whimpering as Dean pressed against him. Dean felt as if he was a rocket about to launch into orbit. It had been  _so_  long and even before then with Carmen it had never been this good. She’d never responded like Castiel was responding; practically a live wire beneath his hands, threatening to electrocute him. He was so warm and he smelled so good that Dean wanted to stay in this moment forever.  
  
Or devour him completely.  
  
The thought made Dean groan out a  _fuck_  into Castiel’s mouth and he shifted, letting his body sag forward so that he could grind down onto him, happy to find Castiel just as hard as he was.  
  
Castiel gasped at the friction, his hips bucking up of their own volition before he was pushing at Dean’s shoulders. “Dean, wa—wait…”  
  
“Shit, sorry!” Dean apologized taking a step back. “I’m sorry Cas.”  
  
“No it—it’s alright.” He looked startled, overwhelmed. “I am—I have just never experienced anything like that before. It is a bit staggering.”  
  
A sound clicked in Dean’s brain and he adjusted himself quickly. It would be hard to will his erection away and process that information at the same time. He was most likely totally jerking off later. “It’s cool. I uh, got carried away I guess.”  
  
“It was pleasurable.” Castiel replied ducking his head. As if to make him feel better. “Very.”  
  
It only succeeded in making Dean’s dick twitch. “Glad you liked it. You um, you wanna hang out here some more or head back?”  
  
“I would like to watch the stars with you more if that is okay…?”  
  
“Sure. I’m not really ready to go back either.”  
  
He pulled himself back up onto the Impala and exhaled deeply, grinning at no one. He glanced to Cas who grinned as well before inching closer to rest his head on Dean’s shoulder. They sat in comfortable silence for a long while when suddenly Dean was struck with an amusing idea.  
  
“Hey Cas. You said you’ve never tried to fly, right?”  
  
“No.” Castiel replied suspiciously. “I usually only take my wings out during a show, or when my back is aching.”  
  
Dean nodded. “Well would you be willing to try? I dunno it just seems like you should at least give it a go once. Being in a plane scares the shit outta me but if I had kick ass wings like yours I’d have to try if just one time.”  
  
Castiel canted his head to the side in thought. “I suppose that is a valid argument.” He stood and pulled off his sweater and t-shirt, laying them both across Dean’s lap. Goosebumps broke out onto his skin. “Let’s hope I don’t injure myself.”  
  
“You don’t gotta do this just ‘cause I brought it up.” Dean bit his lip and let his eyes trek over miles of perfectly smooth skin and two dusky nipples made hard from the nightly chill. “I don’t want you to get hurt. Pretty sure Gabriel will put his Ken doll foot in my ass if you do.”  
  
“I should be fine.” He rolled his shoulders and sighed as his wings emerged with the same soft sound, whip cracking to extend as far as they could to either sides of his body.  
  
Dean stared. It was all he could do. “How do you not fall over with those things?”  
  
Castiel chuckled. “Practice? I suppose I am just used to them by now. When I first developed them they were hard to manage. However there were certain… _angelic_  poses Zachariah wished for me to adhere to when people would come to ask for miracles.” His wings curved forward as if attempting an embrace, the long feathers at the tip nearly touching Dean’s knees. “I am sure you’ve seen them before on figurines. Every morning he would have me practice certain movements. I know now because he was coveting them but in his own sick way he did help me learn to control them more.”  
  
“I’m still not used to them.” Dean admitted with a smile. “It’s like there should straps or something.”  
  
His wings gave a lazy flutter and Castiel shrugged. “Sometimes I wish there were straps: that I could take them off whenever I wanted. But I am as God made me, and it’s not as bad as it used to be. Gabriel and others like him have taught me that I am not a freak.”  
  
Dean watched as he planted his feet, as his wings shook and he began to beat them slowly like a butterfly would only way cooler. As they got steadily faster they kicked up a bit of wind that ruffled Dean’s hair and the dirt around him. He was sure he looked like a star struck kid meeting Mickey Mouse for the first time but he couldn’t help it. Castiel was a sexy winged badass and he’d never been happier that he’d changed a stranger’s tire than he was at that moment. And then,  _very slowly_  Castiel’s feet lifted about two or three inches off the ground.  
  
“Dude you’re doing it!” Dean jumped up, pumping his fist into the air. “Fuck that’s awesome, Cas!”  
  
Castiel’s feet hit the dirt with a little bounce and he grinned, shaking his wings out. “I think it would take more control than I have to achieve actual flight.”  
  
His friend shrugged. “Maybe but still that was wicked cool.”  
  
“Thank you, Dean.”  
  
~*~  
  
“All things considered—what with bearing my soul to you and shit—I had fun tonight.” Dean smirked and gazed up at Castiel from the bottom of his trailer steps. “Thanks for listening.”  
  
“You’re welcome.” Castiel replied easily. “I am happy that I could be there for you. I’m always here, Dean, if you need me. I meant that.”  
  
Dean nodded. “I know.” Looking around, he stepped closer and leaned forward, kissing Castiel briefly. “Night Cas.”  
  
“Goodnight.” Castiel waited until he was walking away to shut his door.  
  
Balthazar’s words drifted back into the forefront of his memory and while his assessments had been slightly crude, Castiel could not disagree with them. He was attracted to Dean but honestly it was hard not to be once you got to know him. Once you got to see underneath all the layers of doubt and self hate he covered himself with. Of course if he had not thought he was amazing before—especially after hearing what he did for Sam—there is no way he wouldn’t think so now after hearing about his parental tragedies. Dean was doing things at fifteen that Castiel didn’t know how to do at eighteen.  
  
He sincerely wanted to be a shoulder for Dean to lean on if he needed it. Everyone said he was a good judge of character so surely Dean wasn’t some mirage of integrity. He was a wonderful man but still a boy in other ways and so very lost. Yet through it all he remained brave and selfless. Castiel wanted to help him be strong. He couldn’t explain why but sometimes some of the best things in life couldn’t be explained.  
  
And Balthazar was probably right. Dean would leave one day to go to his brother and Castiel would be left with only memories of him. They would never be enough for a lifetime but he would take them over nothing at all. He’d deal with the fallout later.


	7. Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

Several days passed without incident and Castiel decided that he could safely assume that Zachariah and the others had returned to the Retreat, or at the very least left town. Still he had not been “allowed” to be alone just in case they tried to slither back inconspicuously during one of his shows or perhaps catch him off guard at the grocery store. It was preposterous when you honestly thought about it but sadly he would not put it past Zachariah. Eleven years later and apparently his obsession with Castiel had not abated. He could only imagine what the so called Holy Leader would have said  _and done_  had they ever been alone together.  
  
At least this time he would have been able to truly defend himself.  
  
Try as he might he couldn’t stop feeling a bit of sorrow for his  _brothers and sisters_. While his life away from the Retreat wasn’t perfect it was  _his_  and he was living it to be best of his ability. He could go where he wanted and do whatever he wanted without his actions being dictated by a mad tyrant. They on the other hand could not. But he supposed it wasn’t so bad. They didn’t know any better and took his word as law. You could not miss what you’d never experienced before.  
  
Attempting to push those morbid thoughts out of his mind, he causally strolled across the wide field back towards the grounds. Jake was shirtless on the large green riding mower, driving it more like a car rather than actually cutting the tall grass that seemed to grow so quickly. Ava and Andy watched him in-between working in her garden, checking her tomato plants to see what damage the rabbits had done. Max was nowhere to be seen—of course—and Gabriel was sunning himself on an old patio chair while Balthazar chatted with him about something. Rufus’ truck was missing so he was more than likely out running an errand which meant Dean was around  _somewhere_.  
  
With everyone otherwise occupied he quickened his steps and veered towards his tent, ducking inside with a deep sigh. He placed his shirt on a small table piled with books and moved over to a floor length mirror. Since Dean had brought up the notion of flying he hadn’t exactly been able to stop thinking about it. Naturally he figured it would never be something he’d be able to do like a bird, but getting off the ground could also be exciting. So with nothing else to do today he decided to try again. After several tries in which he ended up on the ground, he’d called it quits. Perhaps tomorrow. Right now however he had to deal with the twigs, grass and leaves stuck in his wings.  
  
He couldn’t see them but he knew they were there—he could  _feel_  them. Shaking and flapping his wings had removed the biggest pieces. It was the smaller, hidden ones he had to deal with. They were nearly driving him crazy like an annoying itch you couldn’t scratch.  
  
“Damn it.” He growled reaching back as far as he could. “Infernal piece of sand.”  
  
“Whoa Cas, you kiss little kids with that mouth?” Dean waltzed in smugly, obviously teasing him. He put down the hedge clippers he was carrying. “Heh dude you’ve got leaves in your wings. What were you doing? Did you go for a roll in the hay with someone?”  
  
Castiel rolled his eyes. “Of course not. And if I had I would have pieces of hay in my wings, not leaves. The truth is that I—I attempted to fly again on my own with less than successful results. Defying gravity is proving to be harder than I calculated.”  
  
Dean smiled at him. “Well no worries. If you do it then cool and if you don’t, then you don’t.” Flopping down onto the sofa, he gestured for Castiel to come closer. “C’mere and I’ll pick the crap outta your wings for you.” When Castiel hesitated with a rather nervous expression, he rubbed the back of his neck. “Um, or ya know I could go get Gabriel if you want. If you’d feel more comfortable with him doing it I mean.”   
  
Castiel licked his lips and drew his wings closer to his body, liking the feel of soft feathers against his skin. “Actually no one but Zachariah has touched by wings before. It used to be so wrong—like a violation—whenever he did it that when I escaped the Retreat I decided not to let anyone else have the privilege. Gabriel never asked and I have never wanted anyone else to do so.”  
  
Dean nodded. “I get it, man. I can see how Zach would totally ruin something like that for you.”  
  
 _That he did_ , Castiel thought to himself. “Yes. However he could have ruined so much more so I suppose this small thing was a blessing in disguise.” Wringing his hands, he wandered over and sat down in front of Dean on the floor.  
  
“Cas.” Dean kept his hands to himself. “I’m sure we could find another way. Hey I could put on gloves.”  
  
His concern touched Castiel and he patted his leg. “I am grateful that you do not wish to offend me or upset me. I know that you only do this because you care about me. To be honest it makes me feel…warm inside that you have taken me into your good graces in what could be construed as a short amount of time.” He turned and looked into bright green eyes. “When Zachariah would stroke my wings while I pretended to heal people, he would have this look of rapture upon his face. I’m sure some of it was because of the money, but after he tried to attack me I figured it caused him some type of sexual thrill to touch them. I can understand that, as odd as it may sound. However it was a thrill I did not willingly give.” Pause. “I trust you. And I—well I enjoyed your touch the other night and the tiny rocks are irritating my feathers.”  
  
Dean flexed his fingers with a laugh. “Okay. But look if at any time it starts to feel weird or creepy tell me and I’ll stop.”  
  
“I know you will.” He said simply.  
  
Dean cracked his knuckles loudly and surveyed Castiel’s wings, his eyes big and round like a kid on Christmas. Very slowly he began to pick out pieces of debris; tiny stones and little twigs. Castiel shivered and his wings shot out, the primary flight feathers twitching. Dean’s hands were warm and gentle, and after each whatever he would remove he’d straighten the feathers from disarray. Smoothing them down and running his fingers through them, rubbing them like he almost couldn’t believe they were real.  
  
It was so comforting that Castiel drooped in pleasure, letting his wings do the same, covering Dean’s legs. He was surprised by how safe he felt in such a vulnerable position. While his wings were large and imposing, there were certain spots that could easily be damaged. Thin membranes and hidden veins; if Dean wanted to he could severely hurt him. The fact that he knew Dean wouldn’t made him feel warm. It was different from the type of warmth he felt when Balthazar or Gabriel showed they cared.  
  
Dean chuckled softly and continued petting him. “They’re really soft. And silky.”  
  
Castiel murmured in response. “Your hands feel nice.”  
  
Dean carded his fingers in a little deeper toward his joints and Castiel moaned, unable to help himself. It was so different to have someone else—someone he trusted—intimately touching him in such a way. Zachariah’s fingers had been meaty and rough but Dean’s—while work hardened—were gentle. As if he were a small kitten liable to be startled if handled too vigorously.   
  
His stomach tightened and he bit his bottom lip, feeling a red flush travel up his neck and to his cheeks. Castiel wasn’t exactly a stranger to arousal but it wasn’t something he experienced a great deal of. Especially when it came to other people. He figured Zachariah was to blame for that to a certain extent. He could find others attractive—and often had—but none that he wanted to touch him in a carnal way. Dean’s touch wasn’t meant to be sexual but it still caused a flurry of images to erupt onto the surface of Castiel’s mind. Things he would only briefly dream about in the past.  
  
The more Dean’s talented fingers combed the more Castiel’s skin tingled. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears and idly wondered if Dean could hear it as well. He squirmed a little and sighed. His body was strung tight as a bow but for some reason it wasn’t painful at all. It was the opposite. It felt  _good_  to be so coiled up inside because he understood that the release afterwards would be worth it.  
  
“You okay?” Dean inquired. “Want me to stop?”  
  
Castiel shook his head. “No I—it feels very good.” He shifted, laying his arms across his lap to hide his stiffening erection.  
  
“Ah.” Dean said with a knowing tone.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Nothing.”  
  
“Dean.”  
  
“Heh what? I’m just amused that I’m sort of giving you a wing job.”  
  
Castiel tsked him. “As interesting as that would be I hardly doubt I could achieve orgasm just from having my wings stroked.” A beat. “I should make you stop for even considering such a thing.”  
  
Dean’s fingers paused their untangling. “You know I didn’t mean anything by it, Cas. If this is making you—“  
  
“ _Dean_  I am fine.” Castiel stressed. “I am inexperienced, not fragile. And besides I’ve been kissed before. Desired before. Balthazar once wished to court me a while after he arrived here. He kissed me but I did not share his affections, at least not in a romantic manner.”  
  
“That explains a lot.” Dean muttered. He huffed and turned his attentions toward a soothing massage, rubbing his thumbs in firm circles above the flesh where wing met skin.  
  
Castiel was going to ask what he meant but found himself quickly becoming too overwhelmed to speak. His synapses were all firing at once, sending mixed messages to his brain. Some of them wanted him to turn around and throw himself at Dean while others told him to melt into a pile of goo at Dean’s feet, like a contented cat being petted by its’ Master. Since he had no real skill with the first he decided to just enjoy Dean’s amazing massage and perhaps masturbate later if the issue of his erection didn’t dissipate. The thought made him chuckle.  
  
Lifting up his right wing to brush his fingers along the bottom joint, Dean spoke. “Hey Cas, don’t you get tired of being shirtless whenever you show these bad boys?”  
  
Castiel blinked indolently at him. “Sometimes it gets cold. Ah…sore.”  
  
Dean nodded. “Yeah you’ve got a knot here.” He added pressure to alleviate the tension. “I’d suggest maybe having them out more. I mean not like anyone here isn’t used to them.”  
  
True. “Yes but I do not like the thought of simply walking around shirtless all the time. I can hear Gabriel’s teasing already.”  
  
His friend laughed. “Funny enough but so can I. It’s cool I’ll make you a shirt. I got one that’ll probably be a little big on you so it should work. Just cut slits in the back then you can have ‘em out without flashing everyone.”  
  
There was humor in Dean’s voice and Castiel smiled. He couldn’t help but wonder if this was how Dean tended to the people in his life that he cared about. If he put time and effort into fixing their ailments and into thinking of ways to make their lives easier. He could obviously confess that he liked being on the receiving end of such attention. Everyone that worked for Gabriel looked out for him because they assumed because of his upbringing he needed it a bit more than most. Not that he was necessarily weak but that perhaps he would benefit from the added attention. Honestly Castiel sometimes saw it as a way to humanize him a bit more.  
  
But of course if it came down to their problems or his they would focus on themselves first and rightly so. Dean however wouldn’t. Dean was an “all in” type of man and for some reason Castiel was enamored by that notion.  
  
It was rare…just like him.  
  
~*~  
  
“Are you sure you are alright?”  
  
Dean grinned at him. “Dude it’s cool, seriously. You didn’t even hit me that hard.”  
  
Castiel frowned, his eyes crossing when Dean reached up to rub the space between his brows. “But you are still bruised from the fight with Zachariah and the others. The last thing you need is to be hit in the face, especially by wings.”  
  
After the comforting massage with a few more minutes to make sure his wings were free of sand and leaves, Dean jogged off to his trailer and returned moments later with a soft looking dark green shirt. (Apparently it was a Henley though Castiel wasn’t sure why that mattered.) He used the garden sheers to slice two long slits down the back and then had Castiel put it on, saying he would “guide” his wings out through the holes. Unfortunately Castiel didn’t calculate the speed in which to do that and ended up clocking Dean in the face with a wing.  
  
Dean in turn had laughed and joked about feathers in his mouth but Castiel had been horrified thinking he’d aggravated Dean’s already sore cheek.  
  
“I’m okay. I promise.” Dean winked. “So how does the shirt feel?”  
  
“Pleasant. Mobility appears promising and I am warm.” Pause. “Are you sure you do not mind me using it?”  
  
“Having it. It’s yours.” Dean yawned. “Um did you wanna give flying another go? I could spot you.”  
  
Castiel snuggled the shirt; he could smell Dean in the threads of fabric. It was a pleasing smell. “I am suspicious that your motives have less to do with me actually flying, and more to do with you wanting to rid my wings of rubbish again.”  
  
Dean threw his head back and laughed, his whole face lighting up. He looked so handsome and carefree. “You’re a funny dude, Cas.” Ducking his head, he stepped closer. “And I was under the impression that I was kinda allowed to touch you whenever I wanted now.” He slipped his arms around Castiel’s waist and pulled him close, nuzzling his neck.  
  
Castiel couldn’t help but grin. “I am slightly surprised that you would want to.”  
  
Dean snorted kissing below his earlobe. “Oh please. You know you’re hot. With your permanent sex hair and insane blue eyes and of course there is the rest of you.” Castiel blushed and Dean caressed his cheek. “You’re gorgeous. And besides that you’re cool. But ya know if I ever overstep my balance just push me away.”  
  
This would have been the perfect time to talk about the evident change in their friendship but Castiel didn’t want to ruin the moment. He didn’t want to hear that he was just a fling or a way to pass the time; though he knew Dean would never tell him the latter. To be honest he wasn’t sure how Dean really saw him at all.  
  
“I would very much like to attempt flying again.”  
  
~*~  
  
When Dean was a child he didn’t mind sharing with Sam, not really. It made him feel good to play the big brother card and to be able to say  _it’s okay Sammy, you can play with my truck if you want to_. Not to mention his mother would then tell him what a good boy he was and the next time they all went out, buy him something just to call his own. After she was gone and dad started drinking more and more, Dean realized someone would have to go without when it came to things. Usually that someone was him. He couldn’t let it be Sam and although a part of him hated his dad for what he’d become, he’d usually cave and try to get him whatever he needed as well.  
  
So Sam would get new clothes for school—when he could afford them—and he would just wear whatever still fit. Sam would  _always_  have something to eat and if anything was left he’d nibble on it. Sam went on the school trips he wanted to go on and was even able to take a girl out once. It was clear to Dean that Sam was special and that he deserved good things. After a while he stopped wanting anything for himself except for Sam to be okay and happy.  
  
It was odd to have an actual feeling of…possessiveness again. To… _want_  again.  
  
Some of it was the same though. He wanted Castiel to be okay and happy and not have to worry about weirdos trying to drag him into the back of their Jesus van. But he also wanted him—well he wanted him all to himself. The fact that he was basically the second person to ever touch his wings made an odd feeling swell in the center of his chest. That Castiel trusted him with something so big sort of made him feel like it was  _their_  thing. Or his thing. It was hard to put into words.  
  
And then there was the guilt over wanting he couldn’t seem to shake no matter how hard he tried.  
  
Scratching at his stubbly cheek, he looked up at the cloud filled blue sky and then out at the field that seemed to go on forever. It was so peaceful in New Melody—crazy fanatics aside. He thought he would be bored to death here but he wasn’t, especially not with someone like Gabriel around or Rufus who always had something to say. And of course no one could be bored with Castiel around. If he were to ever settle down it would probably be a small town like this except maybe one with an actual mall.  
  
Arching a brow, he smirked and wet his lips. “Maybe if you flapped them faster…”  
  
Castiel glared at him and dusted off his jeans from where he’d stumbled onto them. “If I flapped them any faster I would blow you over. Or cover you in dust.”  
  
He shrugged. “I wouldn’t mind either. Okay.” He clapped his hands together and walked over to Castiel, putting his hands on his waist. “I’m gonna give you a boost and then move. At the very least it should make you glide.”  
  
Castiel sighed exasperatedly. “Yes Dean.”  
  
Dean snickered. “Hey man we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. To be honest I just like seeing you in action.”  
  
“Many do.” Castiel mused. “But I am not averse to trying again. It’s fun.”  
  
Dean was not about to argue with that. “Okay on the count of three. One…two…three!”  
  
He wasn’t sure what he was expecting but the breeze kicked up by Castiel’s wings as he beat them felt nice. For a second it actually looked as if he were going to fly. He hovered in the air like a bird, feet off the ground and hair tousled with a happy smile on his face. Sadly before Dean could really enjoy it Castiel was falling onto him and knocking him off balance, sending them both crashing to the ground.  
  
“Dean! I’m so sorry!” Castiel apologized. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”  
  
Dean’s side gave a twinge but he kept that to himself. “Nah I’m good.” A beat. “‘Sides who would complain about an angel falling on them?”  
  
Castiel shifted but didn’t get off of him. “Rufus. He complains about everything.”  
  
“Look at you making jokes.” Dean teased, rubbing his lower back. “I guess there’s hope for you after all.”  
  
Castiel pushed back into his fingers. “I do not know why I was so wary about people touching me. It feels wonderful when you do it.”  
  
 _Baseball. Sam’s hair. Sam’s farts after too many tacos._  “Yeah but I’m really awesome. And ya know, I get it. I’m not fond of strangers touching me either.”  
  
“But you have copulated with strangers before?”  
  
“I’ve had one night stands in the past, yeah. But that’s different.”  
  
“How so?”  
  
“I don’t know. It just seems to me that letting someone touch your wings is more intimate than doing someone in a bar bathroom.”  
  
Castiel tilted his head and stared at him quietly. His hand came up slowly and he smoothed his fingers over Dean’s cheek and across his nose, then down along his plump lips. “You shouldn’t give yourself away so freely, Dean. You are worth more than a quick indiscretion in a restroom.”  
  
Dean looked away, so tempted to roll Cas off of him and hurry back to his car. He didn’t like being put on the spot. He didn’t like someone burrowing into his soul and showing what they’d found. “It’s just sex, Cas,” he said as quietly as he could.  
  
Castiel blinked serenely. “I suppose and I am not condemning you for seeking pleasure where pleasure is given. I just…you’re special and I believe the person you share yourself with should realize this. They should know just  _how_  special you are so that they can react accordingly. But perhaps I am simply old fashioned.”  
  
He blushed and hated himself for it. “Or a hopeless romantic.”  
  
Castiel did not agree or disagree. Instead he settled down against him as if invited, his head on Dean’s chest. Dean tensed for a moment—he was more of a closeted cuddler—before saying fuck it and relaxing into the soft grass. Idly he dragged his fingers through Cas’ feathers, smiling when he  _mmm’d_  in response, letting his wings curve forward. Dean had no idea how they’d reached this point. How Castiel suddenly felt so comfortable with him and vice versa. Sure they’d had a month to get to know each other and become friends but this was much more than that. This was cozy.  
  
Maybe it was because he’d unloaded his baggage to Cas and he’d been impressed, not disgusted. He hadn’t told him how he should have done more for his family or that he should buck up princess because bad shit happens and he’s no one special. Castiel thought he was special. He was the only one but it wasn’t like he needed an army of people screaming it at him.  
  
“Cas, why do you like me?” He blurted out. Shit. “I mean, I don’t know. I’m an ex con, high school drop out with serious mommy and daddy issues. Not exactly a catch.”  
  
“I like you because you are completely selfless.” Castiel replied without a hint of sarcasm. “I like you because of how I feel when we are together. You are strong and brave and you deserve someone that sees all of this within you.”  
  
“And you see all that?”  
  
“I do.”  
  
Without even thinking about it Dean kissed him on the top of his head, getting a nose full of his fruity smelling shampoo. Castiel was going to be the death of him with his honest, yearning eyes and total lack of people skills. It was as if he didn’t know you weren’t supposed to bare your heart to someone until you were sure they’d protect it.  _Maybe he does know that though._  
  
That was a terrifying thought.  
  
Castiel lifted up over him, blocking out the sun. “Your heart rate has accelerated. Are you alright?”  
  
Dean smirked. “Yeah I’m good. For what it’s worth, I like you too.” He laced his fingers through Castiel’s hair and gave it a little tug, something he could ignore if he wanted. He wasn’t too surprised when Castiel let himself be pulled forward into a kiss.  
  
Dean pushed himself into a sitting position and angled Castiel closer, sucking on his bottom lip until he started to wriggle in his lap. Castiel’s wings folded around Dean’s shoulders and they were so freaken soft against his cheeks yet he could feel the strength in them as they held him securely against Castiel’s chest.   
  
“I like kissing you.” Castiel panted into his mouth. “It’s like your lips were made for it.”  
  
“They were made for more than that, trust me.” Dean swooped in and kissed him again.  
  
They made out like teenagers until numb lips and growling stomachs alerted that it was time to return to the farm.  
  
~*~  
  
Sitting in a rickety wooden chair with a water bottle in one hand and his cell phone in another, Dean stretched his legs out and snickered. “Dude it does kinda make you less of a man to hold her freaken  _purse_ while she tries on shoes. But then you weren’t much of a man before Samantha so I think you’re okay.”  
  
“Oh shut up Dean!” Sam shouted. “It was only for a few minutes and she didn’t want it to get stolen.”  
  
“Whipped.” Dean coughed.  
  
Sam growled. “I can’t  _wait_ until you fall for someone so that I can get you back for all this teasing.”  
  
Dean grinned, his eyes drifting to where Castiel and Gabriel stood talking. “Yeah you make it sound like I’m gonna change or something. You know I’m gonna continue to be awesome.”  
  
“Maybe.” Pause. “So everything okay there? You haven’t stroked out on cotton candy yet?”  
  
“Not yet. I’m actually eating normal—well normal for me I guess.” He made a face. “Not many burger places around here so if Gabe doesn’t fire up the grill I have to eat whatever Ellen and ‘em bring.”  
  
“Managing to get any vegetables into you?” Sam asked tauntingly. “At this point I think a pea would be an improvement.”  
  
“Bitch. If you must know Cas tries to make me choke down fruit and shit whenever he can.” He jostled his water from side to side.  
  
“Ah the infamous  _Cas_.” There was obvious amusement in Sam’s voice. “Wish I could meet this guy, he sounds interesting. I mean he’s getting you to eat fruit and you talk about him all the time.”  
  
Dean shrugged. “He’s a cool dude.”  
  
Sam fell quiet before replying. “Dean can I ask you something kind of personal?”  
  
Dean frowned. “I’d rather you didn’t but I know you will anyway so go ahead.”  
  
Sam chuckled lightly. “It’s nothing bad. I just—when dad was alive you only went out with girls. You didn’t even mention liking guys too until a few years after he was gone.”  
  
“Yeah well, it’s not like he would have understood or whatever. C’mon Sammy you remember what he was like, especially when he was drinking. The last thing I wanted to deal with—on top of everything else—was him calling me names or kicking my ass.”  
  
“You think he would have done that?”  
  
“Hell yeah. Mom probably wouldn’t have cared and that would have mellowed him out but…ya know…”  
  
“Uh-huh. I’m okay with it though. Really I am.”  
  
“I know Sam.”  
  
“I just want you to be happy so whoever you bring home I’ll be cool with. Well as long as they aren’t crazy.”  
  
 _Like Ruby,_  Dean thought idly. “Yeah yeah. I’ll keep that in mind Samantha.” A beat. “Okay I’ll let you go do geek stuff. Talk to you later.”  
  
“Later.” Sam chirped happily before hanging up.  
  
Dean pressed the  _End_  button on his phone and slipped it back into his pocket, digging the heel of his hand against his eye. So his dad—John Winchester—wasn’t bad all the time. There was a time when he was probably one of the best dads in the world. A time when he did normal dad shit liked played ball and tucked his kids in at night and offered them advice about stuff. He didn’t turn into a bastard overnight either. For weeks after Mary Winchester’s death he  _tried_  to hold it together. In the end though he just couldn’t hold on hard enough.  
  
It was tough seeing him go from cool dad to shouting asshole. Knowing that he would rather drink himself unconscious than take care of his children. While Sam and John fought over anything and everything, Dean would get the worst of it most of the time. He’d always wondered  _why_  but deep down he figured he always knew the answer. It was because he looked  _so much_  like his mother. Perfect strangers would comment about it whenever they were out together. Since he’d always thought of her as beautiful he took it as a compliment. After she died it wasn’t something he ever wanted to hear again.  
  
Sam could be a little bitch at the best of times but he was very open-minded.  
  
A slim body popped in front of him from around the corner and he jerked, nearly flipping out of his chair. Jo laughed lightly at his expression. “You okay?”  
  
He cursed under his breath.” You shouldn’t sneak up on people like that.”  
  
She grinned. “I wasn’t trying to. Geeze…” Her tiny hands touched his cheeks. “I heard you’d got into a brawl with some trifling people. You don’t look too bad though. I’d even say the bruises make you look more kick ass.”  
  
He snickered. “Thanks.”  
  
Smoothing her thumb along his jaw, she pulled back and folded her arms across her chest. “Dean you’ve been here about a month and some change, and while very cute you seem to be kinda slow. A girl can’t wait forever ya know? So I’m taking the bull by the horns and asking you out. There is a rodeo happening two towns over. Not usually my deal but it’s better than the cheese festival.”  
  
Dean smiled; it was cute she thought he was slow when it came to people flirting with him. “I’m sure you’re an awesome chick. In fact I know you are but—”  
  
“But what?” She interrupted. “If you don’t wanna do the rodeo we can just hang out or something. I mean it’s not like you’re dating anyone else. There  _is_  no one else.”  
  
“Depends on what you’re into.” He couldn’t help but glance to Castiel.  
  
Jo followed his gaze and her round brown eyes stretched wide. “You and Castiel?  _Really_? He just seems so…”  
  
Dean arched a brow. “It’s very new but I like it. I like him.” He paused. “I’m sorry.”  
  
She waved a hand. “I’m not a little kid, Dean. I won’t throw myself onto my bed and cry because you’re not into me. Still it’s your loss.” She winked to let him know she was teasing—mostly—and sauntered away to talk to Jake.  
  
 _At least she isn’t_  too  _broken up about it_.  
  
“What did Jo want?” Castiel inquired as he walked up. “I am not supposed to ask that, am I?”  
  
Dean laughed. “No it’s fine. She uh, she asked me out. On a date.”  
  
He nodded. “Have you decided where you are going?”  
  
Dean rolled his eyes. “Cas, I told her no. Duh.”  
  
“Oh.” He smiled. “I see.” He cleared his throat. “Gabriel tells me that Zachariah and the others have officially left the state. He had someone tracking them.”  
  
“He can be a scary little dude when he wants to be.” Dean sniggered.  
  
Castiel scratched at his face. “Perhaps. Yet he is still miles above Crowley.”  
  
Dean did not recall ever hearing that name before. “Who’s Crowley?”  
  
Castiel exhaled. “Someone I hope you never have to meet.” A dark look crossed his face but he shook it away. “Come. Gabriel wants you to help peel potatoes.”  
  
Dean groaned in fake misery and let himself be led away.


	8. Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight

The laughter of children was loud outside of Castiel’s tent several days later. Low giggles and helpless peals from boys and girl which meant that Gabriel was most likely doing something idiotic. He enjoyed the young ones even though they made the biggest mess. They didn’t really understand the mechanics of what Ava and Andy did, but they loved to watch Jake pick up heavy things or Max move things with his mind. Sometimes they even left with a bent spoon as a souvenir.  
  
Castiel only interacted with kids when they came to see him but from what he’d gathered, he liked them and wanted his own some day. He wasn’t sure how that was going to happen but he assumed that one day he would adopt or perhaps get a surrogate and egg donor. It was better than Gabriel’s advice of “knocking some random girl up and keeping the kid.”  
  
He couldn’t help but wonder if Dean liked children. He should ask him. It was good to find out these types of things early.  
  
Sitting on his couch in the Henley Dean had fashioned for him, Castiel took pleasure in the small reprieve he was given between people coming to see him. He yanked a large red pillow into his lap and hugged it, resting his chin on it.  
  
Balthazar drifted from behind his screen and hovered, tapping a bottle of soda against his thigh. “Tired already, dear? We haven’t even been at it that long tonight.”  
  
Castiel smiled at him. “No not tired, just content I suppose.”  
  
He chuckled. “Why are you so content? Is this because that bald headed menace Zachariah is no longer a threat?”  
  
Castiel shifted and tugged absently at the hem of his shirt. “Yes that does play a part. I am happy that he will bother me no longer. I only wish that Anna and the others would see him for the lying snake that he truly is.”  
  
Balthazar hummed. “Maybe one day they will…when they are older and tired of following that ape’s orders. But you know you can’t save everyone, Cassy. Had you tried they would have just dragged you down with them.”  
  
True. “I know. It is just hard not to think of them and my time there. It was not completely horrible. Sometimes I think if I had never grown wings Zachariah would have never become interested in me, and I would have never needed a reason to leave.” Pause. “Of course then I would have probably married whatever woman he chose for me whether I loved her or not.”  
  
“And had a bunch of snot nosed brats.” Balthazar joked. “You’re better off here with us.”  
  
“I agree. I have experienced quite a bit since joining Gabriel.” Castiel whispered thoughtfully. “And yet there is still so much more for me to encounter.”  
  
“Such as?” Balthazar asked harmlessly.  
  
The flap at the front quivered when Dean ducked inside, stealing whatever Castiel was going to say. He grinned and clomped over, falling down beside Castiel with a little grunt. “Hi.”  
  
Castiel smirked. “Hello Dean. Are you hiding from Rufus?”  
  
“Nope!” He said cheerfully. “I’m on a break. Besides technically if I wait until everyone leaves it’ll be easier to clean up.”  
  
Balthazar snorted. “Why not go wait with Andy then? Make sure he doesn’t smoke himself into a stupor.”  
  
Dean shrugged. “I’d rather be here with Cas. And Andy is a lost cause.” He motioned to the next wave of people slowly starting to filter in. “Might as well hang around and make sure they behave.”  
  
Balthazar’s upper lip curled but he didn’t reply. Instead he disappeared behind his divider shade to sit and monitor the proceedings like he usually did.   
  
Two little boys stood in front of their mother with wide eyes; they couldn’t have been more than five years old. They stared at Castiel as most do, tiny mouths hanging open in shock and awe. He stretched his wings open as far as they would go and they both gasped, fixatedly following the movement.  
  
“Wow!” One exclaimed quietly. “Are those real?”  
  
“Yes they are.” Castiel replied. He took the money from the mother and slipped it into his cigar box.  
  
“They’re aaamaazing!” He clapped. “Were you born with ‘em? How can I get some too!”  
  
Dean chuckled to himself. “Eat your peas.”  
  
The little boy made a face like he was just told all of his toys had burned in a fire. “Ew! I hate peas! They’re icky!”  
  
Dean nodded. “I know squirt, I hate them too. But you need them if you wanna grow big and strong, and sprout awesome wings like these here.” He reached over and threaded his fingers through the feathers. “Broccoli helps too.”  
  
Castiel’s body slumped at the feel of Dean’s fingers, his left wing flapping happily at the attention the right was receiving. “Yes I—I ate a lot of peas and broccoli as a small child.”  
  
Everyone laughed when the two children made  _ick_  faces again with one boy declaring maybe he didn’t want wings after all. However Castiel noticed that Balthazar didn’t appear amused at all by the conversation. He was half hidden and staring daggers at Dean’s hand still casually touching his wing. Castiel was tempted to ask him what was wrong but he didn’t wish to get into anything major during a show. Perhaps after; Balthazar’s feelings were important to him and he hated to think of him in distress.  
  
The evening progressed with more people filtering in and out of Castiel’s space. A few he recognized while others were honest to God tourists from parts unknown. They wanted pictures but Dean did not think that was a good idea and he threatened anyone who pulled out a camera or a camera phone. One “hipster douche” as Dean called him did not heed the warning and found his phone smashed for his trouble. He yelled about suing and Dean threatened to break his neck, and that was the end of the confrontation.  
  
It was surprising that there were no other photos of him floating around especially in the age of computers. However the locals felt no need for evidence and Castiel wouldn’t be surprised if Gabriel had something in place to stop others from snapping a picture. He had never given much thought to the government catching wind of him and wanting to study him. To dissect him into little pieces to find out how he worked but evidently those who loved him thought about it all the time. He didn’t believe they would have a right to kidnap him and keep him against his will but stranger things happened. As much as he sometimes hated his wings he would not want doctors with gloved hands and sterile instruments touching them or cutting them off to study the nature of their intricate design.  
  
The trickle of awed spectators became fewer and fewer as the hours ticked by with more lulls in-between. Where usually Balthazar would have been entertaining him with funny anecdotes about his life before the Menagerie he was strangely quiet, choosing to stay out of sight except for the occasional scowl. Dean on the other hand continued to be lively and chatty, talking about what he wanted to eat when the show was closed. He was leaning towards a cheeseburger if Gabriel would let him get a hold of the grill. He was still sitting close to Castiel and his fingers were underneath Castiel’s shirt stroking the base of his wing joints from side to side.   
  
And every time Castiel would uncurl his wings or try to fold them against his back, the one closest to Dean would sneak back around his shoulders. Castiel could not deny that he enjoyed the closeness and the feeling of Dean’s warmth against him. Not to mention the way Dean gathered a handful of feathers and played with them.  
  
“Do you think those children will eat more peas?” Castiel inquired. “The ones we saw earlier.”  
  
Dean snickered. “They might. Depends on how bad they want wings of their own I guess. I don’t know if anything could have gotten me to eat my veggies when I was younger though. Well maybe if they were deep fried in butter.”  
  
Castiel laughed. “That would defeat the entire purpose of eating them in the first place. You seem to like fruit much more anyway. There are many different kinds that you have yet to try. Kiwis, limes, mangoes, apricots—and the combination of such are quite varied. I am sure if we tried we could find some you would eat on a weekly basis.”  
  
Dean arched a brow. “Help yourself Cas. I’ll let you ply me with fruit if it’s what you really want.”  
  
Castiel smirked. “And I suppose you receive no pleasure from it at all?”  
  
“Maybe a little.” Dean winked. “So are you bout done here or what? I gotta go check the grounds for crap before I can cook me up something good.”  
  
Castiel usually waited until Balthazar alerted him to the time but things were quieting down outside which meant that people were slowly vacating the area. He did not see any reason why they could not discontinue the viewing for the night. “I think everyone is going home. I will help you clean up and then we can have dinner, if you wish.”  
  
Dean nodded. “Sounds good to me.” He stood and stretched his arms high over his head, making his shirt ride up in the front and flashed a silver of smooth tanned skin.   
  
Castiel would have reached over and touched it had they been alone. As it were a small figure hobbled through the open flaps, one that he recognized immediately.  
  
“Alice.”  
  
The little old woman smiled at him and clutched at her faded pink shawl. “Hello Castiel. Am I too late to see you?”  
  
He shook his head. “Of course not. I did not expect you until next week however. Is everything alright?”  
  
“I heard from my eldest son today.” She said with a big smile. “His wife is pregnant with baby number four. I am going to have another grandchild.”  
  
“That is wonderful.” Castiel replied. “I am sure he will be coming to visit you soon.”  
  
She waved a hand. “Perhaps…but he has his own life in New York and the home takes good care of me. Besides my birthday is soon and he always comes on my birthday. All I have to do is live until then.” Her brown eyes shifted to Dean. “You have a new friend.”  
  
“Yes. This is Dean.” He motioned to the man in question. “Dean this is Alice. She has been coming to see me since I first started to present my…talent. She has three children and all of them live in other states. Her husband died many years ago.”  
  
“Um, nice to meet you.” Dean murmured.  
  
“Nice to meet you too.” She responded. “I’m happy that Castiel has another friend. Sometimes he would look so lonely when I would come to see him. That is how we bonded I think. Two lonely souls seeking one another. Well and the fact that nothing will convince me that he’s not an angel.”  
  
Castiel ducked his head. “We have had this conversation many times but she refuses to call me anything else. Even though I do not have any angelic powers.”  
  
Alice tsked him. “You have beautiful white wings and the calmest temperament I have ever seen. And you humor a silly old woman whenever she comes to visit you.  _That’s_  an angel.”  
  
Castiel used to argue with her whenever she would say such things but he didn’t anymore; there was really no need. Alice had her own ideals and by right she could chose to believe whatever she wanted. Honestly he did not care if it eased the pain that was obviously simmering underneath the surface of her soft smiles and tired eyes. Her sons barely came to visit her anymore—to busy with their own lives—and the other people in the nursing home were not much better off than she was. She had once told him that she was simply waiting to die and that because she’d laid eyes on a real angel, she knew death couldn’t be so bad.  
  
While he did not like the religious label he was not so callous as to hurt her feelings.   
  
“You are entitled to your opinions.” He unfurled his wings the way she liked. “Next time you come to visit me you should bring that gentlemen friend you mentioned.”  
  
Alice giggled. “Harold doesn’t get out much because of his gout but I have told him all about you. He doesn’t really believe me but he’s  _certain_  aliens are real! Says he worked at Area 51. I think he’s full of hot air but I enjoy his stories.” Sighing deeply, she tapped her cane on the ground. “Well I suppose I will be leaving now. Just wanted to see your handsome face.”  
  
“Good-bye Alice.” Castiel stepped forward as if to walk her out but she waved him away. “Be well.”  
  
“I’ll continue to try.” Her voice floated back to them as she disappeared around the corner.  
  
Dean—who had been oddly quiet during the exchange—raked his hand through his hair. “Notice you didn’t charge her.”  
  
Castiel shrugged just barely. “She would gladly pay if asked but I do not think it is appropriate considering our history.” Pause. “I wish there was something I could do to help her.”  
  
Sighing, Dean smiled. “I think just getting to see you and talk to you helps her a lot.”  
  
That made sense. And yet… “It un-nerves me when people think that I am much more than I am. She is not the first to call me an angel or to find comfort in the  _idea_  of what I could be. There was a young woman a few years ago named Christina that came to see me. She told me about her life; how she sold herself at a brothel under the name Chastity because her father had abandoned her at a young age. She did not have a very high opinion of herself.” He wrapped his arms around his waist. “At first she was convinced that the only way to be  _saved_  was to…lay with me. Her inner turmoil broke my heart and yet I—I could not bring myself to even pray with her. It felt too reminiscent of what Zachariah used to do. For all of the people that simply like the marvel of what I can do, others put faith into it and makes me nervous. I could be like Zachariah.”  
  
Dean frowned. “No way, Cas. No way. That asshole is rotten to the core and all he cares about is himself and money. Even if one day you decided to call yourself Messiah Starfish and grow a hippy beard you’d never be like him because you’re too good. You wanna help people, not dupe them. And ya know I get that some see you and wanna believe in a higher power. Life sucks most of the time so when we find something awesome, we kinda hold onto it as hard as we can. They just wanna know they’re not alone.”  
  
Castiel knew that Dean was speaking from experience. “No one is truly alone as long as they have love in their hearts. But I understand what you mean.”  
  
“I’m gonna go…check out the grounds.” Dean thumbed behind him. He looked a bit shaken by the conversation and Castiel wondered if it were because of his past or simply the topic. “Cheeseburgers after?”  
  
“Yes Dean.” Castiel gave a slow half smile. “I will ask Gabriel if you can use the grill.”  
  
“Sweet.” Dean rubbed his hands together in anticipation before flicking his feathers. “We can eat—”  
  
“You presumptuous little ass!” Balthazar interrupted as he stomped into view. “Just what the fuck do you think you are doing?”  
  
Dean blinked. “Um, making plans to cook.”  
  
Balthazar snorted. “I would ask that you not play dumb but I know it’s not an act. I am referring to your continual mauling of poor Castiel.” He folded his arms over his chest. “It should go without saying but he does not like to have his wings touched.”  
  
Dean licked his lips. “Well if he didn’t like me doing it I’m pretty sure he’d kick my ass for it. We both know he can.”  
  
Balthazar chuckled sardonically. “You think you’re such hot shit, don’t you? That you can just waltz in here and bat your pretty lashes and everyone will fall all over themselves to please you. You’re not special Dean.”  
  
“I never said I was. Look I know it must chap your ass or whatever that you’ve known Cas longer and he’s never let you feel him up, but that’s not my problem. He needed my help with his wings so I helped. End of story.”  
  
“And why would he go to you? Why would he  _trust_  you out of everyone else that he knows here?”  
  
Castiel looked between his two friends. “Balthazar, Dean is telling the truth. He—he’s not taking unwanted liberties with me. We discussed matters and I found that I do not mind if he lays hands to my wings.”  
  
Balthazar’s lips twitched unpleasantly. “I don’t understand you anymore, Cassy. Five years we have been friends and not once have I even attempted to touch your wings because I know how you feel about that sort of thing. And then this idiot shows up—does nothing to earn your trust—and yet you give it freely. You don’t really know anything about him. When he leaves he could tell everyone about you and you could end up being followed by news crews or worse.”  
  
Dean rolled his eyes. “I would never do that. And don’t try to make him feel guilty, okay? They are his wings on his body and he can let  _or not let_  anyone he wants touch them. Just ‘cause you’re jealous…”  
  
Balthazar stepped into his space. “ _Don’t_  tell me what to do or how I feel. I am looking out for my friend; something I am quite sure you know nothing about. When you have crawled back under whatever rock you slithered from I will still be here making sure that he is alright. I would hate to think of him regretting decisions he made just because at the time you seemed shiny and new.”  
  
Of course Dean did not back down. “It must piss you off that he likes me, huh? Well get used to it asshole because I don’t think his feelings are gonna change. And even if they do he’ll never want you. Because you’re a dick.”  
  
Balthazar nodded slowly and without warning, punched Dean in the face. Dean’s head snapped back and he stumbled, his surprise quickly turning to rage. He lunged for Balthazar but Castiel quickly stepped between them, putting both of his hands on Dean’s chest to hold him back. He was not going to have them fighting, especially not over him.  
  
“No Dean.” He said sternly.  
  
Dean balked. “What the fuck! He just fucken sucker punched me! You think I’m gonna let that go?”  
  
Castiel pushed him towards the exit. “Please, Dean. I need to speak with Balthazar alone.”  
  
The look on Dean’s face changed from angry to slightly hurt before he shut down his emotions completely. “Fuck this.” He gritted his teeth and stormed off.  
  
Exhaling deeply, Castiel squeezed his temples and turned to face his friend. “Balthazar you should not have struck Dean. He did not do anything wrong.”  
  
Balthazar busied himself with tidying up or at least the pretense of it. “He pissed me off. I’ve hit others for lesser offences. Honestly Castiel, I do not think he is the man you think he is. And it escapes me why you seem to be so infatuated with him when he is a virtual stranger. What makes him any different than the men who slip you their phone numbers or promise you the world if you run away with them?”  
  
Castiel shoved his hands into his pockets, his wings folding against his back. “I suppose it is hard to understand because you do not know him like I do. We have had quite a few in depth talks about our lives. The persona that he shows is just to divert attention from who he really is. At his very core he is a good if lost young man. More than that I enjoy his company as I think I have mentioned before.”  
  
Transferring the money from the cigar box to a plastic envelop that zipped, Balthazar tossed it onto a table. “More than you’ve ever enjoyed mine apparently.” A beat. “Five years, Cassy. We have known each other for five years and you have never been as candid with me as you are with Dean. I know that you do not always understand basic human interactions but surely you can see why this might be upsetting for me. I assumed we were close.”  
  
“We are close. After Gabriel you are my only other best friend. I value your opinion and I am so thankful for all that you have done for me since coming here.” Castiel explained genuinely. “The last thing I would ever wish to do is upset you or destroy our friendship but I—I cannot manifest the types of feelings for you that you wish for me to have. There were times in the past that I wished I felt the same way but I never have.” The truth often hurt but it was necessary. “Also the fact that I never requested for you to help me with my wings has no bearing on how I view our friendship. It was just—it was just something I wished to share with Dean.”  
  
Balthazar stared at him. “After one month?”  
  
Castiel nodded. “Yes. He is not the horrible person you perceive him to be. You should give him a chance.”  
  
“Heh yes well I doubt that will ever happen.” He sighed. “Answer me this Cassy. What happens to your affections once Dean leaves?”  
  
“I don’t know.” Castiel responded. “I do think about that but… I will miss him whenever he goes but I will not regret our relationship. Whatever the state of it shall be by then. If you are worried about my heart don’t be. I am stronger than a lot of people give me credit for.”  
  
Balthazar huffed and cupped his cheeks. “I  _know_  that Cassy. I just do not want to see you get hurt. You are one of the best people I have ever met and because of that I think you deserve  _the_  best. When  _I_  look at Dean I don’t see that. However I will concede that I  _might_  be a little biased because of my affections for you. First and foremost though I want you to be happy. I can’t pretend to understand how he could possibly make you happy but I will  _try_  to trust your judgment.” He leaned forward and brushed his lips across Castiel’s forehead. “But if he hurts you I will eviscerate him.”  
  
Castiel smiled and grasped his hands warmly with his own. “You have my blessing to do so but I do not think it shall be needed. I  _am_  sorry if I hurt you.”  
  
Pulling away, Balthazar hummed. “I know you are. Besides you didn’t hurt me you’re just being honest. I actually appreciate it.” He grunted and drifted over to the lanterns. “I should get this money to Gabriel before he thinks we’ve run off with it. And I gather you have a few feathers to soothe—pun not intended.”  
  
“You are a remarkable friend, Balthazar.” Castiel smiled. “I really mean that.”  
  
And he did. Obviously Balthazar was a rare breed of person to be able to put aside their anger and heartache for the sake of someone else. A part of Castiel wished that he could rewind back to the time when Balthazar gave him his first kiss and instead of continuing to blink serenely, return it with the enthusiasm it deserved so that he would not have to see his friend in pain right now. But life did not work that way and Balthazar was strong. He would eventually find someone else to want. The one thing Castiel knew for sure however is that whoever that person may be, they were so very lucky.  
  
~*~  
  
Thunder rumbled so loudly that it shook the windows of the small trailer but Dean didn’t mind. He turned on the moth eaten sofa and looked out at the night sky just in time to see purple lightning cut a sharp swath through the darkness. The light breeze from before quickly started to turn into actual wind that jingled the wind chimes at Ava’s tent and skidded Rufus’ lawn chair across the ground. He was sure had it been daytime he’d probably be able to see the rain roaring from across the field. Instead he could hear the tiny pitter pats of it growing louder the closer the downpour got.  
  
As long as the oncoming storm did not turn into a tornado he would be okay.  
  
His cheek bone ached and he was angry. He was fucken vengeful with the urge to go beat Balthazar until he was black and blue. It wasn’t his fault the guy couldn’t handle the truth. Though he wasn’t sure that _was_  the truth anymore.  
  
Also how fucked up was it that he’d gotten beaten up  _more_  out of jail instead of in?  
  
Whatever. Fuck it all. Maybe he should just leave in the morning and not look back. Not like anyone would miss him. Besides if he wanted to be passed over for someone else—someone better—he could get that anywhere. He could get that with Sam but at least Sam would be ditching him for a hot chick and not some asshole with an annoying accent. At least Sam would then fall all over himself to include Dean the next time he and Jessica went antiquing or whatever the hell it was they did.  
  
The lights twitched and he got up, moving into the kitchen to look underneath the sink for a candle or something. He had a flash light on the coffee table but he figured Uriel seemed like the type of guy to at least have one oil lamp sitting around somewhere. Unless he liked to sit in the dark until the power came back on. Thankfully it wasn’t too hot so he didn’t have to worry about needing the air conditioner and baking in the meantime. He wasn’t sure if the electricity was going to conk out but he believed in being better safe than sorry.  
  
He found a lot of matches and old plates with mold which he promptly threw into the trash. Most likely harder than necessary when he heard one shatter from the force; a piece for each screwed up moment of his fractured life.  
  
He washed his hands with liquid dish detergent and dried them on a ratty towel, jumping when a heavy knock sounded at the front door. He crossed the room and opened it not really surprised to see a soaking wet Castiel standing on the other side. The rain had already drenched him from head to toe; his hair black and shiny and sticking to his forehead, his skin glistening with rolling droplets that fell from his eyelashes and nose. His t-shirt stuck to his chest and stomach and he was shivering, holding tightly to a plastic bag.  
  
Dean wanted to turn him away. He wanted to tell him to go back to  _Balthazar_  and just leave him alone. He wanted to leave him out in the pouring rain and slam the door in his face. Stupid Cas would probably let him too. He hadn’t even asked to come in yet he was basically in danger of being struck by lightning or catching pneumonia.  
  
Sighing deeply, Dean stepped to the side and let him in. Stupid gorgeous when wet Cas.  
  
Castiel stood at the beginning of the kitchen tiles, his sneakers squishing with water and causing a puddle. He glanced at the lights when they flickered but said nothing. His wings were nowhere to be seen.  
  
“Did you want something?” Dean asked petulantly. He couldn’t help himself; maybe it was all the brain damage from getting punched in the head too many times.”  
  
“I brought you some candles.” Castiel gestured to the bag. “In case the power goes out. It occurred to me that you most likely did not have any.”  
  
Grumpily Dean took the bag from him and removed the plain votive candles, sitting one in the middle of the small table and lightning it just in case. He combed his fingers through his hair and cursed, grabbing Castiel’s wrist and dragging him into the small bathroom. Castiel of course went without complaint. Dean stripped off his shirt and hung it up on the shower rod. He yanked down a large towel and wrapped it around Castiel’s shoulders, refusing to meet the bright blue eyes that were boring holes into his head.  
  
“I’ll get you something dry to put on.” He fetched his duffle from the floor and rummaged inside, pulling out a dry shirt, a pair of boxers that were too small for him and a pair of drawstring pajama pants. He then shoved them into Castiel’s arms and shut the door to give him some privacy.  
  
He busied himself by pulling out the sofa bed and smoothing down the sheets before flopping down onto the foot of it.  
  
“Dean.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Thank you.”  
  
“Whatever.”  
  
Castiel clicked off the bathroom light and shuffled in the doorway a moment before joining him. “I am sorry if I hurt your feelings earlier. That was not my intention. That will never be my intention.”  
  
Dean snorted. “Yeah that’s usually what they all say. Whatever. I’m fine. I’m not some prissy princess or something and you’re free to do whatever the hell you want.”  
  
Castiel looked at him. “Balthazar has been a good friend to me for a long time. I wanted to explain the situation to him so that he would not continue to think ill of you. I owed him that much.” He slowly put his hand on Dean’s shoulder. “He understands now about my feelings for you. I am sorry if my choosing him appeared to be a slight against you. It wasn’t. I would never do that to you, Dean. I never wish to cause you distress.”  
  
Another clap of thunder sounded and Dean smoothed a hand across his face wearily. “Yeah.”  
  
“I can return to my home if you wish to be alone.” Castiel suggested as if it weren’t storming outside.  
  
“And have you catch bird flu or something? Nah you’re good.” He dug his heels into the carpet a little annoyed that he didn’t want Castiel to go, not really anyway.  
  
Castiel slipped closer and kissed his cheek. “Hopefully this is the last time someone tries to beat you.”  
  
Dean snickered lightly. “That would be nice but somehow I doubt it. So ass hat is gonna cut me some slack from now on?”  
  
Castiel tilted his head to the side. “That I cannot be sure of but I do know he will not hit you again.”  
  
“Not that I’m not thrilled because of how it’s worked out for me, but why didn’t you ever go for him? His dickishness aside he does seem to really care about you.”  
  
“Balthazar is a good friend but I never saw him as anything else. He has a pleasant personality and is quite funny, but romantic feelings never developed on my end. I suppose that is just how these things go sometimes.”  
  
Dean totally got that. “Yeah.” The lights blinked off and Dean held his breath waiting for them to come back on. When they didn’t he got up and lit a few of the other candles, putting them away from anything flammable but where they’d give off the most light. “You okay?”  
  
Castiel nodded. “Yes Dean, the dark does not bother me. However it will be hard getting back to my trailer. There is a good chance I will walk into something and injure myself.”  
  
Dean chuckled; made sure the front door was locked and crawled onto the bed. “Or you could just stay here for the night?” He shrugged. “The bed’s not huge but it’s comfortable.”  
  
Castiel nibbled on his bottom lip and then slowly climbed up beside him, resting his head on Dean’s chest. Dean smiled and threaded his fingers into Castiel’s soft damp hair. “Don’t worry. I promise not to molest you in your sleep. Much.”  
  
Castiel snorted. “I don’t know if I believe you. You  _were_  in jail after all.”  
  
Laughing, Dean shimmed down until they were face to face. “Oh yeah and now I’m practically unable to function in the real world.” He pulled on Castiel’s hair until he tipped his head back, baring his long neck so that Dean could bury his face against it. “A total menace to society.”  
  
“Yes.” Castiel said swallowing hard as Dean started to nip at his skin. “As you have shown many times.”  
  
Dean smirked and closed soft lips over Castiel’s skin and sucked at his neck until the beginnings of a mark started to appear. Castiel breathed deeply and clutched at Dean’s shoulders, twisting his t-shirt into a knot so that it rode up his back. His hands were hesitant when they tripped lower to touch bare skin as if he wasn’t sure the touch was welcomed. Dean rose onto his elbows and grabbed at the collar, yanking it off easily and tossing it to the floor.  
  
“Better?”  
  
Castiel’s eyes were wide and his face was flushed and he looked so beautiful in the flickering candlelight that Dean wanted to scream. He wasn’t even going to let himself  _think_  about the fact that Castiel was wearing his clothes because if he did he might sprout an erection that would punch a hole through the mattress. But it was sexy as hell; like Cas belonged to him or something equally as sappy and possessive.  
  
“I—may I look at you?” Castiel asked. “Up close.”  
  
“God you are so hot.” Dean sat up and made a show of flexing his muscles. “Help yourself though.”  
  
Only Castiel could manage to look amused and impassive at the same time. He wet his lips slowly and smoothed his fingers up Dean’s arm and across his shoulders, down the center of his chest and over to his tattoo. He traced the dark designs and Dean tried not to shiver or let on how much it tickled. Next he was scraping his blunt nails along Dean’s ribs and around his bellybutton.  
  
“I think you would have looked beautiful with wings.” He said, big blue eyes following the path his fingers took. “Black ones though perhaps. Or gold.”  
  
Dean shrugged. “More likely they would have been bat wings.”  
  
Castiel frowned. “Why would you say that?”  
  
Dean met his questioning gaze but ignored it, instead moving between his legs and closing the space between them again. Who wanted to talk about self loathing when you could be making out? He slipped an arm under Castiel’s back and pulled them flush together, swallowing the soft gasp Castiel made when their groins touched. Dean was hard and he was pleased to discover Castiel was as well though he’d gladly back off again if he wanted him to.  
  
He focused on kissing him, on sliding his tongue past Castiel’s smooth lips and tracing the ridge of his teeth. On sucking on his bottom lip until Castiel was squirming and pressing, very slowly, up against him. Dean slid his hands beneath Castiel’s shirt and his muscles jumped but he didn’t pull away so that made Dean a bit bolder. He brushed a finger over Castiel’s nipple, felt it draw up and harden with his touch. Castiel shuddered and broke their kiss, pressing his head back into the pillows.  
  
To say that Dean didn’t get off on knowing he was basically the first person to ever touch Castiel like this would have been a giant lie. He didn’t wanna be  _that guy_  and had usually enjoyed his partners being more experienced but there was something to say for eager and inexperienced as well. Not that he expected to fuck Cas or anything but it was awesome seeing his reactions and knowing they were because of him.  
  
Unwinding the arm around Castiel’s back, he squeezed the toned tight swell of his ass and helped him match Dean’s slow grinding rhythm. Castiel said  _oh_  all breathless and deep, and his legs stiffened before tangling with Dean’s on the bed. Their clothed cocks pressed together; their bodies rubbing with delicious friction that blocked out everything in Dean’s mind that wasn’t about this moment. He wanted to close his eyes and just bask in the pleasure but he couldn’t stop staring at Castiel’s face. His lashes were fluttering and his lips were parted—there was a pretty flush running down both sides of his neck. And his _sounds_ , gaspy little  _ahs_  that shook his chest and curled his body up as if trying to get more of the sensations he was feeling.  
  
If he wanted them Dean wasn’t about to deny him anything. He hadn’t dry humped like this in a long time but seeing Castiel shake apart underneath him—feeling him dig his nails into the back of his shoulders and whimper his name—made it all worth it. Made it wonderful and glorious and something he would do time and time again if Castiel wanted. In the past it had never really been enough but now it was sort of just right. Now it was hotter and sexier and Castiel’s shirt had ridden up so that their stomachs could touch, and Dean wanted to bite at his happy trail before moving much lower.  
  
When Castiel came his eyes flew open and he gripped Dean’s lower back, his hips rocking with Dean’s name a strangled shameless sound escaping his mouth. He seemed shocked by it almost but pleased; panting with kiss swollen lips that Dean couldn’t resist and kissed again. He was close himself with fire rolling through his veins and his pants tighter than they’d ever been before. He dropped his head to Cas’ chest and licked at the sweat collected in the hollow of his throat, drifting over to bite his nipple through his shirt. Castiel arched up with a moan, there was a loud ripping of fabric and his wings shot out apparently of their own volition, destroying the back of his thin t-shirt.  
  
The sight of him—wings trembling, still struggling to catch his breath—made Dean shoot off like a firecracker in his boxers, wetness quickly spreading to his skin and to his jeans but he didn’t care. He grunted his way through his orgasm, clutching Castiels’ ass so hard that he was worried there might be a hand shaped bruise left behind; worried and maybe a little pleased as long as didn’t hurt him. The trailer shook but he honestly wasn’t sure if it was because of the storm or if it was the effect Castiel had on him. All he knew was that he felt dizzyingly good, warm and sated and peaceful.  
  
“Jesus, Cas…” He nuzzled his neck and sluggishly moved to the side to press his face into his feathers.  
  
“That—that was highly pleasurable.” Castiel murmured with limbs loose like jelly.  
  
Dean chuckled and rolled off him, settling gently onto his right wing near the end. “You okay? Too heavy?”  
  
Castiel shook his head. “No they—they’re—you feel good.” He sounded a little dazed; Dean was just cocky enough to get off on that.  
  
Grinning, Dean wrapped his arm around his back and flipped him close so that he nearly sprawled over him. He kissed Castiel’s forehead and sighed deeply, content to ignore the mess in his jeans for a few. From the way Castiel went boneless against him apparently he was content ignoring it as well.  
  
Minutes ticked by quietly with only the sounds of the rain coming down outside before Castiel said, “May I sleep here tonight?”  
  
Dean nodded. “Duh. That was always the plan, dude.” Pause. “I’ll get you some more pjs too in a second.”  
  
Castiel looked down to the wet spot on the front of his (Dean’s) sweats. “Oh yes. Thank you Dean.”  
  
Dean smiled and closed his eyes. “You’re welcome, Cas.”


	9. Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

“You little slut.”  
  
Castiel arched a brow and flexed his fingers around the trigger of the water hose. Winds from the storm had not been as terrible as most expected though there was a bit of cleaning up to do with overturned muddy chairs, dirt covered lanterns and scattered debris. A few of the older tents had rips and tears but nothing that couldn’t be mended with sturdy thread or wires. It was strange but Castiel liked the look of everyone pitching in to help clean up, even Ava who hated getting filth under her nails. It reminded him of the family-like atmosphere they were all enveloped in; everyone pitching in and carrying their own weight. “Good morning to you as well, Gabriel. To what do I owe this lovely greeting?”  
  
Gabriel grinned; he looked a little ridiculous in his wide straw hat, gray garden gloves and rubber galoshes. “Oh don’t gimme that passive blank face, bro. I saw you sneaking out of Dean’s trailer this morning in his  _clothes_.”  
  
Castiel snorted lightly. “I was not  _sneaking_  anywhere. I was simply returning home to make sure everything was okay and for pancake batter so that he could make us pancakes for breakfast. And I was wearing his clothes because my own were still wet from the night before.”  
  
Gabriel shrugged, still grinning. “Okay call it whatever you want but you spent the night with him. Is a  _yay Castiel finally had sex_  cake in order? Do you want lemon or strawberry? Can I make it in the shape of a penis?!”  
  
Biting his lip to hide his smile, Castiel threatened him with the hose. “Not that it is any of your business but Dean and I did not fornicate last night.”  
  
“Uh huh.” Gabriel mused. “So he just mauled your neck by accident? Let me guess! He slipped and fell on your throat and used the suction of his lips to break his fall? I’ve did that before.”  
  
“We did not have sex.” He rubbed at the reddish marks on his skin fondly. “You’re not going to leave me alone until I tell you what we did, are you?”  
  
“Nope! Because I’m nosy and because as your adopted big brother I need to know these things.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“So that I can threaten to rip off his nuts if he hurts you.”  
  
Castiel chuckled and continued washing grits off the lawn chairs. “Disturbing imagery for a lovely sentiment. I think however that I am going to keep the particulars to myself and simply say I had a nice time.”  
  
Gabriel pouted but relented. “Fine!” He put both hands on his hips. “You know I’m happy for you though. I mean Dean seems a little rough around the edges but clearly he likes you.” He tapped at a mud puddle with his boot tip. “And having someone else watching your back is never a bad thing. Not to mention we could all do with a hot strapping young lad every now and then.”  
  
“If you say so.” Castiel yawned. “Balthazar hit him last night.”  
  
Gabriel did not appear surprised by that news at all. “Ah. And it only took him a month to work up to it. I was expecting it after a week of you and Dean eye fucking each other every chance you got.” He giggled at his own joke. “Is Deano okay? Did you kiss his boo boos?”  
  
In all the years Castiel had known him, Gabriel had never changed. He found humor in most situations, even the ones where perhaps he shouldn’t. “Dean is fine. I also had a talk with Balthazar and I think he will at least be civil towards Dean now. I explained to him that I had no control over the feelings I developed for Dean. That said feelings were not a slight against him, and that I still considered him my best friend after you.”  
  
Removing his gloves to scratch at his face, Gabriel nodded. “So I gotta ask…what does Dean have that Balthazar didn’t? I mean poor Balthy has been chasing your skirt since the time he arrived and you haven’t shared more than an awkward smooch with him. Is it the v-neck shirts? Because—ya know—they make him look like a middle aged European prostitute.”  
  
Castiel laughed, a throaty sound that carried across to where Jake and Andy were working, causing them to look over. “Balthazar’s attire had no weight what so ever on my lack of attraction to him. He is perfectly handsome in his own way. But Dean is…Well Dean is  _Dean_.” Pause. “I suppose it is like you and Kali. You could never tell me the exact reasons that you liked her, only that you did. Even when it was slightly dangerous to do so.”  
  
Gabriel smirked. “Yeah but Kali was sexy and ballsy and she carried a switch blade in her purse to fuck up anyone that messed with her. She loved me and that scared the shit out of me, but it was great! Not to mention the sex was explosive! I should give her a call…”  
  
“No. You shouldn’t. She said if you contacted her again she would cut out your heart and feed it to her dog.” Castiel reminded him. “And we both know that she was probably being serious.”  
  
“Yeeeah. But God did she look  _amazing_  naked!”   
  
As Gabriel lapsed into an obvious daydream or memory about his infinitely volatile relationship with Kali—his so called “dark Goddess”—Castiel shook his head and continued the small task he’d assigned himself. After the lawn chairs were free of mud he rewound the hose and tucked it away before grabbing a large metal rake to start clearing up soggy pieces of paper that had blown out of the trash.   
  
He could clearly remember the times when Gabriel and Kali were together because they were loud and more often than not fighting in some way. And he would always wonder why Gabriel continued to spend time with her or why he would call her up after months of breaking free. Gabriel could never really give him a clear answer but he always assumed it was because of their fire. While having never experienced anything himself he figured it did not take a genius to realize while toxic they were also perfect for each other. That their impulsive natures somehow grounded each other.  
  
And Kali had been the first woman Gabriel ever truly cried over when she left.  
  
He and Dean were not so unstable—thankfully—but he felt things with Dean and for Dean that he’d never felt for anyone else. He was still tingling from last night and waking up with Dean curled around him like a vine had been wonderful. Yes he wasn’t a stranger to orgasms and did engage in masturbation when the moment suited him but it was entirely different with a partner. The remembered feeling of Dean solid and heavy on top of him, pressing and rutting against him made goosebumps break out across his skin. He’d been so warm and his hands so strong and knowing. He’d touched Castiel gently but thoroughly, or as thoroughly as he thought Castiel was ready for.   
  
That thought made him snort. Who wouldn’t be ready to be touched by a handsome man?  
  
“Are you even listening to me?” Gabriel snapped his fingers in front of Castiel’s face. “Man, Dean has really done a number on you. He’s got you acting all flighty—I’m so proud! C’mere little fella!”  
  
“Stay away from me.” Castiel stepped aside to avoid his teasing hug. “Shouldn’t you be instructing the others on our clean up mission?”  
  
Gabriel tapped the end of his nose. “Yes but I am having too much fun messing with you. Still you have a point.” Groaning dramatically he fetched a shovel from the side of the farmhouse and used it to scoop up the sodden trash and dump it into the trashcan. “I’m working, see, I’m working!”  
  
Ava screamed and everyone looked over in alarm. “Ah! Frog! It touched me!” She pointed to said frog which was pretty large sitting happily at the edge of a puddle. “Kill it with fire!”  
  
Jake laughed. “Girl calm down. Frogs don’t bite. Well not that I know of anyway.” He strolled over and picked it up, carrying it off towards the field.  
  
“Funny, little miss psychic didn’t see that coming.” Dean snickered walking up, a black bag of garbage in each hand. “But she has a point. This place is gonna be overrun with those fuckers because of the rain. You might wanna get rid of as many as you can before you open again.”  
  
“Andy and Jake will handle it.” Gabriel replied. “So Deano, I heard you had an interesting night last night. Care to share with the class?”  
  
Dean’s brow cocked and he looked at Castiel. “No.”  
  
“Do not pay him any attention, Dean. Gabriel is just attempting to get a rise out of you.” Castiel murmured. “As always.”  
  
Gabriel pushed up the brim of his hat. “Whatever. Dean you break my little Cassy’s heart and I will hunt you down, and destroy you. Are we clear?”  
  
“Sure.” Dean tossed the trash into the back of Rufus’ truck. “Though you’ll probably have to get to me before Balthazar does. Then again he wants to destroy me on principle so…”  
  
Castiel reached over and patted his shoulder. “Everyone is going to be on their best behavior from now on. I will not tolerate anything less.”  
  
“You gonna spank me if I act out?” Dean grinned sliding his arms around Castiel’s waist. “I could be into that I guess as long as I could do you too.”  
  
“I think that is a conversation for later.” Castiel lowered his eyes demurely but he couldn’t get rid of the images. He had never thought about it before but being spanked by Dean actually sounded…interesting. Then he was sure there was a lot Dean could make sound interesting by way of simply being  _Dean_. “If you would be agreeable to it I would like to stay with you again tonight.”  
  
“You don’t gotta ask. I’d never say no.”  
  
“You may wish to be alone sometimes.”  
  
“I’ve been alone for a while now, Cas. It’s nice having someone else around.”  
  
Gabriel pretended to gag. “When it’s too sweet for me you  _know_  it’s bad. Anyway we should—“ A shiny black town car rolling down the rocky path towards them made him cut his sentence short. “Fuck.”  
  
Castiel didn’t have to ask why Gabriel’s suddenly chipper mood had dampened because he was quite aware of who the owner of that vehicle was. They all knew which was why he was not surprised to notice the others staring as well, their expressions closed off yet with traces of repressed anger. Gingerly Castiel nudged Gabriel and the man in question removed his hat, tucking it under his arm and folding them over his chest. His height often made him look less than threatening but Gabriel could be very imposing when he wanted to be. It was all in the eyes; how they could darken from warm gold to hate filled black.  
  
The car curved sideways and then stopped, the driver cutting the soft running engine and getting out. He was young and tall in an expensive suit—clean cut looking—with wheat colored blonde hair and eyes Castiel knew to be blue covered by sunglasses. His steps were sure and light footed as he maneuvered to the back passenger side door and opened it, standing stock still as another man climbed out. This one was older but dressed equally as impeccable, perhaps even more so. He adjusted his dark gray tie and smiled, stepping closer in high-priced shoes.  
  
“Well we meet again. Hello Castiel. Gabriel.”  
  
Gabriel glared at him. “Crowley. What are you doing in these parts? I thought you’d be living the high life in Las Vegas or something.”  
  
Crowley smiled; it should be noted that all of his smiles somehow managed to look like smirks. “I have business deals all over this wonderful country, and sometimes I like to venture out and make sure they are going according to plan. You can’t always trust an underling to do the right thing.” His brown eyes shifted to Castiel. “And how are you Castiel? Still flashing your feathery bits for a meager wage?”  
  
Castiel sighed. There were few people that he honestly didn’t like or outright detested. Zachariah had been at the top of that list for many years…that is until he met Crowley. Fergus Crowley was a smooth talking, very daunting self called entrepreneur. He was wealthy and intelligent and extremely dangerous because he was willing to do whatever it took to get what he wanted. Not to mention he was very good at covering whatever questionable tracks he made.  
  
“My well-being is no concern of yours.” Castiel replied after a moment, his grip on the rake tightening. “And before you can once again say anything, the answer is no.”  
  
Crowley shoved his hands into the pockets of his long coat. “Ah c’mon mate. How do you know I’m going to say something?” Pause. “Maybe I’ve gotten tired of you constantly shooting me down. Even though the only person that is really suffering is you.”  
  
Castiel rolled his eyes. “I am fine.”  
  
“Are you now?” Crowley looked him over. “Still in the same machine washed clothes you were in the last time I saw you and that was months ago.”  
  
“Fuck you those are my clothes.” Dean frowned. “Who the fuck are you anyway?”  
  
Castiel cringed; the last thing he wanted was for Dean to be anywhere near Crowley’s radar. “Dean this is Crowley. He is…somewhat of a businessman I suppose you could say. He has been visiting the Menagerie for quite a while now.”  
  
“Is that really all I am to you?” Crowley fake pouted. “Well  _Dean_  what the lovely Castiel here forgot to mention is that I have a knack for making money  _and_  for noticing a wonderful investment. Naturally a handsome young man that somehow managed to grow wings has the potential to as they say, bring in the big bucks. There are all manner of things Castiel could be doing instead of wasting away here.”  
  
“And how many of those things would be illegal?” Gabriel asked snidely. “Or decent?”  
  
Crowley shrugged. “What makes you think it wouldn’t be decent? I could probably get him a show in Las Vegas at a casino or as a headlining act.”  
  
“Yeah. Or you could rent him to a brothel and take a cut of the proceeds.”  
  
“My my what impure thoughts you have. I’m surprised dear Castiel doesn’t feel threatened with you here.”  
  
“Whatever. Everyone knows you’d sell your mother for a quick buck.”  
  
“Son, actually but that is neither here nor there.”  
  
“You’re a bastard.”  
  
Crowley tilted his head to the side and waved to his driver who ducked inside the car and tinkered for a minute before returning with a glass of alcohol. “Yes well, I’ve told you many times Castiel that you could be very rich if you were willing to go the distance. There are a lot of people who would pay for your brand of…entertainment.”  
  
It was not difficult to detect the hidden meaning in what Crowley was suggesting because he had been  _suggesting_  it from the moment he saw Castiel’s wings. He’d even reasoned out loud once that people would pay for anything given the chance and if it caused them some type of pleasure. People paid to be beaten and gagged, to be defecated on and strangled— _of course_  they would pay if wings were involved somehow.   
  
Besides Gabriel had it on good authority that Crowley “dabbled” in prostitution as well as money laundering and other various questionable things.  
  
“What I do is simple and easy.” Castiel responded. “And it does not hurt anyone. If anything it actually helps people.”  
  
Crowley sipped his beverage. “You would still be helping people, love. You’d be working closely with people, giving them what they really need. And if you did an exceptional job—which I’m sure you would—your reputation would precede you and you’d get even more lovely wonderful people to help.” He gestured to nothing in particular. “I’d have to test your level of commitment of course but, ah well, formalities.”  
  
Dean’s jaw twitched and Castiel knowing him pretty well by now grasped his hand and entwined their fingers together, thinking he would never get tired of Dean’s obvious protectiveness. “I’d rather die penniless than be with you.”  
  
Arching a brow, Crowley glanced to their hands. “I’m sorry, who is this exactly? Another one of Gabriel’s strays naturally but I’ve never seen you so cozy with anyone here before. Are you together?”  
  
“So what if we are?” Dean snapped. “It’s not really any of your business either way.”  
  
“Adorable, isn’t he?” Crowley asked his driver. “Castiel don’t you know fresh faced young boys just end up complicating matters in the long run? Trust me. I know from experience with sweet little Brady here. A flash of hooded eyes and a curl of a charming smile—men greater than us have fallen for less. Besides if you’re in need of satisfaction I could provide it and then some. How do you feel about being videotaped? I have toys.”  
  
“You’re one sick son of a bitch.” Dean growled. “You even think about touching him and I’ll break your face.”  
  
“Am I supposed to be scared by the apparent large stones you possess?” Crowley mused. “Not bloody likely I’m afraid. However I do think it’s cute how sweet you are on Castiel. Downright fascinating to be honest but I get it. He is attractive, has obvious sex appeal and those giant pearly white wings make you want to play out every corrupting fantasy you’ve ever had.” Pause. “You see how easy it would be for you, Castiel? How all the pretty boys and girls would get addicted to your considerable  _charms_. Everyone loves angel cake after having a taste.”  
  
Castiel stepped closer to Dean, telegraphing an outburst. “Leave Crowley. As you can see we have a lot of cleaning up to do and your presence is not helping.”  
  
“Hm alright then. I’ll leave you two tweeting love birds to nest. I’ll just come back later when the show is on.” He slid gracefully back into the car and the tinted window rolled down. “I look forward to seeing your wings again, angel. Feel free to make them all pretty for me. Brady, go.”   
  
No one said anything until the car was heading back towards the road. Gabriel cursed under his breath and stalked over to where Rufus was standing, probably to tell him about the confrontation that had just occurred. Everyone would be on edge tonight. It was very unfortunate; nights where some people did not have electrical power usually meant more were in the market for something to do before returning to their darkened homes.  
  
“Cas, what’s that asshole’s deal?” Dean inquired. “Besides his obvious boner for you.”  
  
Propping his rake against the side of a tent, Castiel grabbed Dean’s hand and lead him to the relative privacy of the farmhouse. He sighed deeply as he sat down on the wooden steps, resting his head to Dean’s shoulder when he joined him. “Crowley is—Crowley is indeed a businessman but I am sure you can grasp that he’s not exactly the CEO of a company. Perhaps at one point but not any longer.”  
  
Dean nodded with a snort. “That’s a damn understatement. So lemme guess he saw your wings and got a big ass creepy crush on you?”  
  
 _Accurate._  “Essentially? Yes. Years ago an elderly man in the area used to make his own alcohol before he passed away. I never tried any but it would knock Gabriel and Balthazar out after only three glasses but they enjoyed it nonetheless. Someone tipped Crowley about it—we all think it was the old man’s grandson, he was an opportunist in every since of the word—so Crowley came to test the merchandise. Satisfied that people would want to imbibe it he commissioned for the old man to make it. I hear he paid handsomely for it.” Wetting his lips, he continued. “When the man got too old to effectively make it anymore, his grandson tried to take over but he didn’t have the same finesse. Still wanting the money he turned to crystal meth instead. To Crowley a profit is a profit. Every so often he would come check on his investment and one time he just happened to stop by the show when I was displaying.”  
  
Dean grunted. “And how did that go?”  
  
“Well at first. He paid one hundred dollars after seeing my wings for the first time. I know it may be hard to believe because of how he reacts now, but I wasn’t on his list in the beginning. I assume I  _was_  but he did not have an idea on how to use me the right way.”  
  
“Oh I’m sure he had an  _idea_.” Dean scoffed.  
  
Castiel smiled. “Yes well, so have others. Anyway there used to be a young man here by the name of Jeremy Frost. He was a gifted hypnotist; he could put people under so deep that they would remember childhood secrets or traumas for days after coming back to themselves. I believe he could even make them do things, sort of like Andy but he wasn’t as jovial about it. When Crowley discovered him he promised him fame and fortune and riches beyond his wildest dreams.” Clasping his hands together in his lap, he thought back to the night Jeremy had packed up his things and climbed into the back of Crowley’s shiny car. “Gabriel tried to reason with him but Jeremy’s mind was made up. He left with Crowley and—and we never saw him again.”  
  
“Did he make it big?”  
  
“No. It is as if he disappeared off the face of the Earth.”  
  
“And you think Crowley did something to him?”  
  
“A few months later it was broadcasted on the news that a body had been found without fingers and teeth, so badly beaten and burned that no one could identify it. Crowley was never mentioned in connection to it but I think everyone sort of knew deep down that he was involved. That the corpse was Jeremy. We all figured that Jeremy wanted to leave but Crowley would not let him and when he tried, he was killed.”  
  
Dean blinked, his face morphing into angry terror. “Jesus, fuck. He sounds beyond dangerous. You should call the cops on him or something.”  
  
A shrug. “And say what? We have no proof that he hurt Jeremy and he doesn’t exactly cause a commotion when he visits.”  
  
“So? Some murdering gangster has the hots for you and you’re just, okay with it?” He shook his head. “What if he tries something?”  
  
Castiel had often thought about that. “He has had ample time to do so but never has. Besides everyone here is a witness to the fact that I do not never wish to go with him. If I ever do it’ll be under complete duress and then we can get the authorities involved. For now we just put up with him when he visits and hope each time is his last.”  
  
“But that’s not good—”  
  
“Dean.” Castiel took his face in his hands, smoothing soft thumbs over splashed on freckles. It was almost a crime how beautiful Dean was, how his features complimented each other so nicely. Gazing at him up close like this reminded Castiel how lucky he was that someone like Dean wanted someone like him. “I know this upsets you but please try to remain calm. Yes Crowley can be dangerous when he wants to be but there is nothing we can do about it. Striking out against him would only endanger us further. If he ever becomes a real threat to me I’ll go where he can’t find me. That has always been the plan.”  
  
Dean’s green eyes narrowed stubbornly. “Fine,” he gritted out. “But if he looks at you funny tonight I’m putting you into the trunk of the Impala and we’re getting the hell out of here.”  
  
And he would gladly go without a fuss. “Yes Dean.” A beat. “However I think it would be prudent to skip the show tonight. Tempers are running too high and I know you would not feel comfortable with Crowley viewing me after the earlier altercation. He says things that I am certain would upset you.”  
  
“They don’t upset you?”  
  
“Not anymore. I have been dealing with him for a while now.”  
  
Pinching the bridge of his nose, Dean huffed. “Okay so we’ll hide out in my trailer then until everyone is gone home so that we don’t have to deal with that sleazy British fuck. I actually like that idea. I’ll whip us up some dinner and then we can watch a movie or something if the power is back on.”  
  
“You make it sound so normal.” He said but he was smiling.  
  
Dean chuckled. “Isn’t it?”  
  
“Perhaps. It is just not what I am used to.” His face was blank. “Before you came I would spend my nights alone reading in my trailer. It’s not as sad as it sounds; I love reading.”  
  
“Mmhm. But you’d rather spend your nights making out with me.” Dean winked and slapped his thigh. “Alright I’m gonna finish my clean up duty and let you break the news to Gabriel that we’ll be hiding out tonight.”  
  
Castiel nodded and quickly kissed his cheek before he stood, amused that Dean ducked his head—as if embarrassed—and walked away to where more bags of trash waited to be picked up.  
  
 _Crowley._.  
  
Upon a glance Crowley did not appear to be that threatening such as the way he behaved earlier. But Castiel and the others knew different. He was charming and almost gracious as long as he was getting what he wanted. However the moment you stopped amusing him or being useful to him, it was like he would become possessed by a demon and absolutely be someone you should fear. He was ruthless and had no issues intimidating those you cared about to get what he wanted.   
  
Some distant part of Castiel’s mind always wondered if that is how he tempted Jeremy away. He just didn’t wish to believe that Jeremy would willingly go with someone like Crowley on the off chance of being famous. But like all of them Jeremy had been running from something; an abusive father that liked to hit him with a baseball bat when he “disobeyed”. Maybe he thought Crowley could give him the power to eventually return home and humiliate his father. He talked about it often enough that everyone knew it was a not so secret dream of his. Also it should be said that Jeremy was somewhat…erratic. He never felt that Gabriel and the others were his family no matter what they said or did. Because of this he acted out and caused trouble but Gabriel—with his big heart and compulsion to do the right thing, mostly—always gave him another chance.  
  
It would not be surprising to learn one day that Jeremy perhaps got insolent with Crowley and that lead to his demise. Or maybe he learned something he shouldn’t. Either way most believed him to be dead and Crowely the cause. They were just lucky he did not live near them.  
  
Castiel had never once entertained the notion of “working” for Crowley. While he was sure he would probably make him rich beyond his wildest dreams, he was well aware that the wealth would come with a price he was very unwilling to pay. And it wasn’t like Crowley was that secretive about his plan to turn him into a high priced whore that specialized in fetishes. After of course having a go at him himself. He’d once tried to actually  _romance_  Castiel and when that hadn’t worked he’d resorted to bribery, figuring that Castiel had a price he just needed to find out what it was. He’d been wrong. Yet he had not given up over the years. Who knew what else he had up his sleeve by now?  
  
At least he would be leaving after tonight and they would not have to worry about him for a while.  
  
~*~  
  
Dean wasn’t what you would call a people person. He liked people—in theory—but a lot of the time he found them to be annoying as fuck. Either they were too stupid to function or they were giant assholes stepping on the less fortunate to make it rich. Sure there were some exceptions but he personally found them to be few and far between. There were far more  _Zachariahs_  than  _Gabriels_  in his experience. And now there was Crowley. Wanting to get into Castiel’s pants Crowley.  
  
 _Makes me wonder if that is a British thing._  
  
As fucked up as it seemed he kinda got it. Castiel was like, magic. He had goddamn wings and soul piercing blue eyes; it’s like everything about him had been designed to make you want him. To make you wanna be his friend or to fuck him senseless. It just sucked that the kinda people who wanted to do him were also the kinda people like Crowley.  
  
Even though Dean knew full well that Castiel could take care of himself he didn’t like the thought of one day riding off towards California and leaving him alone. Yeah Balthazar would continue to be around in his creepy stalking sorta way but it wasn’t enough. Besides Balthazar was old and he was liable to break a hip attempting to beat up some moron that overstepped his balance. Yet he couldn’t stay here forever and he couldn’t ask Castiel to go with him. Could he? Was he even ready for that? He didn’t believe in talking about your relationship but he knew Cas would want some kinda confirmation on what they were. At best he figured they were dating; not like he went around dry humping everyone.  
  
Not anymore at least.  
  
Snickering at his own thoughts, he wrung out the dishtowel and left it in the sink. If Cas brought it up he’d grudgingly talk about it but if not, well, they’d just coast and let things unfold.  
  
Drying his hands, he strolled over to the sofa bed and crawled up onto the mattress, nuzzling his face underneath Castiel’s ear. Did he have to smell so good? “So what did you think of the movie?”  
  
“I enjoyed it though I found the title to be a bit misleading. There were no actual  _star wars_ ; it was all spaceships and light sabers.” He said, totally serious. “However the special effects were impressive for the time period. I’d imagine they would be even more so if there were to be a remake.”  
  
“Yeah but they’d never remake Star Wars. It’s too much of a classic.” Dean stretched out on his back. “And if they do remake it I hope I’m dead so that I won’t have to hear about it.”  
  
Castiel laughed. “I did not know it was that serious.” Rolling over, he propped himself up onto an elbow. “I would like to watch other movies that you enjoy with you.”  
  
Dean nodded. “Sure.” His eyes flickered to his watch. “Think that asshole has stopped by already?”  
  
Castiel shook his head. “Probably not. Gabriel would come and tell me that if he had.” Tilting his head to the side, he caressed Dean’s cheek. “You are so beautiful, Dean. I know that makes you uncomfortable but it is the truth.”  
  
His face heated up and he looked away. “Yeah yeah.” Smirking, he poked Castiel in the side. “You’re just saying that so you can get in my pants,” he teased.  
  
Castiel’s brows narrowed for a second and then cleared. “I am already in your pants and they are too big.” He yanked at his belt. “But comfortable.”  
  
Dean laughed because  _really_ , could a grown man be more damn adorable? “You’re funny. And clever.”  
  
“Yes. I am both those things.” Castiel kissed his nose. And then his eyelids. “I suppose I must be for you to be interested in me.”  
  
“I think you’ve got that backwards. There must be  _something_  about me that’s cool if you’re here with me.” He hunched his shoulders. “What that is, I don’t know. Besides my amazing good looks of course.”  
  
“You should stop devaluing yourself. There is nothing wrong with acknowledging the things that make you wonderful.”  
  
“Such as?”  
  
“Your compassion. Your bravery. Even your possessive nature.”  
  
“My  _possessive nature_? What does that mean?”  
  
“Well you have come to see me—not only as a good friend—but as yours. I think that is why Balthazar felt the need to confront you. You tend to touch me and my wings as if they belong to you.”  
  
“Shit. I’m sorry dude—”  
  
“No I like it because it’s not the perverse possession that came from Zachariah. It’s because you care about me and want me to be safe.”  
  
Dean squirmed; he didn’t think he would ever be someone that was okay with bare emotions. Maybe if he ever had kids. At least he hoped he’d be able to give his kids unconditional love and not clam up if they needed to talk. “I’d be a dick if I wanted otherwise.”  
  
Castiel hummed in response and pecked his lips before settling back down to stare at the ceiling. Dean could hear the chatter of the people outside and it made him think about Crowley again, wondering if the bastard was slithering around somewhere. He would never understand people like him; how they were fueled to do horrible things. Sure he wanted to be rich so that he’d never have to work again but not at the expense of someone else.  _Especially_  not at the expense of Cas. He could never sell out Cas or Ava or Jake or any of them for that matter.  
  
There was a small chance he was actually a decent human being.  
  
Stretching and arching his body until bones popped and his shirt rode up to flash golden skin, he shifted onto his side, blinking at the sight of Castiel watching him intently. His unwavering gaze should have been intrusive and it kinda was but it was also flattering. And calming. Like as long as Castiel was around he would look at him that way, and Dean would realize that someone gave a fuck about him. Deep, deep down he’d always sort of known that was important but he had never let himself  _really_  focus on it. Who had time to worry about their own feelings when they had a house to run and a little bratty brother to look after?  
  
They didn’t say anything just stared at each other for what could have been five whole minutes.   
  
“Cas?”  
  
Castiel smiled and since it was always guaranteed to make Dean smile as well he didn’t push down the reaction when it happened. He  _smiled_  and wrapped an arm around Castiel’s waist, drawing him closer so that he could kiss him. They hadn’t been doing it long but Dean wasn’t surprised that Castiel was a quick learner. That he quickly figured out what he liked and what Dean liked as well. A sure fire way to get Castiel all weak in the knees was to bite his bottom lip and then sooth it with tongue. Dean wouldn’t be  _Dean_  if he didn’t abuse that a little bit.  
  
He bit and soothed and sucked until Castiel was squirming against him, gasping and tugging at his shirt, trying to get closer. Dean slid one hand up into his hair—he fucken loved Cas’ hair, it was softer than should be allowed and silky, the strands falling through his fingers effortlessly. He pulled on it and Castiel whimpered and dragged his bare foot up his ankle. He could be very low key and rigid but when they were getting physical it was as if he came alive. Castiel  _enjoyed_  being physical with Dean and that made Dean very happy.  
  
After what seemed like forever, Castiel put both hands on Dean’s chest and pushed a little. His lips were red and swollen and there was a lovely blush to his cheeks while his hair was completely dishelved but ultimately extremely sexy. “Dean.”  
  
“Yeah?” Dean inquired. His face was tingling from Castiel’s stubble. “Wanna go check and see if Crowley has visited yet?”  
  
Castiel shook his head. “No. I am not worried about Crowley. May I be candid with you?”  
  
He nodded. “Sure. Nothing has ever stopped you before.”  
  
“I know you are not fond of overly emotional moments but it is no secret that I like you. That I have never behaved with anyone else the way I behave with you. As far as I am concerned you are the first person to ever touch my wings.” Castiel cupped his neck with both hands. “I would like to share all of my firsts with you if that is alright.”  
  
Dean arched a brow. “Um, when you say firsts..?”  
  
“I mean copulation, yes.” Castiel blinked at him sincerely. “Sex.”  
  
“Heh yeah I kinda got that.” Dean chuckled. “Cas I…I don’t know man. I mean it’s not that I don’t want to because— _fuck_ —do I want too but we haven’t known each other long and this is supposed to be a big deal.”  
  
“It is a big deal. When I have thought about losing my virginity in the past it was always to a faceless man and it was adequate. However now whenever I think about losing my virginity it is always to you.” Pause. “The duration of our relationship has no bearing on my decision. You have had one night stands with people you just met; whose names you might not have known. But you know me and  _I_  know you, and I trust you. Furthermore I  _want_  to be with you. I want to experience you in the most intimate way that a person can experience another. Would you deny me this?”  
  
Dean exhaled shakily; as far as dirty talk went it wasn’t top notch but Castiel’s low baritone could make anything sound sexy so he wasn’t too shocked when his cock twitched. He could think of a hundred reasons to  _deny_  Castiel with number one being that he didn’t feel he was good enough for what he wanted. Castiel should be with some educated doctor that lived in a mansion and drove a nice car, not some high school drop out that served time in jail. Yet even as he thought that shit he knew no one would treat Castiel the way he treated him. Not even the love sick Balthazar.  
  
And maybe it was selfish—it was, it  _so_  was—but he couldn’t help himself. He wanted to be Cas’ first. He wanted to show him how good sex could be and feel. He wanted to take him a part and own a little piece of him. He wanted to make promises with his skin that he wasn’t sure his mouth could ever utter. Not because it didn’t want to but because it had been trained not to.  
  
Dean had never taken anything for himself before so he would take Castiel for the both of them.  
  
“Okay, Cas. Okay.” He whispered. “Let’s…experience the hell out of each other.”  
  
Castiel laughed and reached for him. “I do so love your way with words.”  
  
Dean kissed him fiercely and after that it was simply a matter of getting undressed. Dean took great pleasure in stripping Castiel out of  _his_  clothes, throwing them to the floor while Castiel chuckled and arched his hips so that Dean could remove his jeans and briefs. As more and more soft skin was revealed to his green eyes Dean couldn’t remember why he’d put up a fight against this in the first place. He licked and sucked hickies into Castiel’s chest; reddish bruises under nipples and on his collar bone. He zeroed in on a lone freckle by a nipple and proceeded to mark it. If he could he would have written his name over it and deemed it  _his_  freckle forever.  
  
Castiel’s skin tasted warm and fresh and clean. He watched Dean kiss his way across his smooth stomach and down along his sharp hipbones with hooded eyes, his slender fingers gripping tightly at the sheets. Dean nuzzled at his strong thigh and nipped at the soft inner flesh, smirking when Castiel jiggled it. Wetting his lips, he looked at Castiel’s cock where it stood hard and flushed, the tip already wet with beads of pre-come. There had only been a few scarce times when Dean felt like he had to suck a cock; he could count them on one hand and even then he hadn’t been struck by it like he was with Castiel. He _needed_  to do this for Cas, and for himself.  
  
Slowly he licked the head of Castiel’s cock and shivered when he moaned and lifted off the bed. Dean gently pinned him down and slid his mouth down the length of him as far as he could go; sucking with an acute perfectionism that he couldn’t ever remember using. But he wanted Castiel to love this. He wanted Castiel to remember this for years and years, to never forget how it felt to have his lips stretched around him. To never forget the wet heat of his mouth. Because Dean was good at this and he wanted to prove it.  
  
He started up a nice rhythm, using his hand to cover what he couldn’t manage to take in. He dragged his tongue around the head and dipped it into the slit before sucking once again, his eyes locked on Castiel’s face as he whimpered and tried to thrust up over and over again. He looked amazing; head thrown back in ecstasy, chest heaving and thighs trembling. His fingers carding through Dean’s hair and grabbing on as much as he could. He pulled a little and Dean hummed, and the vibrations around his dick made Castiel cry out loudly.  
  
“Dean, Dean!” He gasped digging his heels into the mattress. “I’m c—close. I’m—”  
  
Reluctantly Dean pulled off; grinning at the whine of protest he received. He kissed Castiel’s knee and bounded off the bed over to his duffle, rummaging around inside quickly for the condoms and lube he’d bought on a whim before leaving Kansas. He returned and Castiel gazed at him with hot eyes tracking the dips and lines of his body. He reached out and touched Dean’s stomach, his fingers then trailing low and wrapping around his dick. Dean faltered and thrust into his loose fist, relishing the sensations for a minute and then gently pulling back.  
  
Castiel pouted. “I want to touch you.”  
  
“Got plenty of time for that later, Cas.” Dean said grinning. “Otherwise this is gonna be a short  _experience_.”  
  
Castiel rolled his eyes playfully. “Keep that up and I will change my mind.”  
  
Dean knew he was joking but it spurred him into action to make sure Castiel was too  _out of_  his mind to change it. He popped open the bottle of lube and coated his fingers, trying to shake the tiny bit of nerves that wanted to challenge him. So what it had been a while since he’d done this? Wasn’t it just like riding a bike?  
  
Covering Castiel again he kissed him softly and pressed a finger against him, giving him enough time to say no if he wanted. Castiel however just closed his eyes and gripped his shoulders. Dean pushed a slick finger into him and Castiel shuddered but visibly tried to stay relaxed even when his muscles tensed.  
  
“Cas?” Dean whispered. He moved his finger slowly, opening him up, adding a second when he felt he could take it. Going a bit faster when he felt he could take it. He tried not to focus on the tightness or the heat or how he would be  _there_  soon. “Your wings. Let them out.”  
  
“Dean I—”  
  
Dean twisted his fingers just so and Castiel  _moaned_ , body bucking off the bed of its own volition. “C’mon baby. Let me see them.” Another twist, another press of fingers on the right spot and Castiel shouted, back arching as his wings burst into existence with stray feathers raining down around them. “Fuck that’s hot.”  
  
“Dean, please.” Castiel humped against thin air and rode his hand. “I’m—I’m ready. Please.”  
  
“Yeah just—fuck.” Dean swallowed hard, rolled the condom and applied more lube while his eyes were glued to Castiel’s wings. He was laid out like some kinda slutty otherworldly being and it was one of the most beautiful things Dean had ever seen in his entire life. “Stop me if—if you need too, okay?”  
  
He held tight to Castiel’s hips and carefully pushed into him, and the feel of him (even with the condom) was downright glorious. He was happy to take a moment to let Cas adjust once he was buried to the hilt so that he could get his shit together and not come like a fucken teenager after only three seconds. Castiel on the other hand looked wrecked but content with his wings stretched out as far as they could go. When Dean was sure that he had more control, he buried his hand into a mass of soft feathers and began to thrust.  
  
Castiel was vocal and eager for it—half begging for it. He caught onto Dean’s rhythm and matched it, curling his strong legs around Dean’s waist and squeezing him, trapping him, not that Dean would ever try to get away. He couldn’t take his wide eyes off Castiel’s face and how it showed every ounce of emotion that he was feeling; from fluttering lashes to parted lips. Dean wanted it all.  
  
“Holy shit you’re gorgeous, Cas.” Dean groaned, sliding in and out of him fluidly now. “So fucken gorgeous.”  
  
“Dean this is—you feel—more…” He whimpered; one hand latching onto Dean’s shoulder as the other trailed down to grab his ass.  
  
Dean kissed his sweaty neck. “I got you Cas. I got you.”   
  
He rolled his hips and changed the angle, knowing he’d hit the jackpot when Castiel all but screamed and his right wing curved inward to brush Dean’s lower back and thighs. The softness of all those feathers stroking him made Dean’s head spin. He’d been worried that this position might hurt Castiel’s back but obviously that wasn’t the case. He was into it, becoming blissed out and tense as his orgasm roared closer.  
  
Dean reached between them to where Castiel’s cock was trapped and wrapped his fingers around it, stroking him easily in time with his thrusts. Castiel’s body arced towards him like a bow as  _oh, oh Dean, yes_  fell from between his lips repeatedly almost like he had no real clue what he was saying. His skin was glistening with sweat and strands of dark hair were sticking to his forehead. His nails dug into the skin of Dean’s shoulder as Dean started to fuck him in earnest; long powerful driving thrusts that shook the flimsy mattress they were laying on.  
  
“C’mon Cas. That’s it, fuck Jesus. So fucken hot.” Dean babbled deliriously.  
  
When Castiel came it moved through his entire body shaking his legs and stiffening his wings. His muscles tightened around Dean from the inside and his cock spurted across Dean’s hand and he had a look of total rapture on his face that Dean had never seen before. He knew he was good in bed but Castiel made him feel like some sort of wanton sex God with his sweet sounds and the way he gave himself over to Dean so completely.  
  
With Castiel squeezing tight around him and bucking beneath him it didn’t take Dean long to find his own release. It more or less hit him like a freight train and he groaned loudly, the pumping of his hips turning frantic and erratic as he sought to wring out every single bit of pleasure that he possibly could. He thought he would black out from the how extraordinary it felt and just clutched any part of Castiel that he could reach; eyes squeezed shut and head reeling.  
  
He collapsed onto Castiel what could have been hours later—though he knew that wasn’t the case—sweaty and breathless. He licked his lips and kissed Castiel’s chin, nuzzling under his jaw and cooing nonsense words into his ear.  
  
“Are you okay?” Dean’s voice was gruff. “Did I—was I too rough?”  
  
Castiel opened his eyes and they were so  _fucken_  blue and so full of emotion that Dean could hardly look into them. “You were perfect, Dean.” Castiel’s voice was deep as well, a sandpaper rasp stuck in his throat. “That—that was perfect.”  
  
Dean nodded and rested his cheek to Castiel’s shoulder, his mind buzzing with thoughts. “Good. That’s good.” He sighed when delicate feathers caressed his skin from all sides, knowing he should move but not wanting to. Not just yet. He was warm and safe, and it was a feeling he never wanted to lose or forget.  
  
“Are you okay?” Castiel asked, threading his fingers through Dean’s damp hair.  
  
Dean nodded again. “I’m—” His throat closed over the words and he exhaled deeply. He was so close to asking for something that he knew he couldn’t have. So close to asking if he could keep Castiel forever. “I’m…perfect too.”


	10. Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten

Daylight streaming against dingy white blinds woke Dean up the next morning and he yawned, digging into his eyes with the heel of his hand. The inside of the trailer was cool but underneath the blanket and Castiel’s wing was warm, so he snuggled down and checked his watch. Nine-thirty AM—no reason to get out of bed just yet. He glanced to where Castiel was curled against him, his head resting comfortably on Dean’s chest and gently kneaded the base of his wings, smiling when Castiel purred and cuddled closer.  
  
Dean was happy. It was such a little thing to realize but honestly he couldn’t remember the last time he was _truly_ happy. Probably before his mom died when things were easy and he had his whole life to look forward to. With her death came sorrow and responsibility and repressed grief that he was sure he’d ever really get over. Things could have gone so differently if John had just held it together. Though he didn’t blame his dad; well he _did_ but he was smart enough to understand that John had his own demons to face back then. He just hadn’t done a very good job of it.  
  
But things weren’t so terrible. Sam was addicted to being on the straight and narrow now thanks to Ruby and her crazy ass self and they were probably going to be better brothers because of the whole jail thing. There was a chance he could make something out of himself if he tried—community college or something. Of course just getting a nice, good paying job working with his hands would be good too.  
  
None of that had anything to do with why he was happy. _Castiel_ was why he was happy. Castiel had given him something that he had only dreamed of ever having; a true friend. Yeah Sam was his friend and even Rufus was his friend, but with Cas it was so astoundingly different that it rattled his bones. Castiel let him grieve and be stubborn and overly caring. He let him worry and fret before soothing him with calm words. Much of Dean’s life whenever he’d actually said what was on his mind he would be told to just _suck it up_ and move on. Showing anything other than a strong front meant that he was weak. He still for the most part felt that way but he realized that he could probably burst into tears and Castiel would just hold him. Hell he _had_ cried in front of him and that is exactly what Castiel had done.  
  
 _What the hell does he see in me? What do I really bring into his life?_  
  
Cas said he liked him because he was brave and loving. Out of all the things to be ingrained into his brain those were most likely the ones he was most proud of. And he wouldn’t lie; one of the reasons that he felt so protective of Castiel is because of how he acted. The confused tilts of his head and the little furrow between his brows when he didn’t understand something that other people naturally knew; Dean understood that the world was a fucked up place and innocent people like that would be ripped apart, maybe even for fun. Castiel was _too good_ for that kinda shit and Dean was obnoxious enough that he felt _he_ was the only person who could truly shelter Cas from it.  
  
How could he do that though in California? ‘Cause yeah the truth of the matter was he had to leave eventually even if he didn’t want to. He had to make sure Sam was okay and give them an honest chance at repairing their fucked up relationship. That was something that could only be done face to face, not during an hour long phone call where they just updated each other on how their week had gone.  
  
It scared him—much as he hated admitting that even to himself—the thought of leaving Castiel alone. And he wouldn’t even really be alone. Maybe he could visit a lot…  
  
Frowning, he sighed and smoothed his left hand along the wing draped over his body. He scratched at the feathers and brought them closer to his face, rubbing them against his cheeks. They smelled like the heavy air after a rainstorm.  
  
Castiel’s voice startled him when he spoke. “Dean, is something wrong? You’ve become tense.”  
  
“I’m sorry, Cas.” Dean apologized. “I hadn’t noticed. Didn’t mean to wake you.”  
  
“Hm.” Castiel murmured and rubbed his stomach. “What are you thinking about?”  
  
Dean bit his bottom lip. It wasn’t exactly something he wanted to get into. “Just…the future I guess. What’ll happen next week or next month.”  
  
Castiel kissed his shoulder. “You mean when you leave?”  
  
Dean grunted; of course Cas would know precisely what was bothering him. “Yeah.”  
  
“I have been thinking about that since the night we first kissed. Perhaps even before.” Castiel revealed, his voice still sleep soft. “California is such a long distance away and I do not own a celluar phone. I suppose we could write letters once you are settled but they could always get lost in the mail.” Pause. “That is if you would even want to keep in touch with me?”  
  
“Of course I would, man.” Dean said vehemently. “Hell if you want I’ll buy you a phone and keep minutes on it for you so that we can talk. I don’t mind.”  
  
Castiel smiled. “That would be nice. However I think the most prudent action for me to take is to go with you to California. If you asked that of me of course.”  
  
Blinking Dean wondered if he’d heard him wrong. He _did_ still feel sort of sexed out and goofy. “What? Wh—why would you say something like that?”  
  
Castiel rolled his eyes. “Do not be obtuse, Dean. Surely you know why I would say such a thing.” He picked at his own feathers as if shy. “My time with you has been the best of my life and I am not ready for it to end. I am still young and there is still so much more to do. Remember, I said that I wanted _all_ of my firsts to be with you. That cannot happen if we are separated.”  
  
Yes Dean got that and he would be lying if he said it wasn’t what he wanted as well. But a part of it just didn’t make sense. “I know that bird brain I just meant—I dunno! Your whole life is here. Your friends are here. Your job is here. It might not be flashy but it’s comfortable.” He kissed Castiel’s hair. “If you came with me we’d be crashing with my brother for who knows how long until we could get our own place. Not to mention his girlfriend. And we’d need like, regular jobs. I mean I could get one—you wouldn’t have to, I’d support you—but it wouldn’t just _happen_.”  
  
“How traditional. Well I suppose I do not mind keeping the house in order while you bring home the bacon though I do have quite a few skills. I was home schooled very thoroughly.” Castiel teased lightly, pinching Dean’s side. “The important thing to remember here Dean is that we would be _together_. I like my life here, yes, but I want to be with you. I want to take care of you like you take care of everyone else. We’d make each other very happy.”  
  
“You already make me happy.” Dean played with his hair, giving the wayward strands a little tug. “I don’t want you to end up regretting your decision and resenting me.”  
  
“I won’t.”  
  
“Cas you don’t know that. Shit happens.”  
  
“So what would you have me do, Dean?”  
  
“Just be happy.”  
  
“And you would be alright with me finding that happiness with someone else after you leave?”  
  
“Uh-huh…”  
  
Castiel lifted his head so that he could look Dean in the eyes. “You would be alright with me sharing this with him?” He gestured to their naked bodies nestled together. “And my wings as well?”  
  
Dean gritted his teeth. _No no no no no._ “If—if that is what you wanted.”  
  
Castiel shook his head. “I want _you_. Stop being selfless for my benefit and let me make my own decisions. If you want me with you then I shall be with you.” Sitting up completely, he shook out his wings and stretched them wide open, the very tips brushing against the ceiling. “I appreciate that you are considering my welfare but I am not a child, Dean. Besides if we do find that we cannot make things work between us in California I know you would help me to return here.”  
  
Dean smoothed a hand over his face and then brushed tiny thin feathers off his chest. He would, he _so_ would. “You’re not losing your wings now because I fucked you, right?”  
  
“No!” Castiel laughed and drew them in around his shoulders. “They just got a bit of a work out last night. But leaving them out all night did wonders for my muscles.”  
  
“And me sleeping on one didn’t hurt?” Dean watched them move.  
  
“No.” Castiel inched one forward until it rested under Dean’s chin. “They are stronger than they appear. It felt nice to cradle you while we slept. It is something I would like to do more of.”  
  
Dean snickered and propped up the pillows, leaning back against them. He brought the wing closer and kissed into the smooth feathers, inhaling their so clean smell. “How do you keep these things so freaken white and clean? I haven’t seen you wash them since I’ve been here.”  
  
Touching the finger shaped bruises on his hip with quiet reverence, Castiel grinned. “I can wash them in the shower. I pour shampoo or what have you over them and then let the water rinse it away. I must admit it is a chore but since they hardly get dirty a simple rinse usually does the trick.” Biting his lip and looking up through his long dark lashes, he floated onto Dean’s lap and kissed him.  
  
Dean immediately put his hands on Castiel’s ass and squeezed, pulling him closer. “Feeling frisky?”  
  
Castiel’s cheeks pinked. “Yes. I am sore but perhaps if we go slow…”  
  
“I can do that. Get you nice and slick for me.” Looking down, Dean wrapped a hand around Castiel’s semi hard cock and began to stroke. “You wanna ride me this time?”  
  
“I—yes.” Castiel gasped, arching into the touches. “O—oh that fe—feels good.”  
  
With his free hand Dean reached to the small side table and snatched up the bottle of lube (and another condom) from last night. “Gonna make you feel even better in a bit.” He flipped open the cap and finagled the bottle until it was pouring lube into his palm and across his fingers.  
  
Castiel’s wings beat the air, ruffling the curtains and any scrap of paper that wasn’t held down. Even Dean’s hair moved.  
  
“ _Dean_.” Castiel dropped his head onto Dean’s shoulder as one of his fingers teased Castiel’s hole before slowly pushing inside. He was still wet and loose from last night but Dean took care opening him up anyway, liking the way Castiel swayed between thrusting into his fist and back onto his hand.  
  
The sex was slower, almost lazy with Dean letting Castiel control the speed and the rhythm. He kissed all over Castiel’s neck and shoulders, dipped down to lick his nipples and his favorite freckle, smirking when Castiel’s hips wavered in their smooth steady roll. And then Cas’s wings draped forward and curved around his shoulders surrounding him in a cocoon of heat, and Dean held on to him for as long as he could.  
  
~*~  
  
It was almost noon when Castiel finally left Dean’s trailer to seek out Gabriel. He was freshly showered and fed and bundled in another of Dean’s cotton shirts. As he walked towards the souvenir booth that Gabriel usually haunted he thought about the previous night and could not stop the tiny smile from gracing his lips. He was no longer a virgin. While he didn’t wish to dwell on what a milestone it was, he couldn’t help but sort of understand the importance placed upon the act itself. Perhaps that made him sound like a teenage girl; Gabriel would no doubt say so if he ever found out. However last night he had given himself to someone else completely for the first time ever and it made him feel different.  
  
Physicalities aside of course.  
  
The point was that he had cared about someone and trusted someone enough to partake in sexual congress with them (twice!), and it was a big step. It meant that he had a deeper relationship with Dean even though he was obviously struggling to put his affections into words. But that just made him want Dean even more. His flaws were embedded into him because of a life of being ignored and told to toughen up, yet every little crack in his fixture let all of the love and goodness that he held shine through.  
  
Castiel wanted to prove to him that he was a good person. That while he was busy being selfless to everyone else there was someone out there that wanted to be selfless for him.  
  
It would be odd at first, leaving behind the only real home he’d ever known but he was willing to do it for Dean. It wasn’t always easy but he still managed to have faith most of the time and he could not ignore the voice inside of him saying he’d be so very happy with Dean. That they would have a nice future together. Dean was worried about finances but Castiel wasn’t. He’d been saving since the first day he ever got paid to show his wings. And he was also not worried about ever resenting Dean for not giving him the life he assumed Castiel wanted. As long as Dean continued to care for him and was not unfaithful he did not foresee any future issues.  
  
Humming lightly to himself as he contemplated perhaps attempting to fly again later, he crossed the muddy ground over to the wooden stand to find Gabriel sitting on his stool reading the newspaper. He glanced up when Castiel walked into view and grinned. “Hi Castiel.”  
  
“Hello Gabriel.” Castiel arched a brow. “You seem unusually chipper this afternoon.”  
  
Gabriel shrugged. “What? I can’t be in a good mood?”  
  
Castiel sighed. “Of course you can. I am happy that you are feeling good.”  
  
“How are you feeling?” Gabriel smirked with twinkling eyes. “You know I came by Dean’s trailer last night to tell you that Crowley never actually showed up. But I realized after a few minutes that you were busy.”  
  
Castiel’s expression went blank. “Oh?”  
  
Gabriel laughed. “I love it when you go all stone faced. _Yes_ Cassy I heard you praising Dean’s trouser monkey but there is nothing to be ashamed of. You and Dean shared a beautiful act.” Pause. “So how big was it?”  
  
 _Oh, Gabriel._ “That is none of your concern.”  
  
Gabriel poked him in the shoulder. “Big huh? Good for you! Seriously I’m glad that you’ve found a guy you like.”  
  
“Thank you.” Castiel folded his arms over his chest. “So Crowley did not arrive last night?”  
  
“Nope. We waited but the asshole never showed. Guess he realized with you knowing he was coming that you’d duck out.”  
  
“Maybe. Either way I am relieved. Dean does not like him.”  
  
“No one likes him. I’m pretty sure the guys who work for him don’t like him either.”  
  
“Thank you for keeping a watchful eye out. If I had known he was not going to come by I would have worked.”  
  
“Yeeeah I’m sure you got a work out either way.” Gabriel winked at him. “Especially if those hickeys are any indication. Don’t let Balthazar see those. He might go into a rage at the thought of Dean plucking your precious flower before he could and beat him with a shovel.”  
  
Castiel snorted. “He will do nothing of the sort.” Running a hand through his hair, he stepped closer to the booth and touched the weather beaten wood. “I am not talking about this with you but last night was fantastic. I am happy that I did not listen to you and fornicate just to simply experience the act itself.”  
  
Folding up his paper now that he was done with it, Gabriel made it into a hat. “Hey I was just trying to help you out, bro! Figured if you got plowed you’d loosen up.” He eyed Castiel speculatively. “Still can’t decide if I was right or not.” Shrugging, he sat the paper hat on his head. “Dude! Did you whip out your wings while you and Dean were going at it?”  
  
Castiel _blushed_ and his back twitched. He knew it was a bad idea to engage Gabriel. “I’m leaving now.”  
  
As he turned to head to his own trailer to make sure everything was okay, Gabriel called after him, “I always knew you were a dirty birdy, Cassy! Good for you!”  
  
~*~  
  
Dean’s cell rung as he was driving back from the Roadhouse in Rufus’ truck with several covered platters of food on the large passenger seat foot mats. He dug it out of his pocket and flipped it open, not bothering to check the caller id since the only person who called him was Sam. “Hey Sammy.”  
  
“Hey Dean.” His brother replied. “What’s up? Just thought I would check in. Again.”  
  
Dean smirked. “I’m still alive and kicking, dude. What about you? How’s the nerd stuff?”  
  
Sam chuckled. “Good, it’s good. It’s not easy but I kinda enjoy the challenge. I know I know…I’m a total _nerd_.” Pause. “Anyway Jessica says hi and um, that’s mostly it. Oh I—I heard from Ruby.”  
  
Dean’s easy mood shriveled in an instant. He had to choke back his first reaction which was to yell at Sam to stay away from that crazy bitch. That would only cause a fight and they’d been doing so well. “Oh? What did she have to say?”  
  
Sam sighed. “Nothing really. She apologized for getting me into trouble. Apparently it’s a part of her program or something. She wanted to do it face to face but I didn’t think that was a good idea. She also wanted to apologize to you but she didn’t know you were out yet, so I told her just leave it on our voicemail and I’d give it to you.”  
  
Interesting. “You buy it?”  
  
“I guess so.” Sam said probably frowning. “I mean I wanna believe that people can change if it’s truly what they want, but I know how messed up Ruby was. _Way_ more so than me. I suppose I _hope_ she was being honest.”  
  
“Yeah.” Dean said thoughtfully. “She was bat shit crazy but I agree with you.”  
  
Sam was quiet for a moment before saying, “So how’s _Cas_?”  
  
Dean rolled his eyes. “He’s fine. He’s really fine actually.”  
  
“Ah young love.”  
  
“Shut up Sam.”  
  
“After all the times you use to tease me? Hell no! I’m glad you’ve finally found someone that makes you stupid so that I can make fun of you for it. While still being happy for you of course.”  
  
“Bitch.”  
  
“Jerk. Jerk in love.”  
  
Dean slammed on brakes thankful that no one was behind him. Slowly he edged onto the side of the road and cut the engine. “I’m not in love.”  
  
Sam cleared his throat. “Dean, _do not_ freak out okay? There is nothing wrong with having feelings for someone. Don’t let my teasing make you do something stupid.”  
  
It was funny how well Sam knew him even though they weren’t as close as they used to be. It would be so easy for him to freak the fuck out and go back to the Menagerie and push Castiel away. Well maybe not easy but it was his usual defensive mechanism when he felt things were getting too deep. “What do you know? I’ve only known the guy like a month and some change.”  
  
Sam snickered. “So? You’re talking to someone who believes in love at first sight. A month is like a marriage.”  
  
 _My brother, the idiot._ “Jesus Samantha take the braids outta your hair.” Laughing, he fiddled with the knob on the gearshift. “You know I’m gonna be coming out to stay with you soon. I’ve learned some cooking tricks so you and Jess won’t have to live off noodles anymore.”  
  
“That sounds great, man.” Sam replied cheerfully. “Uh you could bring Castiel if you wanted—not saying that you do. We just—well we have the room. I mean assuming you guys would share and stuff. The house is old but it’s nice.”  
  
“I might do that.” Dean muttered noncommittally. He could just _see_ the face that Sam was most likely making; all soft puppy dog eyes and gentle smile.  
  
“That would be great!” His brother exclaimed. “I’ll make sure Jessica gets extra towels and sheets and soaps—”  
  
“You do that.” Dean interrupted with a snort. “Anyway I’ll talk to you later, Sam. I gotta get this food back.”  
  
“Okay. Stay safe Dean.” Sam mused. “Tell Castiel I said hello.”  
  
Dean murmured under his breath and hung up, slouching back to the seat. He stared out of the window at the deserted road and tried to quiet the voice in the back of his mind telling him it was stupid to stay latched onto Castiel. That the best thing he could do for him before he found himself needing him even more was to just split. Pack up in the middle of the night and leave. He’d be hurt but he’d get over it. _Balthazar_ would be there to pick up the pieces and they would probably be a better fit. All he had to do was step aside. He could do it; he’d done it before.  
  
This was just the first time he really, _really_ didn’t want to. And if he did Sam would never let him live it down anyway.  
  
 _Stop it,_ he chastised himself. _Cas told you to stop making decisions for him. He’d be pissed if he knew you were thinking about ditching him. Again. And this time without a word._  
  
Starting up the engine he eased the truck into gear and continued back to the fair grounds.  
  
Castiel said that he deserved nice things. That it was okay for him to want things and get thing. Throughout the years he’d wanted several things from a normal family life to just finishing high school but they hadn’t been in the cards for him. So far there was nothing to prove that Castiel wasn’t though. The only thing that could fuck up what he was building with Castiel would be him unless he tried hard for otherwise.  
  
Maybe it was time he started devoting as much time and care to his own life as he did to everyone else’s.  
  
Upon arriving back to the grounds, he parked and climbed out of the truck. Gabriel and Jake met him as he was walking around to the passenger side, and he gave each of them two platters to carry.  
  
“Thanks for going pick up the food, stud.” Gabriel elbowed him in the side. “I’ll make sure to give Cassy a second helping so that he keeps his strength up for your nighttime activities.”  
  
Dean narrowed his brows. “Does anyone around here ever mind their own damn business?”  
  
Jake shook his head. “Nope. We’re a nosy family.” He flashed a grin and headed over to a long picnic table. “Plus Gabriel said you guys were loud as hell.”  
  
Gabriel balked. “Lies! I said you were conducting some type of prayer service and that Castiel felt the spirit so strongly he started speaking in tongues.”  
  
Dean laughed before he could stop himself. “Fuck. Cut Cas some slack, okay? You don’t wanna give him a complex and make him start being quiet all the time.”  
  
“If it hasn’t happened yet I suppose it shall never happen.” Castiel said as he walked up, ignoring Gabriel’s snickers to kiss Dean on the cheek. “How are Joanna and Ellen?”  
  
Dean squeezed his wrist. “You’re cute when you’re jealous. They’ve both good by the way. They might stop by later or whatever.”  
  
Castiel nodded. “Hm. I should steel myself to more ribbing then if Gabriel tells them about what transpired between us last night.”  
  
“If he tries to open his big mouth I’ll shove a potato in it.” Dean replied, more serious than he let on. “They shouldn’t be messing with you.”  
  
“It is not malicious, Dean.” Castiel assured him. “Gabriel has made fun of me since the day we met. It is how he shows he cares.”  
  
Making a face, Dean reached up and rubbed the back of Cas’ neck. “And shoving a potato in his mouth is how I’ll show I care.”  
  
Castiel chuckled, his lashes fluttering as he leaned into the touch. “If that is what you wish to do I shall not stop you.” A beat. “I will be showing tonight if you wish to join me. Balthazar will be there as well.”  
  
Dean looked him over slowly and grunted. “Not sure I’ll be able to keep my hands off you when you whip out your wings. Wouldn’t wanna scare the kiddies by mounting you right then and there.”  
  
“Do you really find me so irresistible?”  
  
“Fuck yeah. I’d bend you over this truck right now if we were alone.”  
  
“Per—perhaps we should visit that meadow again for privacy tomorrow night. But in your car, not the truck.”  
  
Dean growled and stepped closer, crowding Castiel against Rufus’ truck. “Fuck yes. Though—and I can’t believe I’m saying this—maybe we’ll just fool around. I don’t wanna break you or anything.”  
  
Castiel’s eyes were dazed with lust. “What constitutes fooling around?”  
  
Dean grinned, nuzzling his neck, inhaling the smell of his skin. He could smell himself all over Castiel and he wasn’t sure why but he liked it. “It can be anything we want. Making out and touching each other ya know? I can spread you out on my baby’s leather seats and lick you open.”  
  
Castiel’s knees shook and he grabbed Dean’s waist to steady himself. “I—that sounds acceptable.”  
  
Dean laughed softly. “I thought it might.”  
  
The sound of a vehicle approaching pulled them both out of their desire-filled bubble to see a black stretch limo roll up and park in the driveway. When the driver climbed out to open the back door Dean frowned. He was half tempted to push Castiel into Rufus’s truck and just take off. Neither of them were in the mood for any bullshit. And from the looks on Gabriel and Balthazar’s faces neither were they.  
  
Crowley exited the back with a smug expression and was flanked by five suit wearing dudes; like he was the President or something. He glanced around and grinned. “Hello darlings. Miss me?”


	11. Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven

“The show is about to start, isn’t it? Or did I get the time wrong?” Crowley grinned and glanced to his expensive gold watch. “Oops looks like I’m an hour or so ahead of schedule. Oh well. At least now I get to chat with all you wonderful people.”  
  
“I don’t think anyone here has anything to say to you.” Dean replied as his hands balled into fists. He didn’t like the look of Crowley’s cronies one bit; he’d been in enough tense situations to know when the shit was about to hit the fan. “And since I’ve been told you’ve seen what everyone here has to offer like a dozen times, I doubt you need to stick around much longer.”  
  
Crowley stared at him thoughtfully. In any other setting he might even have managed to appear unassuming; just some normal guy with a normal yet high paying job. It was the beady eyes that gave him away though. “You know I can respect you Dean. Or I can respect what you’re trying to do. Gabriel’s taken you in and you feel indebted to him—you wanna make your new friend proud.” He motioned to his goons. “You’re the sorta guy who would actually have a bright future working for me. You’d make more than the peanuts and crackerjacks he’s paying you.”  
  
Dean snorted. “No thanks. I like having the use of my limbs at all times.”  
  
Crowley chuckled. “Your loss mate. Is rejecting perfectly good job offers something you have in common with Wingsy? If it’ll make you feel any better my bark is a lot worse than my bite.”  
  
Dean seriously doubted that. “Why don’t you just leave these people alone, man?”  
  
“I thought about it. But it’s hard to walk away from a lucrative business proposition.” He smiled and buttoned up his long overcoat. “I must admit I’ve been  _waiting_  for the right chance to entice Castiel to work for me. Yet here we are after years and years of sexual banter with nothing to show for it except flaccid dangly bits. Frankly it kind of depresses me.”  
  
Silence.  
  
“Anyway I am going to be leaving soon for the brighter lights of a real city and I wanted to give Castiel a chance to change his mind.” He gestured to the man in question. “You can even bring your boy toy with you if he promises to behave himself. Like I said I can find something for him to do. Someone will have to clean up afterwards.”  
  
Dean knew that Crowley just wanted to get a rise out of him so he forced himself not to react. It was easier with Castiel’s hand clasping his. Honestly he had no idea how Gabriel and the others had put up with this asshole for so long. Every word out of his mouth was either raunchy or offensive. Sometimes both. Dean wasn’t a prude by any means but this guy made him seem like one.  
  
“Crowley the answer will always be no.” Castiel sighed wearily. “To save yourself the trouble you should just stop coming here. I have no plans to leave Gabriel to work for you, and even if I were going to leave it would be for a normal life. Not one of decadence and ill-repute.”   
  
Crowley tsked him. “Why do you always focus on the amoral aspect of it all? You should be seeing dollar signs right now. I could make you filthy rich in a week.”  
  
“Or just filthy.” Dean grumbled.  
  
“That too.” Crowley leaned against his limo. “Really Castiel? You’re going to what? Run away with this denim wearing moron and get a house with a white picket fence and a little dog? How utterly boring. You’d be better off just staying here, love.”  
  
Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Yes because we all know that you just have Castiel’s best interest at hand. You know what? I’m seriously not in the mood for your particular type of bullshit today. You’re like herpes; just when I think we’ve gotten rid of you up you pop again. I know there is no cure but I’m not against slathering on the ointment again for all its’ worth.” He motioned to Dean. “Can I borrow your phone? I think it’s time we gave the local police a call. They’ll be happy to finally get something to do that doesn’t involve cow tipping.”  
  
“I was really hoping it wouldn’t come down to this.” Crowley snapped his fingers and three of his cronies pulled out black handguns. “Sure a  _part_  of me expected it but one does like to be surprised sometimes. Oh well.” He looked to Castiel and Dean stepped in front of him, causing Crowley to chuckle. “How noble but even you can’t catch a bullet, mate.”  
  
Dean glared at him. “You don’t know what the fuck I can do.” Yeah it was a lame comeback but it was all he had. The Impala was too far away so he couldn’t reach the pistols he’d carefully hidden in the boot of the car.  
  
Crowley clasped his hands together. “Well let’s get down to business shall we. My aspirations to turn Castiel into a star haven’t abated but at every turn he has shot me down. Quite annoying really. But now I have a secret weapon.” Smirking he motioned to Dean and his driver Brady stalked over, grabbing Dean’s upper arm to physically drag him in front of Crowley. Like he was having audience with a King or something.   
  
Dean struggled moderately but kept his eyes trained on the guns pointed at his friends. By now everyone was just standing and watching; Ava holding tight to Andy’s arm, Max lurking in the far back with Balthazar, Rufus and Jake flanking Gabriel on either side. “What? You think if you get me to say yes then Cas will just fall in line? Man, you’re as stupid as you are ugly.”  
  
Crowley clapped Dean on the shoulder. “If I had the time I would chastise you for such a remark. But seeing as how I’m on a tight schedule I’ll just tell it to you straight.” His bony fingers dug painfully into the muscle of Dean’s shoulder and Dean grunted, resisting the urge to punch him or knock him away. “For as long as I’ve known Castiel he’s been indifferent to most of what life has to offer. He’s not a  _vice_  type of man. Fair enough; there are some straight laced men out there. But I’ve always known one day he’d have a weakness. Something that he’d grow to care about even more than Gabriel and his band of merry miscreants.”  
  
A sinking feeling entered Dean’s stomach and he swallowed hard. “I don’t know what you are talking about.”  
  
“You’re too pretty to be playing dumb, Dean.” Crowley said lowly, almost lovingly. “Castiel would play to keep his friends safe but ultimately it would be rather hollow. For you on the other hand I’m certain he’d go all in.”  
  
“You son of a bitch.” Dean growled. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”  
  
“Oh?” Crowley nodded and took a few steps back. “Let’s test that theory shall we? Raymond, if you would be so kind.”  
  
Raymond was tall and graying but built like a brick chicken house and dressed like a member of the Secret Service. He stalked up to Dean and without a word, backhanded him so hard across the face that his teeth rattled, tearing open a small cut on Dean’s cheek with his ring. Dean grunted and threw a punch of his own only to find it blocked by a beefy arm. Raymond—expressionless—socked him roughly in the stomach and he doubled over, coughing, his body still a little tender from the fight with Virgil.  
  
“Crowley, stop this.” Castiel demanded. “Leave Dean alone.”  
  
“Oh I will sweetheart. As soon as you agree to come with me.” Crowley gestured to his limo.  
  
“Fuck that.” Dean straightened slowly. “He’s not going anywhere with you. “  
  
“Damn straight.” Jake muttered, cracking his knuckles.   
  
“I’m sorry. Am I the only one who actually notices the guns?” Crowley pointed to his men. “Trust me when I say they will shoot to kill! None of you are worth a fraction of what Castiel is worth. Don’t mistake my flippancy in dealing with you in the past for anything other than nonchalance.  _That_  is how little you mean to me.” He smiled at Castiel. “Now, where were we?”  
  
Castiel’s lips thinned and Crowley huffed with impatience. “Alright then. I’ll make this easy for you. Boys, make this easy for Castiel.”  
  
Dean had been in several fights in his twenty-three years of being alive. Nothing too huge but Sam had had a mouth on him back in the day that wrote checks his ass couldn’t always cash, so Dean did the cashing for him. Usually just being older did the trick but some guys wanted to test him anyway and Dean wasn’t the sort of person who backed down from a challenge. And there was one time he’d punched some asshole for grabbing Carmen’s ass in a nightclub and then had to fight his sensitive friend. But it’d been nothing that left him too banged up. Even the fight with Virgil—while rough—hadn’t done any lasting damage.  
  
He knew immediately as the three men without guns advanced on him that he wouldn’t be able to boast the same anymore. They, including Raymond, jumped on him like a pack of jackals with rock hard fists and steel-toed boots. He swung out and connected with flesh but they were bigger and a damn sight angrier. Raymond seemed to be taking out all of his repressed rage on Dean, hitting him wherever he could reach. He snarled when Dean slit his lip with an effective punch and had the other two men hold Dean still by each arm so that he could hit him over and over again. In the face, the chest, the stomach; even going so far as to sweep his legs from under him so that he could knee Dean in the eye. He socked Dean in the side and something cracked, and Dean cried out in pain.  
  
Dean’s head swam dangerously but he forced himself to remain conscious. He spat out blood and tried to focus on the muffled voices he was hearing. He knew they weren’t saying anything good, they were too frantic and too loud. Like everyone was talking at once.  
  
“I said stop it!” Castiel shouted after Raymond had struck Dean in the face again. “Please Crowley, call them off. I’ll—I’ll go with you. I’ll do whatever you want.”  
  
“Castiel!” Balthazar gasped. “You can’t!”  
  
“Think about what you’re saying!” Gabriel pleaded.  
  
Fuck. “Cas.” Dean rasped. “No.”  
  
“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Crowley sounded amused.  
  
Blood leaked into Dean’s left eye as he was dropped unceremoniously to the ground like a sack of rotten potatoes. His body wanted to curl in on itself but he clawed at the mud, gritting his teeth and willing everything to just go numb. He wheezed for breath and reached for Castiel with a shaky hand, watching as Brady shoved him towards the sleek limo. “No! Cas, don’t! Fuck Crowley! Don’t  _do_  this.  _Please_.”  
  
 _Not for me. Never for me. Please, please, please. Not worth it. I’m not worth it._  
  
Castiel didn’t say anything. He just offered up a small tentative smile and let himself be pushed into the vehicle. Dean roared and lunged at Crowley with all the remaining strength he had only to be yanked back to the ground by the collar of his shirt to squelch in the wet dirt.  
  
Crowley grinned at him. “Pleasure doing business with you.”   
  
The last thing Dean saw was Crowley winking at him before a gun handle to the back of the head plunged him into darkness.  
  
~*~  
  
Crowley’s home in Nebraska wasn’t large or flashy but it was obviously fitted for his level of comfort. He was the type of person to fit a two story farmhouse with expensive rugs and vintage furniture just because he could. Castiel wasn’t surprised that the room Brady showed him to was more un-needed opulence complete with a giant four post bed and a dark wooded vanity. He idly found himself wondering if Jeremy and his gift had helped to pay for any of these meaninglessly belongings before he was murdered.  
  
Sitting on the plush red chaise lounge he noted the bars on the windows curiously. Was it possible that this room had been decorated with him in mind from the very beginning? Naturally with Crowley all things were possible. He was certain that whatever lay in store for him would not be good. Most likely he was going to be prostituted out to the highest payer. He could refuse but he had no doubt that Crowley would continue to use Dean against him. That he would threaten his safety once again if he tried to escape or reject his would be suitors.  
  
 _Dean._  
  
The decision to sacrifice himself to Crowley for Dean had been an easy one. The moment  _Raymond_  struck Dean the words were flying out of his mouth with more determination than he’d ever experienced before. It was as if he was feeling each punch and each kick; he’d wanted nothing more than to cover Dean with his body to keep him from being hurt. His stubborn, flawed Dean who would have gladly been beaten to death if it meant Castiel continued to be free to live his life as he pleased. Half because he wanted Castiel to be safe and half because he just thought so little of himself.   
  
It hurt Castiel to his core to leave Dean bloody and in pain on the cold ground but he hadn’t had any other choice. There was no way he was going to let Crowley hurt him anymore than he already had. Yet he knew that whenever Dean woke up he would ultimately blame himself for everything even though  _nothing_  was his fault. Yes Crowley used Dean and their relationship to push Castiel’s hand, but if not Dean then someone else eventually because that is how Crowley operated. When he couldn’t get what he wanted with his empty charm and promises of wealth, he showed his true horrific colors. Castiel seriously hoped that Gabriel would explain this to Dean so that he wouldn’t worry himself to death.  
  
It would be a lie to say that he was not concerned for his own well-being in addition to Dean’s. People were often cruel and he was certain that he would encounter a few if Crowley forced him to “work” for him for a long time. The thought of strangers touching him and his wings nearly made him physically ill but he would endure it for Dean because Dean would do the same for him. He hoped that one day Dean would realize that he was worth everything even if he never got to see him again. Logically Crowley would probably make sure of that.  
  
At least he had a score of fond memories to get him through the next few days.  
  
He heard a key being turned in the lock from outside and looked up as Crowley strolled into the room sans overcoat. He closed the door behind him and pretended to rake dust off the gold trimmed mantle over the fireplace. “So, how are you finding your new accommodations? I know it’s not a rundown little trailer but it has all of the necessities one might need.” When Castiel didn’t reply, he pouted. “Oh buck up, mate. Pretty soon you’re going to have to greet people with a smile, might as well start now.”  
  
Castiel exhaled deeply. “You can keep me here Crowley but you can’t control my emotions.”  
  
“Fair enough.” Crowley shrugged and moved over to an assortment of liqueurs on a table in fancy bottles. “And we won’t be staying here for long. Think of this as a layover before bigger and better things. New York. Las Vegas. Promotion will be the key.”  
  
“And you will leave Dean alone?”  
  
“As long as you behave, yes. We have a deal.”  
  
Castiel shook his head. “A deal implies some sort of trust and I will never trust you. But if Dean remains safe I will continue to…work for you.”  
  
Crowley snickered. “You say it like it’s a bad thing. I’d think after the slap and tickle Dean gave you last night you’d be more willing to explore other avenues.” At Castiel’s slightly surprised expression, he grinned. “Ah yes I  _do_  know about that. The love bites on your neck kind of gave it away. Not to mention the goo goo eyes you two were making at each other. I’d congratulate you if it didn’t put a crimp in my marketing plans.”  
  
Castiel bristled; he hated that Crowley could make light of such an important moment in his life. “Excuse me?”  
  
Crowley sipped his alcohol. “You have  _wings_  Castiel. Wings equals angel and  _angel_  equals purity. Chastity. Vir _gin_ ity. As fun a time as you undoubtedly had with Dean no one wants sloppy seconds.” He walked over and peered down at Castiel before reaching out to grasp his chin. “You’ll be the eternal virgin and everything else will be our little secret.”  
  
Jerking his face away, Castiel got up and walked over to the window. “You are disgusting.”  
  
“I am a businessman.” Crowley watched him. “If I were disgusting I’d have you myself right now on that fluffy bear skin rug. Don’t think it didn’t cross my mind because it did. I like to sample my products before I put them out into the world but seeing as how you’re supposed to be untouched I’m waving those rights just this once. Maybe after we’ve got a set client list I’ll see what all the fuss is about.”  
  
Nausea rolled Castiel’s stomach and he swallowed thickly. “That I am definitely not looking forward to.”  
  
Crowley laughed and perched on the vacated chaise. “I’m sure right about now you’re questioning whether your bow legged paramour was actually worth sacrificing yourself for. The short answer is no. When he wakes up he’ll probably get himself another pretty boy to spend time with.”  
  
“You don’t know Dean very well.” Castiel said quietly. “I know I made the right choice—he would have done the same for me.”  
  
“Touching.”  
  
“Mock us all you want, Crowley. One day you’ll be old—if someone doesn’t kill you first—and you’ll be all alone. And none of your wealth or fancy things will matter because there will be no one there to share it with. No one that gives a damn about you.”  
  
“If I’m rich enough I’ll be able to  _pay_  someone to give a damn about me. And you my little angel and what I’m sure are rather delectable assets are going to make me very, very rich.”  
  
Silence.  
  
“You know I had wanted you to be dressed properly before your first client.” Crowley frowned. “I do have a certain image to uphold. When we get back to the real world I’m taking you shopping.”  
  
Castiel’s eyes narrowed at the thought of having to throw away Dean’s shirt. Then he remembered that he had basically nothing here. All of his belongings were back in his trailer and he highly doubted Crowley would let him return to get anything. “What about my things?”  
  
“Make a list and I’ll have Brady fetch them.” Crowley replied casually. His cell phone rung and he answered it, a wide grin breaking across his face. “Ah. The guest of honor has arrived.”  
  
Castiel arched a brow. “I was under the impression that  _I_  was the guest of honor.”  
  
Getting up, Crowley waltzed over to the door and places his hand on the knob. “No dear. You’re the entertainment. Granted I wanted you to look better but your first  _gentleman caller_  apparently doesn’t give a toss about that sort of thing. Said he’d take you as is. Especially because of the wings.”  
  
A spike of fear jolted Castiel’s spine and his face paled. He knew what would happen eventually but this soon? He’d been here an hour at the most. Who could Crowley have possibly talked into wanting to sleep with him in so little time? The town was small and while no one would have said anything outright about Castiel’s sexuality, they’re not exactly over the moon about homosexuals. Though he reasoned perhaps they’d just been hiding all this time. It had to be someone he’d met before if they knew about his wings. Some person he’d talked to. That thought twisted needles into his insides and he had the idea to bash in Crowley’s skull and make a run for it.  
  
With Crowley dead there was a good chance Dean would be safe. That they both would be safe.  
  
“No need to be nervous, love. I’m sure you’re a natural.” Crowley smirked and opened the door, waving someone inside.  
  
The tall imposing figure of a man stepped into the room, and Castiel felt his entire body lock up in shock and dismay.  
  
Zachariah smiled warmly at him. “Hello Castiel.”  
  
~*~  
  
 _“Dean, it’s time to wake up sweetheart. You’ve got important things to do.”_  
  
His mother’s voice floated into his ears and he groaned, trying to catch it and hold onto it, to wrap himself up into its’ warmth. “Mom?”  
  
Opening his eyes was a struggle because it felt like his eyelids hurt along with every other part of his body. Pain throbbed within his temples and his sides; the back of his head burning with a knot he could already tell had formed. Everything was blurred and dazed and for a moment he had no idea where he was. He could hear muffled voices talking as if underwater and they weren’t making any sense. Unconsciousness called to him like a siren and he wanted to follow it down again but his mother’s voice whispered that he  _had_  to wake up. That there was something very important he needed to do.  
  
Something wet and warm smoothed across his face and he grunted, bringing a trembling clammy hand up to touch his cheek. “Wh—what…”  
  
“I think he’s coming around!” It was a female. Not his mother. “Gabriel!”  
  
Gabriel. Gabriel?  
  
Dean gasped as the name resonated within his brain and the memory of his attack slammed into his chest like a freight train.  _Cas!_  Suddenly he didn’t give a fuck about how much he ached or what could be wrong with him. He was forcing his eyes to focus and Ava’s worried face came into view as well as the damp cloth she was using to stroke his forehead.  
  
“Dean?” She said softly. “Can you hear me?”  
  
He inhaled deeply and shifted on the lumpy mattress, cringing when the bones in his side screamed at the movement. Fuck it. He grit his teeth and latched onto Ava’s shoulder, using her as an anchor to help pull himself up first onto his elbows and then into a sitting position. “Where’s Cas?” His voice was wrecked like his vocal chords had been shredded.  
  
“Dean you really should rest.” She replied trying to get him to lie down again. “You have a cracked rib and maybe even a concussion.”  
  
“I’m fine.” He muttered pushing at her hands. “I gotta help Cas.”  
  
He attempted to stand when a heavy hand fell onto his shoulder and pushed him back down. “Calm down, Dean. Okay? Just take a minute to calm down.”  
  
Dean blinked and Gabriel’s face swam into view. “I can’t fucken calm down! That asshole has Cas and it’s my fault! I gotta help him.”  
  
Gabriel nodded slowly. “Dude we’re coming up with a plan to save Castiel. He’s our friend too, remember?” He gestured to Balthazar who leaned silently against the wall. “But…well…you’re in no condition to be doing much of anything. We’re not doctors but Rufus has had a bit of medical training and he said you’ve got a cracked rib—at least—possible concussion not to mention you’re bruised and battered up the wazoo. I know you’ve gotta be in a lot of pain right now.”  
  
And he was but that didn’t mean a damn thing. “I don’t care. I’ll deal with it, alright? Cas is all that matters. So drug me up and let’s go find him. The more time we spend here talking like a bunch of old ladies Crowley could be taking him to God knows where.”  
  
Gabriel shook his head. “No. Look I know where Crowley nests when he’s here okay? They haven’t left yet. But I really don’t think—”  
  
“We should let him come with us.” Balthazar interrupted. “He’s right. We’re wasting time here and obviously you’re not going to talk him out of going. You should go ask Rufus for some of those pills that he takes for his back. They might make Dean functional for the time we need to rescue Castiel.”  
  
Gabriel appeared as if he wanted to argue but relented and threw his hands up into the air. “Fine. But if he keels over and dies  _you’re_  explaining it to Castiel. I’m gonna get some guns and see if Jake will come with us.” Shaking his head, he stalked from the trailer with Ava hurrying behind him.  
  
Dean smoothed a hand across his forehead, patting at the tender skin of his temples and nose. He noticed that his waist was wrapped tight, his chest dotted with ugly dark bruises. “Shit.”  
  
“I hope you are up for this.” Balthazar grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and handed it to him. “Crowley may well be expecting us to try to stage some type of coup.”  
  
“I’m fine.” Dean said gruffly, chugging down the water.  
  
Balthazar exhaled, exasperated. “But not one hundred percent. There is a chance you could die and I hardly think that is what Castiel would want.”  
  
“I bet he wants to be shacking up with Crowley even less.” Dean balled his free hand into a fist. “I should have never come here. I should’ve just kept on to California. If I had Cas would be fine. He wouldn’t be—he wouldn’t have gone with Crowley.”  
  
“Crowley is a dick and he has been since the moment I met him. You being here didn’t change that.”  
  
“No, but it gave him the ammunition to finally get Cas. And that’s my fault. Whatever happens to him is  _my_  fault.”  
  
Balthazar sat down beside him. “Dean you can’t blame yourself for the evil of others. And even though I have no idea why, Castiel is very fond of you. He couldn’t stand to see you being hurt so he did what he could to stop it. It was his decision to make and he made it. He fully understands that you would have done the same for him.”  
  
Dean swallowed hard. “I’ve fucked up his life. We could get him back but who knows what has already happened? I was out for what? An hour? Do you know what can happen to someone in an hour?” The thought nearly made him physically sick. He’d kill Crowley if he’d hurt Cas. “He’s there because of  _me_  and he shouldn’t be. I’m not worth whatever Crowley could be putting him through. He should have let the asshole beat me to death.”  
  
Balthazar glared at him. “Castiel is not some wilting flower that needs to be coddled. He is a fighter and he always has been. No matter what he goes through he will survive because he is amazing and strong.” Pause. “He cares about you Dean; a great deal. It pains me to admit it but it’s true. You’re upset and in pain and I understand, but so help me God if you continue to belittle his sacrifice and obvious love for you I will finish what Crowley started. He went with that weasel because he felt you were worth saving. I have no doubt he would make the same choice over and over again because as a person, he is extraordinary. You wish to make it up to him? Help us rescue him and you can spend the rest of your life kissing his ass.”  
  
“Nice pep talk.” Dean cracked a tiny smile. “It must be serious if you’re trying to make me feel better.”  
  
“Don’t get used to it.” Balthazar smirked. “And it’s more for Cassy.”  
  
“I’d die for him ya know?”  
  
“I know. But you can’t. If he were here he wouldn’t allow it so I won’t either. I won’t let him come back to disappointment.”  
  
Licking his lips, Dean pushed down any feeling that wasn’t about helping Castiel. When Castiel was safe he would have plenty of time to feel like an idiot and think about his next move. There is no way Castiel would want him after this—after being with Crowley. He’d be angry and disgusted and probably wanna beat the shit out of Dean, and Dean would let him. He’d take his licks and then run away with his tail between his legs so that Castiel would never have to see his face again and be reminded of what he went through. But right now he had to be tough and clear headed so that he could get to Crowley and snap his neck. He didn’t care what happened to himself as long as Castiel turned out to be okay.  
  
 _Hold on, Cas. I’m coming for you._


	12. Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

Zachariah looked beyond smug even with a swollen and bruised nose held in place by white tape. He slithered fully into the room wearing a dark suit because above all he loved the illusion of appearing important. Castiel squared his shoulders and watched him shake hands with Crowley, murmuring something about a “job well done.” He did not have it in him to be completely surprised by this revelation. Obviously Crowley was capable of anything. He was just worried that they had all clearly underestimated Zachariah.  
  
“I told you, I always deliver.” Crowley grinned. “Well I’ll let you two love birds coo for a while. I am sure that you have lots to talk about.”  
  
The door shut with an audible  _click_  behind him as he left.  
  
Castiel exhaled deeply but he didn’t move from his place by the window. He tapered down any fear that he was feeling to focus on the truths of the matter. He was no longer that frightened eighteen year old questioning his place in the world or whether it was right or wrong to let his guardian do unpleasant things to him. Yes he wasn’t as savvy as many others his age but he was stronger and smarter now. And he refused to be intimidated by Zachariah any longer.  
  
“So here we are again.” Zachariah mused glancing around the room. “This place is a bit tawdry for my tastes but I suppose it will have to do until we return home. Only at the Retreat can I give you the help and counseling that you honestly need my boy. I realize that I was very harsh with you upon our last meeting but, well, tempers were heightened. I don’t want you to go to hell. I want to save you.”  
  
“You do not have the power to save me.” Castiel replied matter of fact. “You are just a man and not much of one. However there was a time when you provided me with food, shelter and clothing and I shall always remember that. But it doesn’t outweigh all of the horrible things you made me do in  _God’s_  name. Cheating people out of their hard earn money. Promising them cures to terminal diseases. Thinking back on that part of my life makes me so ashamed.”  
  
Sensing the time for pretense was over, Zachariah shrugged. “I simply gave them what they wanted. I mean anyone could look at you and see that you’re not an angel. That you’re just as corrupt and base as the rest of them. But when those lovely wings come out you’re  _different_. You’re  _holy_. People want to believe in a higher power. They want to believe that some divine being is watching out for them.” He smiled. “So that is what I gave them. I presented them with a young, nubile angel to assuage their guilt and calm their fears and lessen their woes. I helped them.”  
  
Castiel glared at him. “You tricked them. They trusted you as a real religious figure and you used that trust to prey on their insecurities. You profited from their misfortunes and that is a horrible thing.”  
  
Zachariah pulled the top off a decanter of alcohol and sniffed it. “Well if they were stupid enough to believe me I suppose they got whatever they deserved.”  
  
“Do you even believe in God?”  
  
“Of course I do. That doesn’t mean that I’m not also practical.”  
  
Shaking his head, Castiel wet his lips. “I’d rather die than go back to the Retreat with you.”  
  
Zachariah smirked to himself. “The others and I were about to leave when I met Mr. Crowley; did you know that? Anyway we were outside the restroom of that diner and Anna was helping me tend to my nose. She was ranting and raving about your lack of respect when he overhead our conversation. We got to talking and I was amused to discover his plans for you. He’s a terrible, disgusting man of course but I was not against using him to get what I wanted. I paid him double for you and then sent the others away, saying I would join them eventually. Shall I let you in on a little secret though?” He lowered his voice. “He thinks he’s going to keep you. He thinks I am going to just walk away and let him have you.”  
  
“Neither of you are going to  _have me_.” Castiel snapped. “I belong to myself. I am only here because Crowley threatened someone very dear to me and—”  
  
“Ah yes the hooligan that broke my nose.” He frowned deeply, clearly repulsed by the memories. “What was his name? Dean? I’m shocked you would be interested in someone like him, Castiel. I always figured you were a homosexual but you tended to gravitate towards men like Inais back then. He was devastated after you disappeared by the way.” Pause. “He’ll be happy to see you when we get home. Perhaps if you are nice I will let you spend some time with him.”  
  
 _How is it possible to talk and talk to someone and yet never be heard?_  “One of my deepest regrets is that I wasn’t able to take him and others like him with me when I left. At the time I thought you trying to force yourself on me was unimaginable; a punishment for being the way that I was, for having wings. Now I know better. What you did spurred me to escape and I have had a wonderful life because the fear you caused gave me the courage to run. And if you attempt to take me back to the Retreat I will run again. I will  _keep_  running until I am completely free of you.”  
  
Zachariah clapped slowly. “Pretty words Castiel and nothing more. I am not above keeping you in a locked room for the rest of your life if it means I get to have you all to myself.”His brows narrowed and he stepped closer. “If it means I get to rub all over those pretty feathers. You are one in a million—as far as we know—and now that you’ve been brought back into my life I am going to make sure you never leave.”  
  
For a brief moment Castiel could picture that sort of life. Locked in his room while Anna and Rachel brought him food and told him repeatedly how lucky he was. His pleas to be released falling on deaf ears or being mocked by the likes of Raphael and Virgil and perhaps Michael if he were in the mood. And although he would fight Zachariah’s advances each and every time, he knew someone like him was not against restraining him to get what he wanted.  
  
He’d never see Dean or Gabriel or anyone else ever again. Even faced with another dreary prospect of a future he still couldn’t determine which would be worse. He’d be a whore either way.  
  
Smoothing a hand over his face, he cracked his knuckles. “Have you always been such a dick?”  
  
Zachariah blinked at him. “Did you learn such language from  _Dean_?” A beat. “I would bash that boy’s skull in if I could. He is obviously nothing but a common thug.”  
  
Castiel’s eyes drifted to the fireplace for the poker but saw nothing. Crowley would be smart enough to remove it. “Dean is wonderful and I wager that if you tried to harm him he would beat you to death.” His fingers brushed his neck before grabbing at the fabric of Dean’s shirt. “Or at least break another of your bones.”  
  
“And that would make you happy, wouldn’t it?” Zachariah was suddenly in his space glowering at him. He boxed him in against the window. “If your little dog broke off his leash and attacked me? I always knew there was something dark about you Castiel. Maybe it’s the wings. Maybe they…” He trailed off and his eyes bulged when they noticed the marks on Castiel’s throat. “What in God’s name are those!?”  
  
Castiel shoved him hard and he stumbled a few steps back. “What do they look like?”  
  
“You stupid little whore! How  _dare_  you let someone so unworthy defile you. Didn’t I teach you to treat your body like a temple?” He grabbed Castiel’s shoulders and shook him. “I will drain the evil from you if it is the last thing that I do. I will heal you and save you from your heathen ways. Don’t worry, Castiel. I will make you better.”  
  
Zachariah leaned forward to kiss him and Castiel gasped, his mind going completely blank for a moment.  _You are not eighteen anymore. You can take care of yourself,_  his brain reminded him.  _If he won’t listen, show him._  
  
So Castiel did.  
  
He slammed his forehead into Zachariah’s face and Zachariah shouted in pain but released him, staggering back like a wounded animal. He held to his nose which was bleeding once again and sputtered for breath. “How  _dare_  you! You cannot do that to me!”  
  
Castiel rolled his eyes and punched Zachariah in the jaw like he wished he had done years and years ago. Zachariah’s head snapped back and Castiel hit him again in the stomach; he gripped his shoulders and jabbed his knee into his groin, sending the older man to his knees with a pitiful howl. “No Zachariah, you cannot do  _that_  to  _me_. I am not a toy and I am certainty not here for  _you_  to use as you please. For years you have been the monster that lurked in the darkness but I am not scared of you anymore. And if you try to touch me again I will destroy you.”  
  
The door opened next and Crowley stepped into the room, arching a brow at the sight of Zachariah sweaty and clutching his crotch on the floor. “I’m not sure but I don’t think this is a very productive type of foreplay.” He tsked Castiel as he helped Zachariah up. “I knew that wasn’t pleasurable crying. I am terribly sorry but I did tell you that he was quite raw.”  
  
“You also said he was untouched.” Zachariah growled angrily. “I want my damn money back!”  
  
“Nonsense.” Crowley patted his shoulder, brushing imaginary lent off his jacket. “Why don’t you go get cleaned up while I have a word with your paramour. I promise the next time you see him he’ll be receptive to whatever you wish.”  
  
Grumbling with bloody hands, Zachariah huffed by shuffled out of the room and down the hall most likely towards a bathroom.  
  
“Well that was interesting.” Crowley chuckled when he was out of earshot. “I should have expected as such but I thought you would behave now that we have an agreement.” He strolled over to his liqueurs and poured a glass of Scotch, taking a tiny vial of something out of his pocket and dumping it into the alcohol. “But no matter. I always come prepared.” Grinning he walked up to Castiel and handed him the glass. “Drink this.”  
  
Castiel frowned at it. “What did you put in it?”  
  
Crowley feigned innocence. “Hm? Oh just something to help you relax. Something to keep you from beating poor Mr. Adler black and blue. It’s not poisonous and it won’t have any lasting effects. It’s not LSD or anything. It won’t knock you out but you’ll be more manageable.” When Castiel didn’t drink, he reached into his other pocket and pulled out his cell phone. “It is in your best interest to drink Castiel. Otherwise...” He held up the screen to show off the picture of Dean beaten and unconscious that he’d snapped. “I’ll have my friends visit sweet little Dean again.”  
  
Castiel knew that he could refuse to drink and let Crowley do what he wanted to Dean but honestly, he’d never be able to live with himself if Dean were killed. Dean was good and passionate and selfless, and he deserved a bit of loyalty. Besides for some odd reason, deep down, Castiel had the feeling that everything was going to be okay. Perhaps it was just a sense of faith but it helped him take the glass from Crowley and swallow its’ contents, coughing when the alcohol burned his throat.  
  
“Good boy. Now just lie down and relax.” Crowley smiled and pointed to the bed. “I’ll go give Mr. Adler some pain pills and maybe a Viagra and you’ll be good to go.”  
  
He left and locked the door behind him.  
  
The effects of the drugs hit faster than Castiel expected and he idly wondered if Crowley had given him a double dose. He toppled over onto the bed on the side near the window and allowed himself to slide down to the floor, his limbs tingling like they were asleep. His head rested against the thick mattress and he blinked at the hazy images before his eyes, the room tilting just a little. His skin suddenly felt feverish and he pulled at his shirt but had enough wits about him to not take it off.  
  
Zachariah would return and—well whatever happened maybe eventually he would be rescued or he’d escape somehow. He wondered if he ever saw Dean again, would he still want him after Zachariah had had him?  
  
~*~  
  
Gabriel pried the top off a wooden crate and rummaged around in the coarse straw, pulling out several different types of guns. “I know what you are thinking. If I hate guns so much why do I have them? I have them because the constitution says that I can. And well you never know when you might need to shoot a bear around these parts.”  
  
Dean was only half listening to him. He stared into space and rubbed his already sore and busted knuckles as he tried to think what he would say to Castiel when everything was okay. If Castiel even wanted to talk to him of course. At the very least he’d apologize for all of the shit he’d brought into his life and offer up some kinda way to make it up to him. If that way happened to be hitting the highway and never showing his face there again then he would do it. But right now he just wanted to make sure Castiel was okay. He wanted to look him over with his own eyes and touch him with his own hands.  
  
After he put his foot so far up Crowley’s ass that he left him tasting leather for the rest of his life.  
  
Exhaling deeply, he walked over to the Impala and popped the trunk, pulling up the floorboard to look under where the spare tire was kept. He yanked up a nondescript toolbox and opened it, taking out the thigh holster inside and strapping it around his right thigh. He took out his favorite gun—a Colt 911 with an ivory handle—and tucked it behind him into the band of his jeans.  
  
“Dean?” Gabriel waved him back over. “What are you doing?” Upon noticing the thigh holster, he smirked. “And here I was wondering if you even knew how to  _use_  a gun.”  
  
Dean shrugged. “My dad was in the Marines. My brother and I didn’t like hunting so he’d just take us out shooting sometimes.” He took the gun Gabriel handed him and checked to see if it was loaded. Finding it was he slipped it into the holster.  
  
Balthazar looked almost amused. “You look as if we’re going to war.”  
  
Dean met his gaze. “Aren’t we?”  
  
Balthazar appeared to think on it for a second before nodding. “There is quite a bit we don’t know about you, isn’t there?”  
  
Dean’s jaw twitched. “Something like that.” Pause. “So what is the plan exactly?”  
  
Gabriel passed a small black handgun to Jake. “Well as fun as I’m sure it would be to go in with guns literally blazing I thought we’d be sneakier. We know that Crowley has at least five assholes with him, and his driver Brady. The local Sheriff owed me a favor so I know where they are and the basic layout of the place. Nothing fancy really; the house is built like every other farmhouse around these parts but one of the rooms has bars on the windows. I bet my sweet ass that’s where Castiel is being kept.” He picked up a sawed off shotgun and a box of shells. “Since you’re more banged up than the rest of us, we’ll clear a path while you get Castiel out.”  
  
“I don’t like the sound of that.” Dean admitted. “I don’t want any of you getting hurt or killed.”  
  
Jake smiled. “Guess we’re going to have to be extra careful and not let that happen. But ya know Castiel is our family and he’d be ready to throw down for any one of us. So either way we’re going but this way you get to look like the hero.”  
  
“Oh shut up.” Dean said with a tiny grin. “I just meant…” He sighed and licked his lips. “What happened to Cas? I know I shouldn’t blame myself; I was told that Cas is a big boy and blah blah blah but well I do blame myself. He went with that dick to save me, and I feel responsible for whatever happens to him. I’d feel the same way if one of you were shot. Even Balthazar.”  
  
“Touching.” Balthazar rolled his eyes. “We are all going to be careful, Dean. Besides you can’t do this alone so you need us. All we have to do is not get killed while you find Castiel and get him outside. Perhaps another type of distraction would be in order.”  
  
“I could start a fire?” Jake suggested. “Little bit of gas in a flask should do the trick. And while they are dealing with that we could swoop in and pick ‘em off. We just gotta keep them busy long enough to get Castiel. Afterwards we’ll deal with the fallout.”  
  
It wasn’t much of a plan but it was all that they had so Dean would take it. “What if someone gets killed? One of them I mean?”  
  
Gabriel rubbed his chin. “I’d say we  _try_  to avoid that but who knows? Better them than us.”  
  
So very true. “Okay. Let’s do this.”  
  
Five minutes later Dean sat on the passenger side of Rufus’ truck while Balthazar drove them towards Crowley’s. Gabriel and Jake were behind them in Gabriel’s car. To be honest he felt like he could throw up at any minute but he tried to stay positive. It didn’t matter how they found Castiel as long as he was alive. He could heal from broken bones or  _whatever else_  but he couldn’t come back to life. If he was dead Dean did not know what he would do although burning the place down to the ground sounded like a good idea.  
  
If he survived however he’d have an interesting story to tell Sam. He could hear his outraged bitching already. As long as he didn’t end back up in jail for something worse than grand theft auto. Gabriel seemed pretty content with the whole deal so maybe he had an in with the police. To be honest Dean wouldn’t be surprised because there was obviously more to Gabriel than he was letting on. All those guns and his blasé attitude; who knows what the dude used to get up to before he decided to live off the grid?  
  
“Are you alright?” Balthazar asked slowly. “I mean are you going to  _be_  alright? Will you be able to do this?”  
  
Dean sniffed. “I won’t fall apart. I’ll be good once we know Cas is safe.”  
  
“I am sure that Cassy is well.” He didn’t sound too convinced however. “There is something to be said for Crowley’s timing. If this had been years ago our dear Cassy would not have been as adept as he is now. Even if we find the worst I have no doubt that he will be able to overcome.”  
  
“This is so fucked up.” Dean grunted as he shifted in his seat. “But if Crowley had to flip the fuck out—yeah—I’m glad it’s now so that I can help. Just hope no one gets killed. Ava would kick my ass again if anything happened to Jake. Andy too.”  
  
Balthazar laughed, flashing straight white teeth. “That she would. She was oddly absent when we left but I am choosing to look upon it as a good thing. I suspect if she had seen something horrible she would have at least told us about it.”  
  
 _Good point. I’m sure she would have._  “I think she would. Maybe she didn’t see anything.”  
  
“She always sees something.” He said absently.  
  
Dean bit into his bottom lip. “Can I ask you something?”  
  
“If you must.”  
  
“Does it seem odd that our first reaction was to go get Cas instead of calling the cops?”  
  
“No. Castiel is one of  _ours_  and besides the lovely Sheriff the rest of the police department is quite incompetent. Crowley would have just bought them off to look the other way. This is how it would have been done in the past so I see nothing with doing it now.”  
  
“Good point.”  
  
Leaning forward to get a better view out the windshield, Balthazar merged off the road so that the truck was hidden by a crop of thick trees. “We should walk from here.” He pointed to the flash of white peeking out from between gnarled branches. “We can use the foliage to stay hidden until we are close enough to strike.”  
  
Gabriel pulled up behind them and they all got out and did one last weapons check.   
  
“Okay Angels, let’s go save Bossley.” Gabriel glanced at them. “Be careful.”  
  
 _If there is a God let’s hope he knows that he owes me a favor after taking my mom._  
  
They crept slowly through the thick trees and bushes towards Crowley’s house, careful not to make too much noise. Crowley’s expensive cars were parked in the driveway but there was no one about and no cameras mounted to the porch pillars. It was Dean’s guess that Crowley probably figured there was no need for heightened security when you were out in the middle of bum fuck nowhere. Or maybe he was just _that_  arrogant.  
  
The pain in his side and face had dampened and he didn’t know if it was because of Rufus’ pills or the adrenaline beginning to course through his system but he welcomed it. He didn’t want a stupid thing like a fucked up rib to slow him down. This was too important for anything to go wrong.  
  
Jake reached the house first and he flattened himself to the side, holding his gun to his stomach. He craned his neck to make sure no one was coming and then hurried towards the very back where he was going to start the fire. There was a brief moment of nothing and then the crackle of flames could be heard as yellow and red licked along the grass. It was small at first but then it started to grow and climb up the wall of what could have been the laundry room or pantry.  
  
Gabriel—who looked so freaken serious that it was kind of scary—waited until the smoke got thick enough to see and smell before slinking in the direction Jake had taken. Dean could hear heavy footfalls heading towards the fire and two gruff voices cursing, asking what the fuck was going on.  _So far so good._  
  
Two of Crowley’s men burst out of the house with blankets. They beat at the fire on the grass and attempted to smother it, bitching about getting their clothes covered in soot. Dean caught sight of Jake seconds before he lunged from his hiding place and smashed his fist into the shortest dude’s face. Blood and a few teeth flew from the guy’s mouth and he toppled over like a tree, hitting the ground hard. The second man yelped and threw a punch but Jake blocked it and delivered a strong uppercut to his chin, knocking him out cold just like the first.  
  
“Gotta love super strength.” Gabriel whispered. “C’mon help me drag these assholes somewhere.”  
  
Dean watched as they lugged them into the bushes beside the house and left them there. With the fire still basically burning and simmering, the foursome trekked inside as quietly as they could. Balthazar purposefully ducked into the den and started a ruckus, breaking vases and overturning chairs to gain someone’s attention. Gabriel did the same thing in the kitchen.  
  
Raymond—the brick house that had beaten Dean down stalked unhappily out of the living room passing right by where Jake and Dean were hiding out of sight. He thumped angrily into the kitchen and Dean nudged Jake to follow, thinking Gabriel would need all the help he could get with that dick.   
  
The final two men hurried down the stairs and into the den; the house quickly filling with the sounds of raised voices and the sound of furniture breaking.   
  
Dean took that as his cue and started for the stairs, getting halfway up when Brady appeared at the top. He reached for his gun but Brady just looked at him before saying over his shoulder, “No I don’t see anything, boss. I think the guys are just rough housing.” He grabbed Dean’s collar and physically shoved him into a closet. “Your boyfriend is in the room at the end of the hall. Count to ten and then go there.”  
  
He left the door open just a crack before turning and walking away.  
  
 _What the fuck is going on? Trouble in paradise? Whatever long as it helps me get to Cas._  
  
One.  
  
Two.  
  
Three.  
  
Four.  
  
Five.  
  
Si—  
  
Dean frowned as a figure slowly walked past, his eyes catching a glimpse of a bald head. He eased the door open as silently as he could and peeped out, nearly gasping in shock at the sight of Zachariah. _What the fuck is he doing here!?_  he thought frantically to himself. He watched Zachariah opened the door to Castiel’s room with a small key and trudge inside, shutting the door behind him. When there wasn’t an audible click Dean praised God and quickly followed.  
  
He came up behind Zachariah who was loosening his tie and thumped him in the back of the head with the butt of his gun. The older man groaned but fell to the floor unconscious. Dean glared at him and kicked him in the nuts just because.   
  
“Piece of shit.” He growled. “Cas? Cas are you in here?”  
  
A giggle sounded from near the bed and Dean sprinted over almost tripping on the fluffy carpet. Castiel was slouched against the bedside table, thankfully still dressed and apparently no worse for the wear. His cheeks were flushed red, his expression dazed but he didn’t have any bruises and the bed itself was still made.  
  
“Cas!” Dean dropped to his knees in front of him. “Cas? Hey hey, Castiel can you hear me?”  
  
Castiel blinked at him. “Dean?  _Deaaan_  I’m so happy to see you!” He wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck. “I really like you. I  _really_  like you and I don’t wanna be here anymore. Zachariah is here and I don’t like him.”  
  
Dean cupped his face. “Cas? Did they drug you? You looked stoned.” Pause. “I need you to try to focus man. C’mon can you do that for me?”  
  
Castiel grinned. “I’d do anything for you. I—”  
  
It happened so suddenly that for a brief moment Dean honestly had no idea why he was sprawled out on the floor or why his head was throbbing. It wasn’t until the spots stopped dancing in front of his eyes that he realized  _somehow_  Crowley had sneaked up behind him and cracked him across the back with a cane. An honest to God cane.  
  
“Well, well, well.” Crowley mused, staring down at him. “This I honestly did not expect.” He kicked Dean’s gun away from him. “You’ve surprised me Dean. If I weren’t planning to kill you I’d offer you a  _real_  job working for me. Obviously you’re smart and cut throat.”  
  
Dean groaned. “Shut the fuck up. I’m—I’m taking Cas and we’re getting the hell out of here.”  
  
Crowley chuckled. “No I don’t see that happening. Poor Mr. Adler though; he’s had a rough afternoon. I don’t think his penis will be in working order today. Oh well, I got paid up front.” Clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth, he hauled back and whacked Dean in the side, forcing him to cry out in pain. “I’m sorry did that hurt? Did I hurt you! You stupid, stupid moron!”  
  
Gritting his teeth, Dean rolled onto his stomach. “Fuck you.”  
  
“Crowley.” Castiel crept more into view. “Sto—stop. Just stop.”  
  
Crowley sighed and grabbed a handful of his hair. “And you! You’re been way more trouble than you’re worth.” He tossed him over towards the chaise lounge. “I should just sell you or something once we reach Las Vegas and be done with you. Or have those pretty wings clipped.” He turned his attention back to Dean. “Maybe after this you’ll see that this is not a game! That  _I_  mean business.  
  
Crowley straddled Dean’s legs and caught him under the chin with his cane, pulling up and up as much as he could, choking off Dean’s air. Dean sputtered and tried to dislodge it but found that he didn’t have the strength. That the pulsing pain in his body was blocking out everything else and draining him, making his head loopy and his muscles limp. But he kept struggling. His hand came down near his thigh holster and fumbled for his second gun but Crowley stepped on his wrist and pinned it to the floor under his fancy shoes.  
  
“Crowley stop!” Castiel shouted.  
  
“Or what?” Crowley laughed and tightened his hold on the cane. “What are you going to do?”  
  
The shot was loud when it rang out and Dean wondered if Crowley had gotten tired of choking him and just decided to do the job cleanly. It wasn’t until Crowley hissed and fell over that Dean got enough oxygen back to realize what had happened. Of course the gaping bleeding hole in Crowley’s head probably helped. He coughed and sucked in air, his eyes locked on Crowley’s open lifeless ones.  
  
“Dean.” Castiel whispered.  
  
Making his legs move, he crawled over to him and gently took the gun from his hand. “Cas. It’s okay. It’s okay, man.” He pulled Castiel into his arms for a hug, burying his face into Cas’ neck. “Fuck. You saved my life.”  
  
Castiel rubbed his back. “I don’t feel very well.”  
  
“It—yeah it’s probably whatever that douche gave you.” Dean’s voice was a low rasp in his throat. “Hopefully it’ll wear off.”  
  
Footsteps in the hallway sounded and Gabriel rushed into the room with Balthazar and Jake behind him. They all looked at Crowley’s body with a mix of surprise and satisfaction, thinking he’d gotten what he deserved.  
  
“Are you two okay?” Gabriel inquired. “Wait don’t answer that. You’re alive so you’re better than he is. We should be getting the hell outta here before his boys wake up.”  
  
“No hurry.” Brady strolled in with a smile. “I doubt they will care.”  
  
Gabriel turned his gun on him. “Yeah I’m guessing you’re not too broken up about this?”  
  
Brady bent down beside Crowley’s body and went through his pockets. “Not really. Crowley isn’t the sort of man that you mourn or miss. Most of the time he was a bastard so really you guys have done me a big favor. And to show my gratitude I’m going to dispose of the body for you, and see that Mr. Adler leaves you alone.”  
  
Gabriel arched a brow. “Out of the goodness of your heart?”  
  
“Look you killed Crowley and now I get to take over his business because I’m basically the only one who knows how. Like I said you did me a favor. So do you want me to help you out or not?”  
  
“Well when you put it like that... You’re not gonna try to shake us down later?”  
  
“No offense Gabriel but you don’t have anything I want.”  
  
“We’ll hammer out some terms, then.”  
  
“Fair enough.”  
  
Dean let their chatter fall into the background. He rearranged himself on the floor so that he was more comfortable and so that he could get a better look at Castiel. His blue eyes were hazy but he seemed a little more coherent than before. His fingers traced the blooming bruises on Dean’s neck and Dean exhaled with a shudder, feeling like he was hanging on by a fraying thread. It was weird because he feared something happening to Cas more than he feared dying. When Crowley had been choking him all he’d been thinking was please God let Gabriel and Balthazar take Castiel away from here.  
  
“I’m sorry.” He murmured into Castiel’s ear. “I’m  _so_  sorry.”  
  
“I’m fine Dean.” Castiel replied softly. “A little dizzy, and I do want to laugh at Gabriel’s height for some reason. But I’m alright.”  
  
Dean kissed his forehead. “ _Never_  do that again. Never give yourself up for me.”  
  
Castiel smiled. “Did you think twice about coming to rescue me?”  
  
“Of course not.” Dean said fervently. “I’d have come sooner if I hadn’t been knocked out.”  
  
“How you can possibly think you’re worthless when you are so—so clearly not is beyond me.” Castiel nuzzled his cheek. “But that’s alright because I am willing to help you learn your value, Dean.”  
  
Instead of replying he just nodded and stood on shaky legs, pulling Castiel up with him. It was time to go home.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

Dean was barely able to stand to take a shower but he forced himself, wanting to erase the sweat and general gross feeling from his skin. It helped that Castiel sobered up enough to steady him whenever he listed too far to one side. After they were both well rinsed and dry, they crawled under the sheets of Dean’s bed and Dean let himself be spooned and cocooned by soft wings. Castiel carded his slender fingers through his hair repeatedly and little by little he felt himself starting to doze off.  
  
Fighting it just bit he swallowed hard and said, “I thought I’d lost you.”  
  
Castiel kept playing with his hair. “But you didn’t.” Pause. “Dean I understand that it is difficult for you to comprehend because of many different factors but you  _are_  worthy of sacrifice. It was easy for me to go with Crowley because I was protecting you. You would have done the same for me. Knowing that it made giving up my freedom to keep you safe quite easy.”  
  
Dean snuggled back against him. “I wouldn’t have been okay if anything had happened to you. I—it’s—” He closed his eyes. “Would it freak you out if I said I was falling for you like big time?”  
  
Castiel chuckled. “No. Would it freak you out if I said the same?”  
  
“Maybe a little.” He said honestly. “But not enough to make me run away. You’re easily the best thing that has ever happened to me, Cas. If it wasn’t so fucken cheesy…I’d…tell you that I love you.”  
  
“Hm. Well if it wasn’t so  _cheesy_  I’d tell you that I love you too.” Castiel kissed his ear and slipped his arm carefully around his waist. “Get some rest Dean. I am not going anywhere. I promise.”  
  
Dean didn’t usually do what people told him to do but he figured for Castiel he’d make an exception.  
  
~*~  
  
It was the next morning when Castiel opened his eyes. He yawned and stretched his legs, smiling when Dean frowned and tried to get closer to him which was basically impossible. They were already smack together; nice and warm and safe. Yesterday seemed nearly like a dream especially considering the drugs that were in his system. He had no clue how he was able to pull it together to shoot Crowley. Perhaps it was God giving him the strength to protect himself and the man he cared about. He felt a sense of remorse over it and would have preferred for Crowley to live and go to jail, but he understood there was most likely no other way things could have turned out. Crowley would have continued to hunt them even if they ran.  
  
His only hope now was that Brady honored the terms of his agreement with Gabriel.  
  
 _It seems that I am finally free. Free of Zachariah and Crowley._  
  
Castiel knew exactly how he wanted to begin the next phase of his life. “Dean? Wake up. We should get going.”  
  
Dean groaned and pressed his face into his feathers. “Going where?”  
  
Very slowly Castiel slipped his wing from underneath him and sat up. “California. I would very much like to meet your brother.”  
  
“You sure?” Dean was nearly wide awake now and looking slightly fearful. “‘Cause Cas ya know you don’t have to come with me. After yesterday I don’t expect—”  
  
“Stop.” He touched Dean’s lips. “I’m going to pack and then we can go. Okay?”  
  
“Okay.” Dean whispered. “Okay.”  
  
Castiel smiled and dressed, putting on the shirt that allowed his wings to remain out. He edged through the doorway and extended them once he was outside, letting them take in the cool morning air. He was not surprised that the first person he saw was Gabriel, standing with his hands in his pockets and simply gazing out at the horizon.  
  
“You are up early.”  
  
Gabriel shrugged nonchalantly. “I actually slept pretty well so…” He kicked at the ground. “Something you want to tell me?”  
  
 _It is remarkable how well he knows me._  “Dean will be leaving for California soon and I—I will be going with him.”  
  
Gabriel hummed in response. “I figured as much. Well I can’t say that things will be the same around here without you but I get it. Deano makes you happy so I’m happy for you. But hey, if he gets weird or whatever you call me and I will come and get you. And egg his car.”  
  
Castiel laughed. “You have been the best friend and brother that I could ever ask for. You saved me when I had no one and I will be eternally grateful to you.”  
  
Gabriel ducked his head. “Yeah yeah. You’re okay for an adopted younger brother. Just take care of yourself, dude. Oh and name your first born Gabriel.”  
  
“We shall do that.” Castiel smirked.  
  
“I’ll round up the gang then so that everyone can say goodbye.” Gabriel rubbed his hands together. “Lazy bums need to get up anyway.”  
  
“Will you be alright here without me?”  
  
“Balthazar will keep me in line and I’m sure there are other special people out there that need my help. This place is more of a safe haven anyway if we are being honest.”  
  
“I am sure they will be very comfortable here. I know I was.”  
  
“Yeah but you’re easy to please. Go on pack your knick knacks. I’m gonna get Dean more of Rufus’ pills for the road.”  
  
~*~  
  
After shoving Castiel’s suitcases into the Impala’s trunk, Dean snapped it closed and hobbled around to the front of the car. He was sore, aching and bandaged but his mood couldn’t have been lighter. He wasn’t going to call Sam and tell them he was coming because he wanted it to be a surprise. Also there was a chance his brother might cry and he lived for those moments. But yeah he was pretty stoked. Anything could happen but he was focusing on the good shit for once. It wasn’t easy but whenever he felt that guilt and worthlessness creeping into his soul he just thought of Castiel and it got a little better. If someone as  _awesome_  as Cas thought he was worthy then there had to be some truth to it. Right?  
  
He plopped down gently onto the hood and smiled as Rufus ambled over. “Come to gimme more grief, old man?”  
  
Rufus snorted. “Nah not this time. You did fix a lot of shit around here for me so you’re okay. You take care of yourself, and Castiel, alright? You’re a good kid.”  
  
Dean shook his hand. “Thank you.”  
  
“Dean!” Andy hurried up still in his pajamas and bathrobe with Ava and Jake trailing behind him. “We just wanted to say bye, man. It’s been a blast having you here.”  
  
Jake grinned. “Yeah. You definitely helped make things interesting.”  
  
“Promise you’ll keep in touch.” Ava touched his arm.  
  
“I will I promise.” Dean chuckled. “You guys are an odd bunch but I liked hanging out with you. Tell Jo and Ellen I said bye by the way. I’d run by there but I wanna get on the road before the traffic gets too bad.”  
  
“Will do.” Jake said. “She’ll be sad to hear you’ve gone.”  
  
Heh. “Yeah but something tells me she’ll get over it pretty quickly.”  
  
~*~  
  
Balthazar glanced over to where Dean and the others were chatting. “Don’t suppose I can talk you out of this?”  
  
Castiel followed his gaze. “No. However leaving everyone isn’t easy. Especially you. You’re my best friend.”  
  
His friend sighed deeply. “I am going to miss you, Cassy. But…I suppose Dean isn’t  _all_  bad. I still don’t like him or anything.”  
  
“Of course not.” Castiel hugged him tightly, humor in his voice. “I will keep in touch, and you can always come and visit. Make sure that Dean is treating me well.”  
  
“I am going to hold you to that.” He replied giving Castiel a squeeze. “Oh Cassy. Do you have any idea how remarkable you are? Before meeting you I didn’t care about much of anything except money and having a good time. But you taught me that I didn’t have to be rich to find the value in living a good, clean life. You’ve been a great friend to me and although I wish we could have been more, I’m still happy to have had you anyway I could.”  
  
“You are going to make me cry.” Castiel pulled back and wiped his eyes. He knew beforehand that it was going to be tough saying goodbye to everyone but he had no idea it was going to be so dramatic. “And I was doing so well. I will miss you my friend. But we will see each other again. I could never just turn my back on this place or any of the people here. You’re my family.”  
  
Balthazar took his face in his hands. “You are mine as well. I want you to be happy, Castiel. I don’t particularly like Dean but I know that he cares about you immensely and that he will take care of you. It makes letting you go a bit easier though not by much.” A beat. “Anyway though I want you to call the moment you reach California so that we know you’re alright. Otherwise knowing Gabriel he might be inclined to follow you.”  
  
Castiel snickered; that sounded like Gabriel. “I promise. You have my word.”  
  
~*~  
  
Dean watched as Balthazar pecked Castiel’s lips in a quick kiss and grunted inwardly, rolling his green eyes. He slung his British arm around Castiel’s shoulders and walked him over to Dean, letting him go rather reluctantly.   
  
 _I know the feeling._  “Ready?”  
  
“Wait! Wait!” Gabriel dashed out of his trailer waving his camera. “I want a picture before you two love pigeons blow the nest.”  
  
Castiel sidled up beside Dean and Gabriel snapped two photos with a big grin. “Perfect. Have a safe trip. No blow jobs while driving and all that.”  
  
Balthazar shook Dean’s hand, tightening once before letting go. “Be good to Cassy or I’ll find you and hurt you.”  
  
Dean snorted. “Don’t worry I will. Thanks to all of you for making me feel so welcomed here. I’m not gonna just go out to California and never call again or whatever. I wanna keep in touch.”  
  
“You better.” Gabriel mused. “I gotta know you’re keeping my little brother in the life he is accustomed to.”  
  
Everyone said their goodbyes once again with last minute hugs and threats, and then Castiel and Dean climbed into the Impala.  
  
Dean started the engine and took one last look at the Menagerie before driving along the dirt path that led to the road. Once they were on the highway he turned on the cassette player and slouched, grinning when Castiel scooted closer so that he could put his arm around his shoulders. “Huh.”  
  
Castiel looked at him. His face was open and totally serene, not a single hint that he regretted his decision to leave because he didn’t. “Hm?”  
  
“Nah it’s just something Ava said to me that night I first saw your wings.” He nibbled on his bottom lip. “She said that I would be in a better place  _emotionally_  when I finally decided to go to California. I’d forgotten about it to be honest. You think she saw this?”  
  
Castiel nodded and kissed his jaw. “I do. I think she saw it all from the very beginning but she didn’t say anything because she didn’t want to change the outcome.”  
  
 _That makes sense._  “Huh. Cool I guess.”  
  
“Do you think you are in a better place emotionally?” Castiel inquired lightly.  
  
Dean stared out at the scenery flashing by, his mind touching on his parents and his life before and after their deaths. On Sammy and how they were trying to mend their slightly strained relationship, on the fact that hopefully it couldn’t go anywhere but up considering what they’d been through. And then it settled on Castiel and his intense stares and soft smiles. The one person that had never given up on him, that had saw through all of his bullshit and insecurities and yet still found him to be worthy. The one man that was willing to uproot his entire life just to be by his side because he loved him and wanted to prove that that love was not misplaced and totally deserved.  
  
The man with wings—Dean’s very own angel that would always look out for him while he looked out for everyone else.  
  
“I’m not one hundred percent there, no.” He smiled at Castiel and it grew when Castiel smiled back, filling him with a peace he hadn’t experienced in a very long time. “But I’ve found someone to help get me the rest of the way and far beyond. And…it’s more than I ever allowed myself to hope for. So thanks Cas, for being, you.”  
  
Castiel snuggled against him and rubbed his thigh, slotting their fingers together. “You’re welcome Dean.”  
  
~Fin~


End file.
